Kimmel: Trump Wants a ‘Blackout Drunk’ for Secy. Of Defense After Lifting DEI Policies from Gov’t Agencies

KIMMEL: “The poors prefer to live in filth. That’s just how it is. By the way, that was from a press conference about A.I. and infrastructure. So, he’s right back where he left off, shooting the breeze with reporters, grabbing everything he can. Trump has reportedly made $6 billion from the new crypto coin he launched three days before his inauguration. No one seems to have a problem with this. For all the talk about Hunter and Burisma and the Biden crime family, Trump just made $6 billion out of thin air. And they ask him about it, he just laughs it off.”

[Clip starts]
Reporter: “Do you intend to continue selling products that benefit yourself personally while you’re president?”
Trump: “Well, I don’t know if it benefited. I don’t know where it is. I don’t know much about it, other than I launched it. I heard it was very successful. I haven’t checked it. Where is it today?”
Reporter: “You made a lot of money, sir.”
Trump: “How much?”
Reporter: “Several billion dollars, it seems like, in the last several days.”
Trump: “Several billion? That’s peanuts for these guys. (Laughs)”
[Clip ends]

KIMMEL: “Anyway, I am outraged by the cost of eggs.
(Laughter)
He doesn’t pay any attention to how much money he made. It’s just not the kind of person he is. He doesn’t care about that stuff. I was reading today that a lot of reporters, even from the so-called liberal news media, are happy that Trump is back because he actually talks to them. Joe Biden rarely looked up from his malt-o-meal.
(Laughter)
But now, all of a sudden, the White House is active and full of surprises. Oops.
(Laughter)
That was Seb Gorka. He wasn’t the only one to stumble on a hot set. In fact, I believe the president himself —
(Audience moans)
Is he on Ozempic? Because he looks great.
(Applause)
Meanwhile, the mass deportations Trump promised are underway, large-scale raids on undocumented immigrants started today. Which means Melania is hiding in her bedroom for two reasons now.
(Laughter)
Yesterday, the president signed an order to lift all government DEI requirements and to put all federal employees who are working on DEI-related initiatives on immediate leave. Donald Trump won’t be satisfied until his administration is as white as the chiclets his son calls teeth.
(Laughter)
He will not tolerate DEI. DUI, fine, but no on the E!
(Laughter)
It really is so brazen. Trump says, ‘The only thing that matters when hiring people are apt feud and qualifications. Now, please confirm this blackout drunk I got off Fox News for secretary of defense, okay?’
(Laughter)
It turns out, drinking on the job might actually be one of the least-disqualifying things about Pete Hegseth. According to reports from multiple news outlets, Hegseth’s former sister-in-law alleges that Hegseth’s wife was terrified he would abuse her to the point where she and her sister had a code to text if her husband became violent and she feared for her safety. The code was ‘This man should never be defense secretary of the United States.’
(Laughter and Applause)
And now Trump wants him to have the nuclear codes.”