Jealousy and Self-Esteem

Jealousy and Self-Esteem

Thank You, Lord Jesus, for explaining the devil's tactics to pull us down and to hurt one another. Lord, please quicken us by Your Spirit to be aware of what we say and what we feel. Thank You, Lord. Amen.

Beloved ones, the Lord has put it on my heart to talk to you about your sense of self, and how that affects you and those around you.

And in other places I might contradict myself--it may seem that way. But there are seasons. There are seasons for looking at yourself and feeling at peace and good about yourself. And there's seasons for lowering yourself and bringing yourself to a more humble place. So, there's no contradiction. This is just a different season.

And it especially happens when we gather together in groups.

First, I would like to say that the enemy spends countless hours accusing you of everything he can to get you to wither, withdraw, and put your candle under a bushel. His whole tactic is to cause you to feel worthless and withdraw from others. He fears you, because Christ lives in you. And so, at any moment you can do damage to his kingdom by one simple word of encouragement to a faltering soul. His tactic is to get you so embroiled in your own faults that you just want to crawl into a hole and pull a rock over it. And I can't tell you how many times I've felt that way!

Once he has accomplished many layers of low self-esteem, then you are ripe to be used to cause trouble. You feel badly about yourself, so you become jealous of others very easily. Your eyes are off Jesus and on your faults. You don't want to talk about the virtue or accomplishments of others, because it is threatening to your already weakened sense of who you are. You don't want to move forward with the Lord, because you believe He looks at you as a useless loser. You tend to see other virtues and good qualities in other people exaggerated, making you feel hopeless to ever live up to your calling. Very often you get a sucker punch when you are down, which just about finishes you off.

Dear ones, the remedy for this is dwelling with Jesus! In His Word, in His Presence through the shuffle setting on your music, allowing Him to choose what songs to play--when. And for those who understand the value of the Eucharist or the consecrated communion wafer. Adoration; lingering with Jesus, keeping Him company, as He is truly present. But under the appearance of bread in the Eucharist. This is when He can wash all that filth of inadequacy and failing self-esteem totally off of you, and fill you with Himself.

Now the real importance of this message lies in the dynamics of jealousy. Jealousy. Spiritual Jealousy, or just plain old Jealousy manifests in many different ways in this competitive world that we live in. And if you are coming in to serve the Lord, you certainly don't want competition to be part of your character.

Perhaps it is a sinking feeling when someone has done something you wanted to do--but never pursued with enough intention to accomplish it. Perhaps it is set off by someone you like spending more time with another person and overlooking you. Perhaps it is a very slight feeling of sorrow when another is exalted in some way.

And at this point, I was hoping the Lord would take over. And most graciously, He did!

Jesus began, "My Bride, jealousy is deadly. Along with that comes a spirit of Competition. Now, I want you to pause and examine your reactions today, and even yesterday. I want you to look for those things that touched you with sadness--either the big things, or the little tiny things that you reacted to with a sense of failure or loss.

"Spiritual jealousy is one of the most deadly diseases that exist in My Body. It causes people to overlook the good in others, and position themselves for advancement--when they know very well someone else is better qualified. It causes them to discourage those who are talented and just beginning to bud. It causes them to suppress opportunities for others to advance or shine. It causes them to step out of their role in My Kingdom and take on another role that can be used to manipulate others. It causes them to overlook others and pass them by--when they should be engaged in My work.

"I detest jealousy in My Body on Earth. I detest it. It brings so much sorrow and irreparable damage to tender souls I have chosen to come forth and press in with their given skills. Jealousy steals life, anointing, and hope. Jealousy severely handicaps a body of Believers as far as how I may use them. It reeks of pride and self-seeking. Jealousy is something each and every one of you has at one time or another nurtured against another soul.

"I am wanting this out of your nature. You will never succeed or advance in My Kingdom if you harbor these feelings and attitudes. You may shine like a diamond in public, but when you stand before Me you are naked and wretched--especially if your behavior and attitude has injured other souls.

"My Darling Bride, there is NO reason on this Earth or in Heaven that should ever make you jealous. You do not know who you are. You are a one-of-a-kind original that contains the exquisiteness of the cosmos in just one little smile. You are queens and kings in My Kingdom, and your value surpasses anything you can imagine.

"When you have dwelling prayer with Me, I help you imbibe, soak up, greatness from Me. I make you whole, and fill you with My presence, which is the glory of My Presence manifested in you. If you could but see who you truly are in My eyes, you would never be jealous of another soul.

"I do not see you as a failure. Rather, I see you as having already accomplished great things for My Kingdom. I see the finished diamond, not the chunk of coal. You look at what you are not and compare yourselves with what they are--and you fall into despair. If you would look at Me, you would get the real picture. You would be encouraged to press in, to exert more energy in the right direction. You would be filled with hope and visualize yourself completed in My eyes.

"There is NO ONE on this Earth who can compare to you, My Bride. You are stunningly unique, even in your unpolished state. You carry all the attributes given you by the Father, and I see them as completed. Because some day, they will be. I can look into the so-called future and see the completion of all your talents manifested and serving in the Kingdom. When you actually, through hard work, arrive there--you will see what I see in you right now.

"Truly, this is the Mystery. But the DNA of the Father is imprinted in your being, and to Me you are the most exquisite and unique person on Earth. None can compare. Each of you, like a fingerprint, is arranged differently and manifests differently. No person on Earth can compare to you.

"You are one of a kind. Period.

"Now, when you begin to believe this. See it. Feel it. Truly receive it--you will never be jealous again. Never. Your understanding is very limited when you dwell with others. You see them with the eyes of the flesh, and very often find yourself comparing your poor qualities to their virtues. This is a false impression, aided by the Deceiver and Father of Lies. He provokes you to jealousy, so that you can be used to hurt yourself and others.

"My children and faithful Bride, do not permit jealousy in your heart or thinking. Many of you have strongholds in that area. In other words, you have cooperated with a spirit of Jealousy enough times that the enemy has built a stronghold that must be taken down. Bitterness, too, feeds jealousy when you begin to ponder, 'If I had gotten a start like she did, I'd be really good, too."

And I just want to make an aside here. Uh oh...the Lord is pinpointing the jealousy that tries to sneak in when I hear Kari Jobe play and sing. And I often think that very same thought. 'Gee, Lord, why did You allow me to be born into this family? If I had been born a pastor's daughter with a piano at a young age, I could be accomplished like she is.'

The Lord continued, "I am glad you see that, My Love. You do great damage to yourself when you ponder those things. You also insult Me, Who allowed you to have a less-than-perfect childhood. You have many more hurdles to overcome, because of your age and your start in life. But all that does is prove how powerful My grace is working within you. Besides. I see you complete and accomplished in all the graces given you.

"When you nurture that attitude, (the bad attitude, He's talking about) Jealousy forms a bitter seed in your heart, which sprouts and begins to grow until it chokes out life rather than nourishing it. This happens because you take your eyes off Me and put them on a creature. When you continue to dwell with Me, you catch the vision of who you are in Me--and you have no thoughts about anyone but Me. This then translates into beautiful and unique music. Music that only you could have created. And it reaches the target of a soul's heart and draws them to Me.

"I am asking you, My dear ones who dwell in community life--even on the Mountain. Do not compare yourself to any other. Keep your eyes on Me. When you begin to feel jealousy springing up, whether it is the enemy or your own thought, I want you to visualize a RED blinking light. 'Danger ahead!' Nip it in the bud. Either reason it out in prayer with Me or get a rhema to disclose your vulnerability and how to avoid a fall.

"You can be sure that a soul whose soul-friend is My Mother, will be warned quickly that sin is stalking. She is the Mother of the Bride, and knows exactly what pleases Me and what grieves Me. And through the Holy Spirit she will awaken your conscience to the layers of envy that are still a part of your nature. When they are disclosed, you have only to ask Me, 'Oh, Jesus! Please remove this from me. I don't want it.' Then, it is also important to rebuke a spirit of Envy and Jealousy and ask for the grace of humility and knowledge of how much I love you. And how beautiful your soul is to Me.

"And finally, I love littleness. I love little things; tiny things. They are to Me so very humble and poor. I am attracted to humility and poverty of spirit. Each one of you has been assigned a vessel to fill with My grace. Some are impoverished and have big vessels--and see how much of their lives they have wasted on empty and foolish things."

That's me...

"They, like, Mary Magdalene are acutely aware of their past and what the grace of forgiveness has cost Me. And so, they hunger for mountains of grace to fill and cleanse themselves from the past. Those who have sinned much, love much. They have been forgiven much, and so they hunger for the cleansing graces.

"When you see a soul like this, that relentlessly searches after Me to be filled, do not grow jealous. If you find yourself in this place, repent deeply and call to mind your own weaknesses and how sorry you are for your shortcomings.

"Believe Me, there is plenty to discover. I hide much of your weaknesses and imperfections from you, lest you become discouraged. But do not allow yourself to be jealous of them. Rather, examine your own heart, and call upon Me to deliver you with deeper and greater graces. You may be a thimble and the other person a barrel. But you are of inestimable worth in My eyes, and I adore your littleness. It is precious to Me.

"Therefore, do not grow bitter or discouraged. Rather, press in until you are so full it matters no longer who is getting more grace. You are satisfied with your portion, because you are filled. So, there is no need to envy another soul whose vessel is deeper and wider. Remember, they must try harder to prepare themselves to receive My grace.

"Another consideration is that some are called to minister to others, and so they must have a cistern to be filled each day. You, on the other hand, may be a privileged soul who keeps Me company, and a little mouse comes along and drinks a few drops from your thimble. In the meantime, your heart is captivated and enlarged by My presence, and I am consoled by your devout adoration. So, there is no need to compare. You have what is fitting for you in this season--and another has what is fitting for them. Both of you are fulfilled and complete. Whether you be a thimble or a barrel.

"And there are times and seasons in your work with Me. Some sit in the back of the canoe and paddle hard to reach the destination, while their brother sits in the bow and eats raisin cakes."

lol... I've told this one before. It's probably familiar to a lot of you.

He continued, "Do not grow jealous or impatient with them, because they are not at the stern huffing and puffing away. Rather, recognize this is your season to paddle, and seasons change. Soon enough, you will be eating raisin cakes while another works hard paddling.

"In short, My dearly loved ones. Examine your hearts and come to Me in true contrition for all the times you have had an envious thought. I will deliver and heal you, but you must first be honest with yourself and repent. Then you will draw down a whole river of graces to cleanse and nourish your soul. And you will thirst no more."

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