The Protest Show with Thor Ramsey: It Could Be Worse

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It Could Be Worse

Welcome to the Idiocracy—Banana Joe’s Republic, episode 9 of Season 2. I’m your host and Woman of Year Runner Up Depending Upon the Context, Thor Ramsey, fighting the rising tide of wokeness one joke at a time.
Is two plus two four? I can’t say. I’m not a mathematician.
As many of you know, Supreme Court Nominee Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson was sneakily asked, “Can you define the word woman?” Now, that’s a tricky question, because in order to define a woman you have to know what the word define means.
Can you define a woman is the wrong question. Better questions are, “Do you have breasts that produce milk? Were you born with a uterus and ovaries? Can you pop another human out of your body? Are you two feet shorter than the ‘woman’ who beat you in a swimming meet?”
Those are the right questions. And if you can answer yes to any of those questions, what does it mean? It means you are in pain because you’ve been cursed by God for blaming what you did on someone else and now you have to have babies. No wonder she was afraid to answer.
To help answer the question, “What is a woman?” Let’s follow the science, looking to the Public Health Commission to give us some insight into… [photo of Rachel Lavine] Okay, we’re gonna move on.
If appointed to the Supreme Court, Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson would be the first black… what? We don’t want to say, because, you know, who’s to say. What I can say is that Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson will be the first black undefined entity to that revered office.
The really troubling thing about Judge Brown’s answer to the question was that she said she couldn’t answer because she wasn’t a biologist. Now, my mom and dad told me from a young age that I was a boy. How can I trust their assessment now? They weren’t biologists. They must have just been guessing.
Now it’s too late. I’d feel too awkward going to a biologist at this age and asking him if I’m a boy or a girl.
Maybe that’s why the Boy Scouts of America changed their requirements, because they’re not biologists. They can start fires and put up a tent, but don’t ask them to direct you to the nearest restroom of your gender.
Here’s the thing, though. If this confirmation process is a charade as so many say and she’s confirmed regardless—then why not just answer the freaking question?
She claims not to have a judicial philosophy! How do you function as a judge without a judicial philosophy? Oh, wait! I know. She carries her Dungeon and Dragons dice wherever she goes.

How can she judge Roe v. Wade? She’s not a doctor. When does life begin? She’s the Lord.
USA Today said that even science says there’s no easy answer to the question, “What is a woman?” Hey, when did science become a moron?
Regarding the NCAA swimmer known as Leah Thompson, a professor at Wheaton College said: “Lots of people are assigned male at birth, have higher testosterone levels ... and could never make a Division I swimming team. Why do we attribute her current success to her assigned sex, rather than to her long record as an elite swimmer?” Uh, because of her testicles?
I thought Wheaton was the Harvard of the evangelical movement? I’d run the other way, Christians… as far away from Wheaton as you can get. And if you have testicles, you’ll run faster.
Even Katlyn Jenner said she doesn’t think it’s fair for transgender athletes to compete in women’s sports. Yeah, I said she. When you say something sane, I’m gonna respect your pronouns.
Judge Brown Jackson said she couldn’t define woman in that context. To illustrate her point, let’s define my gender contextually. I happen to be a heterosexual man. How do I know this? Because in my pocket I have a list of things my wife gave me to do.
Katanji Brown Jackson will be the first black woman nominated to the Supreme Court. It’s a shame she can’t enjoy the honor of her nomination, since she doesn’t know what a woman is.
Judges have to make judgments based upon the law, not upon their utopian woke ideology. Can you imagine a lawyer stating his case, “He stabbed her in broad daylight.” “Did you say broad daylight? Are you trying to gender the daylight?”
What if she had been asked, “How would you define a man?” “Toxic!” That response would not create a backlash on Twitter.
I will say this. It could have been a lot worse—Biden could have nominated someone that we would take seriously.
Now, let me just state frankly, that I can make all these jokes about Ketanji Brown Jackson because she does not have a medical condition. She chose that former cast member of The Facts of Life look all by herself.
Oh, crap, I gotta go. Here comes Will Smith. How many women is this guy married to? Well, they do have an open marriage.
Did you see Will Smith slap Chris Rock at the Oscars? I’m still trying to finish up my diagram that proves white males are to be blamed.
I can understand Will Smith’s reaction to Chris Rock’s insensitive joke, because Jada does have a medical condition called alopecia that causes hair loss. However, I can’t help feeling that slap was for all the guys he hasn’t been able to slap in his open marriage. Let’s just hope he can define woman.
Or maybe it was as simple as this. If you watch the footage right before the slap, Will Smith was laughing it off, but Jada was not happy. So, Will Smith knew if he didn’t want to be “Pimp Slapped” later, Chris Rock had to “Pimp Slapped” now!
I will say this. It could have been a lot worse for Chris Rock—he could have been a white guy.
That’s our program for today. I want to thank our director, Jefferson Drexler, our executive producer, Joel Fieri, our social media master, Danny Avila, and my cowriter Ron McGehee. I’d also like to thank Ron Bass for our new intro graphics.

If you liked this episode, but sure to click like, because there is no “loved it” button. Even if you only found it mildly amusing, click like, because we might be funnier in the future. If you want to fight the rising tide of wokeness in this country, click like to join a truly peaceful protest. And please subscribe, because that’s the most meaningful vote of all. For more episodes, visit ChristianPodcastCentral.com
I’m Thor Ramsey and I hope you’re less woke America.

For more episodes, visit ChristianPodcastCentral.com