Twilight Zone Spoof: Nightmare at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
President Pfauci finds himself in an underground bunker beneath the White House besieged by anti-vaxxer forces.
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The Ballad of Typhoid Mary
An early victim of medical tyranny.
Lyrics:
The Ballad of Typhoid Mary
There was a banker with his bag of
tricks
“I’ll bring the family way out in the sticks
Nothing is too big, nothing I can’t fix”
In this wonderful summer of nineteen aught-six!
They packed their bags one fine day
Even though the sky was gray
There were no warnings, no time to pray
Ominous clouds, all over Oyster Bay!
They sat down for dinner, all in the mix,
no one knew why they were picked
Half of ‘em soon were Typhoid sick
Hit ‘em hard like a ton of bricks
Landlord said “what’s this I hear?
I’ll hire a sanitation engineer"
His name is Soper and he soon appeared
No more worries, “I’ll allay all your fears”
Now they’ve asked me, are you sure?
What a question, straight from a whore
There are germs, you can’t ignore
All certified by Dr. Louie Pasteur
The one that’s affected, she’ll never repent
Soper was sure, said I’m heaven sent
These are the rules, they can never be bent
If you’re contagious, that’s no accident!
Chorus: No need at all to get a gun
I figured it out who’s ruined the fun
It’s the cook now on the run
Typhoid Mary she’s the one
Typhoid Mary I don’t care if you’re blue
Watch out now I’m coming after you
Too many sins you have accrued
Now back employed on Park Avenue!
No champagne for Mary
no one pulled the cork
when Soper tracked her down
she wouldn’t balk
He ran like hell, there was no talk
After Mary pulled out her trusty carving fork!
Soper finally caught her--the public they did cheer
Newspapers added to the jeers
Mary wouldn’t show it—any of her tears
Locked up on Brother’s Island, for three damn lonely years
Chorus: No need at all to get a gun
I figured it out who’s ruined the fun
It’s the cook now on the run
Typhoid Mary she’s the one
Bridge: Come and see the peep show gallery
Bring the kids and please don’t tarry
If thrills are what you seek
Perhaps you’ll get a peek
Of all the germs that Mary carries!
Instrumental
Mary cried aloud, I’ve been surely
cursed
My heart is fast a-sinkin, just about to burst
We’ll find you a lawyer, can’t get any worse
Courtesy of Mr. William Randolph Hearst
Health Commissioner said: “now you’re off the hook
We’ll let you out, but you must play by the book"
No money in a laundry, back hidden as a cook
“We found you out, you’re just a common crook.”
No longer could she fight, Mary was so weary
The people said, “we are just too leery”
We’ll lock you up, now how is that my dearie?
For the rest of your life, based all on our germ theory
The people turned against her, they didn’t give a lick
You see what she has done to us? Made us all damn sick
Now they’ve really done it, made the charges stick
A curse upon the Irish, just another Mick!
Mary’s cold accusers, they remained aloof
They said she was contagious, without any real proof
Could have been the diet, maybe tainted food
No one left with questions, looking for the truth
A healthy woman, but she was hexed
And maybe soon you’ll be perplexed
When they come for you, as you fit their specs
(Another) Typhoid Mary, maybe you’ll be next!
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They Tried to Kill Country (But Country Fought Back)
They Tried to Kill Country (But Country Fought Back)
They Tried to Kill Country, they said cover your face
Over my dead body, just know your place
When we’re through with your orders
You won’t find a trace
They Tried to Kill Country
But we held an ace
They Tried to Kill Country, said limit your crowds
We’ll never do that, cause we’re Country proud
We’d rather be dead, if we can’t GET too loud
That social distance, we can never allow
Chorus: You have been played and now you’re afraid
Shouldn’t we just attack?
You don’t make a sound, as they’re keeping you down
Dealing with all the flack
Just band together, Despite the bad weather
You’ve finally found the knack
They Tried to Kill Country
They Tried to Kill Country
They Tried to Kill Country
But Country fought back
They Tried to Kill Country
Repackaged the flu
It’s not pneumonia, they say it’s quite new
With their mumbo-jumbo, there’s never a clue
They Tried to Kill Country, now you don’t know what’s true
They Tried to Kill Country
Just like peas in a pod
They’ll shut you up, with their factfinder squads
There’s no freedom road, just wait for their nod
They Tried to Kill Country
And forgot about God
Chorus: You have been played and now you’re afraid
Shouldn’t we just attack?
You don’t make a sound, as they’re keeping you down
Dealing with all the flack
Just band together, Despite the bad weather
You’ve finally found the knack
They Tried to Kill Country
They Tried to Kill Country
They Tried to Kill Country
But Country fought back
Bridge: Do you comprehend our gist?
You’ll get somewhere if you persist
Think of the life you’ve already missed
Forced into a cage and now thoroughly pissed
Instrumental (verse + end of chorus)
They Tried to Kill Country
They Tried to Kill Country
They Tried to Kill Country
But Country fought back
Vamp, fade out
They tried to kill country, but country fought back, etc.
Listen to all of Turfseer’s SCAMDEMIC COLLECTION at https://soundcloud.com/turfseer/sets/scamdemic-collection
Free song and video downloads from Turfseer’s Forever Freedom song collection at www.turfseermusic.com
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Pod People Barbecue
Pod People Barbecue
(V1) They all came down from outer space
All of them started to cover their face
Some of us said that’s a disgrace, it’s true
They all were hatched and brainwashed too
None of them all had a clue
Now they’ve got a shindig we’re all invited to
It’s the Pod People Barbecue
(chorus 1) They all were born with different brains
You could say they’re all insane
Spreading fear they always hear on the news
It’s their cult of experts, who peddle lies
Claiming that we’re all gonna die
Unless you take orders, from the CDC and the WHO
At the Pod People Barbecue
(v2) They’ve been programmed to take their shots
You could call them a dangerous lot
They’ll jab us all and they’ll never stop
It’s déjà vu
It’s a road, they’ve started to pave
Now they’ve turned us, into obedient slaves
This crazy cookout, everyday begins anew
It’s the Pod People Barbecue
(Chorus 2) They all were born with different brains
You could say they’re all insane
Spreading fear they always hear on the news
It’s their cult of experts, who peddle lies
Claiming that we’re all gonna die
Unless you take orders, from the CDC and the WHO
At the Pod People Barbecue
Bridge: They’re cookin up a dish that’s oh so cold
Got the people scared, with their fool’s gold
Time to wake up or they will steal your soul
In this new world, you’ll never be free
If you believe there’s an emergency
All they’ll do is take your liberty
Or do you disagree?
(V4) Instrumental
(Chorus 3) They walk here among you in their disguise
Claim they’re saving the world, deserving a prize
It’s really bad, oh if you only knew
They selected the earth
Now they’re on course
To take over the world
With their alien force
Just don’t attend
It’s one big poison brew
It’s the Pod People Barbecue
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My Covid Crazy Girl
MY COVID CRAZY GIRL
(v1) She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
We were once a pair
Now she sees all these viruses floating in the air
She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
Well she sees them everywhere
Go ahead and question her
Do it if you dare
(pre-chorus) She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
And she always makes a scene
What we had together
Is now a broken dream
(chorus1) She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
Used to be oh so free
Now she believes in all the spin
She watches on her TV
She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
Never asks for proof
She listens to her experts
Yeah that sure ain’t my truth
(v2) She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
Once my shining star
But now she likes to drive alone
Masked up in her car
She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
Now she’s gone to pot
Whenever she goes to the supermarket
She wants to know if you took the shot
(pre-chorus) She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
And I no longer can pretend
Time for me to say goodbye
And tell her this is the end
(chorus 2) She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
Used to be oh so free
She believes in all the spin
She watches on her TV
She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
Never asks for proof
She listens to her experts
Yeah that sure ain’t my truth
Bridge:
Across the street are our neighbors
She no longer talks to them
Good old folks who won’t take the jab
Good people she condemns
She’s so afraid, she makes no sense
Quakin’ in her boots
Then turns around to bully
Actin like a brute
Verse instrumental
(Pre-chorus) She once believed in freedom
Acting like she should
But now she has strange notions
To Serve the greater good
(Chorus 3)
She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
And I know she’ll never bend
I no longer recognize her
Even as a friend
She’s my Covid Crazy Girl
Seeks to take the world by force
That sure ain’t American
That sure ain’t American, of course
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Protest at NYC Health Department 1-19-22
Freedom loving people protesting at NYC Department of Health, Board of Ed and City Hall over forced vaccinations and mandate policies.
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1692 Was a Very Good Year
1692 Was a Very Good Year
(v1) 1692 was a very good year
In Salem, Massachusetts they were living in fear
No one could deny, that the devil was near
Everywhere you went, it was so rich
Wild accusations that you were a witch
Hysterical people, they found their niche
(Pre-chorus 1) No one imagined that there could be a mistake
It got out of hand, now it was too late
What did it matter if some were burned at the stake?
1692 was a very, very, very good year
(v2) 1692 meant evil decrees
Fighting a monster that you couldn’t see
It was declared, there’s an emergency
Orders came down from way up on high
You must persecute or else you will die
It never occurred to anyone—this was a lie
(Pre-chorus 2) Expert opinion was the rage of the day
The people bowed down, all started to pray
There were no questions and they always obeyed
1692 was a very, very, very good year
( Chorus 1) THEY claimed there were witches, who they accused
They singled them out, “we’ll give the devil his due”
“Let’s make it legal, the courts must decide”
So sure of themselves in their Puritan pride
Sinners possessed, and they could not hide
And all of the judges went along for the ride.
(v3) Instrumental
(Bridge): Good Old Cotton Mather
The Minister who wrote the book
He pointed his pious finger
At all the innocent souls that he took
(v4) 1692 was the time to confess
Too many sinners, they were a threat
We have all the proof we need, that you can bet
A holy crusade, they had to attest
While pinning shiny medals right on their chest
Such an unholy plan, they could never give it a rest
(Pre-chorus 3) God’s vengeful word was the science of the day
Ignore it just once and you will surely pay
Don’t trust the science it’ll lead to your moral decay
1692 was a very, very, very good year
(Chorus 2) THEY claimed there were witches, who they accused
They singled them out, “we’ll give the devil his due”
“Let’s make it legal, the courts must decide”
So sure of themselves in their Puritan pride
Sinners possessed, and they could not hide
And all of the judges went along for the ride.
(Coda) 1692 Was a Very Good Year
In Salem, Massachusetts they were living in fear
No one could deny, that the devil was near
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Sheeple University
SHEEPLE UNIVERSITY
(v1) Sheeple University
That is where I earned my degree
Our motto’s here for all to see
Never question authority
We’ve paid our tuition, we’ve been bought
Now there’s no independent thought
It’s so nice that we’ve been taught
Never oppose this holy juggernaut
(v2) Sheeple University
We’re filled up to capacity
It’s sure no calamity
That one plus one now equals three
Learn to bully, throw a fit
Just obey and submit
All your moral bearings lost
Follow us and pay the cost
Chorus (1): We pledge allegiance to our new creed
We feel no guilt over our dark deeds
Science permeates our soul
Our lessons learned—it’s all about control
(v3) Sheeple University
We teach closed minds so you won’t be free
Censorship is now a must
Just obey and earn our trust
Victimhood is what we teach
On our government you can always leech
Don’t accuse us of overreach
Follow orders is what we preach
Bridge: We must now intimidate
If you do not cooperate
Virtue signal, watch TV
That is really now the key
Be all you can be
At Sheeple University
(v4) Instrumental
Chorus (2): We pledge allegiance to our new creed
We feel no guilt over our dark deeds
Science permeates our soul
Our lessons learned—it’s all about control
(v5) Sheeple University
Why not go for your Ph.D?
As long as you fall to your knees
Convincing all there’s an emergency
No more work, have you forgot?
Now it’s time to take your shot
Educated oh no you’re not
(Coda) In total harmony
We all now agree
No more freedom at Sheeple University!
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Twilight Zone Spoof: Nightmare at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (JFK Version)
President Fauci retreats to a bunker beneath the White House after he faces his first major crisis in office following strategic advances made by Anti-Vaxxer forces in the nation's capital.
This parody is for nonprofit educational purposes only. It falls under the province of Section 107 of the US Copyright Law of 1976 in which allowance is made for the "fair use" of works of art that include criticism, comment, news reporting, etc.
The Twilight Zone was created by Rod Serling. The Twilight Zone theme was composed by Marius Constant. The original Twilight Zone Television Series is under copyright with CBS.
All viewers are encouraged to purchase any merchandise related to the original Twilight Zone series including music, DVDs and streaming of episodes on media platforms.
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1
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The Commandant
A song about internment camps for the unvaccinated.
The Commandant
(v1) I’m the Commandant, you must play by our rules
You didn’t listen, we gave you the tools
That’s what you get, a knock on the door
We’ll take you away, you’ll be feeling quite sore
We blocked all your funds, you can’t pay the rent
You don’t understand, we brook no dissent
Do you still want to fight, are you really quite sure?
Just come right in, we’ve opened up the door
(v2) I’m the Commandant, now you’re locked up
Yes I know it was quick, and so abrupt
It’s a bit cold and certainly damp
You want to write home, but we’re all out of stamps
How is the food, you’re looking quite lean
We’re running quite short, during this quarantine
You can fume all you want, feeling so cramped
How do you like, our new internment camp?
(Chorus 1) We have decrees, bring you to your knees
You must accept, there’s an emergency
No more questions, no more gab
All because you won’t take our jab
(v3) Why are you here? You’ve got to know why
It’s very simple, we don’t want to die
You can infect us, we offer no proof
You just have to trust us, we know the truth
Locking you up, we know it looks bad
But we just don’t care, that you’re feeling quite sad
We’ll never admit, that we’re really quite sick
This is our job to punish the heretics
(Chorus 2) We have decrees, bring you to your knees
You must accept, there’s an emergency
No more questions, no more gab
All because you won’t take our jab
(Bridge) We deal in numbers, you know you can’t win
Just cold statistics and our marvelous spin
We invented a monster, that you’ll never see
Now don’t you know that you’ll never be free
And how do you like our audacity?
It’s segregation, just like old times
You’ll end up here, if you don’t tow the line
Verse instrumental
(Chorus 3) The clock is ticking, your time is up
You must obey, drink from our cup
No more questions, no more gab
All because you won’t take our jab
(V4) You never thought, it could happen here
I’m the Commandant, and I bring you good cheer
The rooms are quite comfy, it’s a beautiful day
We can’t guarantee, how long you will stay
Controlling your thoughts, there’s no other way
Did you really believe, that you’d never pay?
It’s for your protection, Yes I’m now on a roll
I’m the Commandant, and I’ve claimed your very soul
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Twilight Zone Spoof: Nightmare at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (George Bailey Version)
President Fauci retreats to a bunker beneath the White House after he faces his first major crisis in office following strategic advances made by Anti-Vaxxer forces in the nation's capital.
This parody is for nonprofit educational purposes only. It falls under the province of Section 107 of the US Copyright Law of 1976 in which allowance is made for the "fair use" of works of art that include criticism, comment, news reporting, etc.
The Twilight Zone was created by Rod Serling. The Twilight Zone theme was composed by Marius Constant. The original Twilight Zone Television Series is under copyright with CBS.
All viewers are encouraged to purchase any merchandise related to the original Twilight Zone series including music, DVDs and streaming of episodes on media platforms.
646
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The Virus is my God
With a pop infused folk sound, Turfseer transports the listener into a not-so-distant world that parallels our present time. With turn of the century wild west imagery and metaphors, Turfseer delivers a bold allegorical message, a parable, over driving drums, alternating toms, a haunting harmonica and electrifying guitar solo. So-called “experts” arrive in town one day warning of destruction if people don’t fall in line with a new, more authoritarian way of living. Citizens are robbed of their individuality and their livelihoods, all for the greater good, or so they are told. ‘The Virus Is My God’ is an artist’s valid, heartfelt plea, to right the wrongs of today’s world as he sees it.
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