the right to anger, grieving and even finger pointing. but...

we can’t lift other people up, if they are lying on top of us

I always ask myself, what did i need to hear at 24 that would have helped me from a corporate burnout then, at 27 when I broke down again due to the disastrous decisions from trying to cope with 24, and then 30 - because then the body has no more juice left to allow you to cope/soothe in energetically demanding ways, instead chooses sickness, shutdown and dissociation (body says no) - or in short depression.

five years later, I'm stronger and the cycle has broken.

i can look back now, and i can say, “you did the best you could, with what you had” - to whoever YOU is that is relevant to your tribal story.

but (1) safety (2) validation (3) return to functionality

comes first.

at times my inbox is beaten down by people who identify themselves with the otherside of my discussions.

that’s the way it is, i press post and the algo sends it from my digital garden, to your eye balls.

but what i share isn’t to help emotionally immature parents, you can have your own support group.

what i share is to help broken people, that were subject to emotionally immature caregiving - and before they can go about taking responsibility, they have to have their emotional disturbance validated.

Once we are back to functionality, we have the energy, coming from a much more abundant space to look and see that everyone else is acting as DNA in the petri dish of their experience too.

and we realise that perhaps the next step in our healing journey is putting down some of the “why! how! that’s unfair!” ‘s in our monologue.

and we can say, I see you, i know you did the best you could, because you are just me, with a 20-30 year head start - subject to our/your conditions.

we can do that, but compassion for me first, then compassion for thee. Because likely the reason you are even interested in this page is because you were already taking on too much of the emotional responsibility of another persons regulation to begin with - if we overcorrect the other way, that's fine, better than doubling down. goal is to find the balance, and that only comes from change.

to your healing 💙,

Jas