What does it look like when we hide how we feel?

It doesn’t. You can’t look at a person and see it on their face. BUT you will see it in their behaviour.

As humans we were gifted with the ability to feel. Yep men it’s a gift whether you like it or not 😂

When we hide or ignore how we feel, we behave in ways that just aren’t who we really are.

To look at me in these 2 pics, would be to see pure joy and happiness.
Underneath I sometimes hide sadness, grief and at times anger. When I left Zimbabwean prison and was forcibly deported, lost my 2 little humans. They’re still there. I fight daily to fix this. That fight means every day I have big feelings that must be felt. They must be allowed, or I hide them.

This can make me quiet, withdrawn and more likely to be short tempered or just ugly to be around.

The reality for me, is I have to wake up daily and work at releasing and feeling what I have on my plate. If I don’t. Those around me suffer.
If I can overcome these feelings, then I can teach you. I can very simply show you techniques that will bring you back to calm and allow you to be a better version of yourself. I will teach you to respond to life and it’s challenges, instead of reacting.

To respond is to pause. Be calm. Be calculated. Use empathy. Use kindness. Act with strategy and purpose. Use discipline with love.
To react can be impulsive. Withdrawn or shut down. Be short tempered. To not think. To allow hidden emotions to fly out. To hurt. To regret. To feel guilt. To then hide even further (using anything we can find).
These behaviours are not just about outbursts and anger. They can be just as bad (or worse) when you disconnect or shut down. When your so scared of the feelings and thoughts, you force them down even deeper.

This is especially true of men, who’s fathers just didn’t know how to equip them with the tools to feel. Nobodies fault. We don’t focus on the problem, we deal with the symptom in coaching.

But now you change this. There is no failure until we do not try. Learning to feel this stuff is easy. It helps you let go of the junk from the past. It helps heal if you need it.

Most importantly it stops this crap from being passed down. As parents we owe it to them to try our best. Always. We won’t always win but like I said…..

The only failure is when we don’t try.

Ask me questions. It’s free. My job in this life is to share my experience and hopefully help you to be a better you. So you can be a better father, mother, sister, brother, businessperson or whatever motivates you.
Don’t let embarrassment and procrastination steal time. Find your motivation, or let me inspire you to find it.

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