Question and Answer for 03 MAR 2022

Is it ok to start learning social dancing in order to meet the opposite sex?

IMO There’s nothing wrong with doing social dancing to meet the opposite sex. If you want dating prospects you have to leave the house and do things. One of the uses for dancing is social networking and creating a romantic connection. (A dance can also be platonic).

There is going to be a plethora of white knights who protest and say “if you are taking dance classes to just impress the ladies, please find another hobby”. I completely disagree with that. I see dance classes as an opportunity to find somebody who also enjoys the same hobby as you. People are often so quick to jump to the negative, but what about the positive experiences? I met my last GF through social dancing, and I am super happy and grateful for the time we spent together.
If I were to give advice to somebody who is looking to meet the opposite sex from dance classes, I will say this.

“If you want to meet and attract the opposite sex, become good at something. That is an EASY Way to become attractive. If you can focus on becoming proficient at a skill, attractiveness will come as a byproduct. This does not apply to every skill/hobby. But luckily for you, it does apply to social dancing. The best dancers have lines of people wanting to dance with them. There is something about watching an individual excel at their craft, its almost mesmerizing, inspiring. Why is it? I think its because we understand that this person has dedicated time and effort to become who they are. I believe they everyone understands on a basic level, that anything worth something, you have to work for. And so when we are able to find someone who is good at a skill, we understand that this person has good traits and qualities that we admire. This is why people love professional athletes, yes they are physically gifted, but they have also dedicated years of their life to a specific skillset. And if you are not a fan of sports, think about your favorite movie actor or film director. This people have dedicated their lives to their craft. Anyone can turn on a camera and press record. Only the greats have the ability to hold your attention. I say all this to say, Get good at your dreams, desires, wants, and I believe everything else in life will fall Into place.

Next question

This BF/GF starting dance classes together. At some point the Boyfriend became more serious about the dance. Now when they go to socials together, the BF is approached by females, but the females never address the girlfriend (Say hi, introduce themselves) they only talk to the BF. But the exact same is true for the GF. Men will approach her and talk to her, but they will not address the BF. The GF is becoming insecure about this situation because she believes that these women are trying to make a statement of how they have more power over the BF than she does as the GF. I hope this makes sense to everyone.

dance socials are full of people you may not know. if i see a friend standing next to a stranger, I just naturally address my greeting to the friend. I do include the other person in my greeting if I get the impression they are important to my friend.

It sounds like the gf may be getting insecure about the developing dance relationships with other women. If so, the question is whether she can work through her insecurities and maintain a trusting relationship with the BF. You cannot do it for her, no matter how much you try. You can only help her by being communicative and transparent, and making sure she feels prioritized in your life.

It is very normal in dance circles that leads get to know the follows and vice versa, because we dance together. I'd also argue that the ladies tend to get to know other ladies better than men get to know other men, because commonly there are fewer leads than follows and ladies talk when waiting for the next song. just remember that you make friends with the people you’re dancing with. Most people dance most of the time with the opposite gender. It’s not romantic or sexual, it’s just following gender norms. Just reassure her that while you mostly dance with women and therefore befriend lots of women, that’s just because of the nature of the dance. You love the dance, but as far as people go she’s your one & only. It doesn’t matter what the other women do or think.

I am curious if people even know that these two are couples? I would advise they both introduce the other when someone comes over to speak. “Hey this is my BF or Hey this is my GF”.

Like I said earlier, I think it’s a natural thing when it comes to improving that people will want to dance with you more and more. You can kind of see when sitting on the side which leads really know what they’re doing and that makes the dance more exciting and smooth.

Lastly I want to say, it may be easy to act bravado or all machismo. But in all honesty, I’d recommend focusing on acknowledging your partners feelings. As silly and ridiculous as they may seem to you sometimes, the last thing you want to do is dismiss their feelings. Reassure them that you are not out there looking for a romantic adventure.

#Salsa
#Bachata
#Kizomba
#Podcast
#BrazilianZouk
#Dance
#Tarraxinha
#Zouk
#Passada
#RetroZouk
#Ginga
#Bolero
#Forro
#Lamba
#LambaZouk
#Afro
#Latin
#African
#CapeVerde
#Caribbean
#Pachanga
#Lambada
#Dance
#Dancers

2LF Links

_______________________________________________

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Tw0LeftFeet
Instagram: tw0_left_feet
Website: https://2leftfeet.blog/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2171874589599779/
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoLeftFeetPodcast/
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/two-left-feet-podcast/id1454425997
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5bQSnwKDmHbDQdgnZ0OrC3
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Twoleftfeet
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR109vJ4Pbl146Ok1u5vSuA
Anchor: https://anchor.fm/twoleftfeetpodcast