Pastor Overcomes Sickness and Worthlessness & Wonderful New Things Happening

Pastor Overcomes Sickness and Worthlessness & Wonderful New Things Happening

Lord Jesus, thank you for the faithful ones who have a heart for this Channel and support us with prayer and donations. Thank you that it is ample enough to give away to the poor substantially.

We have been chosen by the Lord to be lights in the darkness and provision for some of the very poorest of God's people around the world, as well as trafficked children. And we couldn't do this without you, Heartdwellers. Thank you, precious family, for taking care of us every month, and for your prayers.

Well, my computer is fixed and working again. Great things are starting up and we are reaching out as the Lord told us to do, to lengthen our tent pegs, because we are growing.

What a joy it is to see new life in the Spring! I have to tell you, Heartdwellers, wonderful things are happening in our family, as many of my children have come here to work with us, and it is beautiful how they are encountering the Lord in their work.

One thing that has been a great sign to all is Ezekiel's healing and diving back into music again. He was given a harp guitar and I can't wait to play the flute with him. He is quite an accomplished guitarist, with a real heart for Father God and Jesus. Ever since his sickness, his spiritual vision has become much more acute and accurate. Melodies are pouring out of him like water and his joy is contagious.

We are beginning a new YouTube channel called, "Peace of Heart, Dwelling Songs" It's not ready quite yet, so please don't get impatient with me. But we felt the need to begin one to really focus on music for bringing us all closer to the Lord. We wanted to do this on a separate channel, so we could have several playlists of different types of music, but all for glorifying the Lord. We will let you know when it's ready to view. You can pray for that.

Well, my dear Family, I want to share a letter with you from a pastor being plagued with failure by the enemy. And if the Lord is allowing it. there is a good reason, but that doesn't always make it easier. Rob wrote to me crying out for help.

And I sent him a quick reply.

He sent this back to me.

He began, "I didn't mean to come across so erratic in my comment. I just have been getting wave after wave of sickness, panic and discouragement. Being sick all the time is very tough way to live. When I feel good, I'm like a rocket. But I am having so many unexplained health issues it feels like I am losing my mind. Not to mention, when I go to church and during the week, I have the terrible panic attacks and my nerves are so shot. I feel every noise and bang like an earthquake."

This is interesting, because this really parallels with what was going on with Ezekiel. And it's definitely been a suffering for the nation in Rob's case. And also, demonic attacks. This is typical. And I've gotta tell you, Heartdwellers. If you're on this Channel, we get prayed against. YOU get prayed against, as well.

So... I like to have you here, but you'd better be strong spiritually. Because you're gonna get hit. This is exactly like the pattern of sicknesses that have hit Ezekiel in many different ways.

He goes on to say, "I feel every noise and bang like an earthquake. I am all my boys have and I'm only 39. But to be honest, some nights I wonder if I will die in my sleep. I know it has to be demonic..."

Yep. That's right.

"...it's just not natural sickness. Not just the multiple panic attacks and the deep loneliness, but monumental stress that is taking its toll.

"Also, there's the physical side. My body on the inside heats up and my hands feel like fire on my palms. I get pressure in my head and I have been having migraines weekly. I have also been having dreams that the doctor is telling me I am going to die. That I have terminal cancer."

I just want to take a moment here and mention that my daughter--my little grandson--was getting very, very sick. And we couldn't explain what it was. And her guardian angel told her that it was in his bedroom. So, she went in the bedroom and looked high and low. She couldn't figure out what it was. And she came back and said, "Please tell me. What is it?"

And he told her, "Lift up your bed. Life up your boy's bed."

So, she went and lifted it up. Underneath that bed was a huge spot of mold. And she had looked under that bed several times. But she'd never noticed the mold. When she cleaned it up, his migraines and unexplained fevers stopped.

So, that's definitely something to watch out for. Not only is it a spiritual attack, but they can be using something like mold. So, we want to watch out for that, as well.

When he talks about losing his mind, yeah. That's another thing the enemy wants to do. He definitely wants us to feel like we're losing our minds.

"More than once, the dreams were vivid. And I use the binding prayer. But I'm terrified of dying and going to Hell. I am terrified of something happening to my boys, or me not being around to take care of them. I am just buckling under the pressure. Feeling this way makes me feel so angry and irritable all the time, and my quality of life is so bad, it's effecting my boys and they deserve better than a sickly, irritable, angry dad.

"I have come a long way's with the Lord, but I struggle with loneliness and sometimes I fall with self-pleasure. It is so hard to go full steam ahead for the Lord when I can't hear Him or spend time with Him and I am ashamed all the time--so I avoid rhemas most of the time, as well.

"I am so scared of the doctor that I don't even want to go anymore. It's been 2 years. Lastly, I have been having lung issues. It started 2 days ago and it's like they are really burning, so I've been panicking. I asked for help, because I get so scared and don't want to die.

"I hate to bother you, but I been listening for 3 years almost now and I don't know what else to do.

"Well, I know this was an extremely long reply, but if I could stop panicking and feel better, I could accomplish so much more for the Kingdom. Plus, I need the Lord close and I am sure He is done with me.

"Well, thank you for the email. It made this terrible day a bit better. Please tell Jesus I love Him and I'm sorry I failed Him." 

Wow. This is such a typical thing that's going on with him. People feeling like the Lord is 'done' with them. Oh, I know that one! I've been struggling with that recently. The condemnation is just so heavy on this soul. And there's just pounds of it being released on people. Everywhere. A wave of condemnation is sweeping across the world, and it's bringing people down. To the point where they feel alienated from the Lord.

Nothing could be further from the Truth. As I address this, I explain to him what I see happening. The other thing that he's saying, "I could accomplish so much more for the Kingdom if I were well."

Yeah... That's NOT the economy of Suffering. You have no idea what things were accomplished while you were suffering. I know that the Lord told Ezekiel that he was doing more for Him, and more for the Kingdom when he was sick than he'd done in his entire life in good health! So, that's pretty amazing.

So, I answered him, and I said: First of all, the Lord IS NOT DONE WITH YOU!! Second of all, He only gives these kinds of trials to his favorite servants. There is no explanation for this in 'normal' Christianity. You're going to have to go deeper. 

First, I would read John Ramirez' book "Unmasking the Devil" and also "Armed and Dangerous". These two books have prayers for you to use against the demons. John knows his stuff and loves the Lord with all His heart.

But He's calling you deeper, Rob. You wouldn't be getting this kind of resistance if you were not a threat. You've been raised like most Christians, to think that God is displeased with you. LIE. LIE. LIE!

He stands at your right hand and cries over what you are suffering. He wants to help, to calm and love you, to restore you, to assure you and to use you. He is allowing trials right now, but they will come to an end at the appointed time. 

All you can do is submit to them humbly and tell Him, "I love you, Jesus. If this is the cross You need me to carry, please give me the grace to do it. Please...."  He loves this kind of submission to all He allows in your life. 

I don't know who you are suffering for. (Except definitely the Nation. Your boys, your church. But God is using it to release more and more graces in the lives of others. The hardest part is loving and dying to oneself when we don't even know if we are bearing fruit. 

(Boy, that IS rough!)

He promised that He will not allow you to be tried beyond your capacity to resist; that He will provide a way out. Right now, you may also be sharing and carrying Simon's Cross for America. Everything is SO critical for our nation! He needs every intercessor to carry a very heavy cross as a fast offering to reform this nation. 

Whoever you are praying for is also getting gains from these trials. One thing John says is that Satan tries to strip you of your identity, so you will lose your destiny. If your destiny is to be a pastor, he will try to take it away from you.

The Lord may be calling you to teach your congregation to be transparent, by example. I know for one thing He is cleaning out any pride or vainglory by putting you so far down you can barely get up. He always cleans out His vessels unto honor before He fills them with the choicest wines. Pastors feel best when the status quo is not rocked. But that can spiritually stagnate the growth--true, spiritual growth--of your church.  

One reason people love our Channel is they see themselves in my foolishness and then they see how much God loves me anyway. That's why I told you at the start: THE LORD IS NOT DONE WITH YOU. But He IS preparing you for new levels. He's cleaning out the old residue and bringing you down to the rock bottom, so He can raise you up and fill you with the finest wine.

And that point, I asked the Lord: Do You have a word for him, Jesus?

Jesus began, "Hold on for dear life, My Son. Hold on to Me with all you have. This will not go on forever. I am indeed cleaning out the old to make room for the new. Submit to the indignancy of these trials with FAITH that I have allowed them for your spiritual growth. Do not be ashamed to share your struggles with those you pastor. They need to be jarred out of complacent Christianity and get real. The devil is fighting for keeps, and what you go through, your flock will also go through. So, you are paving the way. And as you handle your trials, so too will they handle theirs.

"I am asking you to lead, not by being crushed into oblivion--but by being honest about the attacks and rising above them with FAITH that I am with you and will not allow you to be tried beyond your capacity.  You do not know your capacity until you reach your end. And since I am continually supporting you, there is always a safety net under your 'end.'

"Rise up and know that I am with you. Draw your trusted prayer warriors together and be honest with them. Have them hold you up in prayer and fasting and DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, RECEIVE A WORD THAT I AM DISPLEASED WITH YOU. LIE. LIE. LIE. I am highly pleased with you, and therefore I am preparing you for the next level of ministry. But first, the old leaven must come out. And for that, there is much humbling. 

"I am not upset with your falls. Rather, I forgive you and hold you by your right hand to help you get up again. People who think this is chastisement are misunderstanding My ways. Rather, I am pruning you, so you may bring forth more fruit."

And that was the end of His message to Rob.

And I want to mention here, too. The devils give you all kinds of lying symptoms, to make you think you have a terrible disease. They want you to go into agreement with that, so they can plant it in your body. So, you have to resist that with everything you have, and call those lying symptoms OUT. And not fall for them. Because that's what they're trying to do. Even through the nightmares, they are trying to get you to agree that you're very, very sick, to open the door for sickness.

Also, Rob, so many are going through--this just like Ezekiel. And I have shared openly on our Channel all about that. And they have nothing but more love and compassion for me, and relate to what I am suffering in their own sufferings. 

I highly recommend that you listen to Kari Jobe's song: "Here"  &  "It's all about You" by Charlotte Laystrom. "Oh, Daddy God" by Dominic Chin. And "Prevail" by Freddy Haylor. "Save Me" by Gateway. Another Gateway song, "You Are For Me". That's a wonderful song by Kari Jobe. "All He Says I Am" by Cody Carnes. And "Empty Fears" by me. It's on my playlist: Clare's Music on YouTube.

These songs will minister to you, sweetheart. Let me know how you are doing. 

Also, if there is any--and I mean ANY--tiny speck of judgment or unforgiveness against anyone: ministers on the net, your dad, your congregation. ANYONE. RENOUNCE IT!! Repent for any judgment and renounce it. Keep your ears open to Holy Spirit in case He needs to get your attention. Sometimes we open doors for demons by judgment or a critical spirit.

We will all be praying for you dearest.  Love, Clare.

Well, I sent that out and the next day I got a beautiful reply from him. It started out:

"PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

"Thank you soooooo much for what you did on my behalf. Not only did the Lord renew my strength and HEAL MY BODY INSTANTLY. He broke the chains of worthlessness that have plagued and tormented me all my life. I am so honored and grateful for what you did for me."

Sweetheart, I didn't do anything but just give you what the Lord gave me. So, ALL the gratitude goes to Him for sure!

He continued, "And I am not alone. Not only is Jesus with me in a major way, all the people that prayed for me truly made me feel not alone anymore. I am so thankful, and sobbed as I read every word. I am so happy, it's indescribable. I know there will be other trials and suffering, but I have truly found my Jesus. I want to tell you that.

"Please tell everyone that the Lord has intervened. God Bless You and I pray for you and Carol and Ezekiel and the Heartdwellers and Sherry. I love you all so much.  Rob."

That's a beautiful letter. And he's so welcome. And it all comes from the Lord. And I'm continually amazed how the Lord uses my ashes to turn things beautiful! It's so amazing.

Well, my dear Family. Again, I want to thank you for supporting us and taking care of us. And for your prayers, especially. I hope you're all rejoicing with me over Ezekiel. And you're gonna be hearing some of his music, soon. We will see to that!

The Lord bless you, Heartdwellers. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful Family.

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