Tapping for feeling unworthy. How to be vulnerable in a relationship (Pt 3/3)

In this video we explore what it means to be valued by others and by ourselves and how that impacts deeper connections

Newsletter signup
https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/

Online learning
https://rossanneclay.com/shop

Contact
support@rossanneclay.com

Spotify Podcast
https://open.spotify.com/show/3J4ZXhW...

For a support community
https://discord.gg/ZMemVjgA

Chapters
0:00 Introduction
0:32 How value creates connection
0:50 External factors
2:47 Self-esteem vs self-value
3:58 Tapping to feel valued
16:00 Conclusion

To understand how value can create a connection we need to understand how we value others and ourselves
We mistakenly determine value by external factors:
Money - many cultures place importance on how much you earn or how much money you have. This can cause low self esteem if your income drops or if you don’t have much money. That means that for some people paternity leave or retirement can be a traumatic experience.
if you don’t have a lot of money you might consider yourself lesser than someone else conversely if someone has more than you you might place more value on them. Try making a deep connection with someone when in the back of your mind you think you’re inferior because you don’t have as much

Appearance-many cultures value beauty - historically beauty has been a method to lift a family out of poverty of their beautiful child marries a wealthy family. Appearance is also how you present yourself. Unknowingly you might be judging a beautiful person to be better than you and a shabby person to be lesser than you. Or you might desire being seen in a fancy location.
How easy is it for you to create a meaningful relationship when your subconscious mind is distracted by how you appear to others

Social life - maybe you’re the type of person that values who you know or the type of socialising you do. Do find yourself Name dropping like it’s some kind of trophy to know someone famous or wealthy? Do you place high importance on regular outings? Do you place importance on what you do and with who more than on forming connections with people?

Achievements - many cultures value how hard you work or how productive you are or how accomplished you. Often we wear exhaustion like a badge of honour. Or we want praise for all the things we do - the menial laborious tasks of household chores or the qualifications and titles we acquire. Do you unconsciously rank people’s value based on how hard they work or their achievements? Do you need recognition or praise for what you do as a measure of your own self worth? It’s tricky to create intimate relationships when you’re busy being productive, or busy earning your worth

When you feel that you are not valued you typically have the thought pattern of not enough
Not enough time
Not enough money
Not enough friends
Not fit enough
Not fast enough
Not smart enough
Not funny enough

In the space of not feeling valued you fear being judged or criticised and from this space it’s hard to share openly with people. You spend more energy guarding yourself from the outside world.

Everything is a comparison and you’re often looking at who has more rather than who has less. You believe your outer world a reflection of your value so your subconscious mind is consumed by the constant analysis- wasting so much energy on comparisons and you don’t even know it’s happening! But it leaves very little brain power for creating a fulfilling life.

Feeling valued is feeling worthy and deserving from within without external factors.
self-value sits on a fluctuating scale depending on mood, environment and competence but mostly is based on our subconscious thought patterns

The feeling of being valued is a focus issue - focusing on a mindset of plenty
Plenty of money
Plenty of good health
Plenty of love

Increasing self-worth is about accepting and loving all parts of you, forgiving yourself for any harsh self-criticisms and letting go of your self-berating thought patterns. When you value yourself more you open yourself up to seeing the value in others and this creates real connection.

#brenebrown #efttapping #tapping #eft

Music by Epidemic Sound
Tree Shadow
Cerulean Skies