Am I the release valve for someone else’s pressure cooker circumstances?

A layer deeper…

what sits within me, that makes me even slightly interested in acting as that release valve?

that’s why we look back. Not to blame, but to find the faulty script, to take responsibility and to see this moment clearly for what it is.

am I, for example, projecting a father gap onto a male role model?

is my eagerness for approval making me ready prey for insatiable predators?

then i see, and say to myself → no, the conditions of this connection do not require those of an inviolable family relationship. it’s a person who will ask more, until I set my own boundary - they’ll never pat me on the back and say, enough Jas, you’ve done well. They have no incentive to and there is no incentive for me to wish for that - it’s a temporary business relationship, not love.

it may sound simple, but it’s surprising how often our lives are dictated by these under-nourished parts of us, and when we get into trouble we look up to the heavens and say “WHY! but I’m a good person!” when in reality it’s self-sabotage 101.

took me 3 decades to understand that, hopefully shorter for you.

To your healing 💙,

Jas