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I Am Pruning in My Vineyard
I Am Pruning in My Vineyard
May the Lord impart great courage and wisdom to us who are going through trials. May we come forth strong, with new growth, putting forth the most choice grapes.
My dear Heartdwellers, I really wanted to put out a message every day, but the last two days have been very emotionally difficult. A LOT of repenting. It seems the Lord has gone into the Panther's lair in order to clear out the corruption in my heart.
I have been struggling with having my own way for two days now, and every time I see that I cannot, it stings, burns, aches and is so very frustrating! I am learning the depth of my depravity when it comes to the things of the world, even though they are so very tiny in comparison to what I could be distracted or run after.
I received a very good rhema from Mother Theresa - a quote from her. "Once the longing for money comes, the longing also comes for what money can give: superfluities, nice rooms, luxuries at table, more clothing, fans and so on. Our needs will increase, for one thing brings another, and the result will be endless dissatisfaction. This is how it comes."
And that was a rhema, I think I got about three days ago, when the Lord was trying to get my attention.
The Lord Jesus began, "You are going through a purification of heart and attachments. I know it is painful, but you are releasing parts of the world that are like sediment in the bottom of your heart. Things you inherited from your mother, your own desire nature; things that poison the spiritual life and dilute your effectiveness in serving Me.
"I know it is painful."
And I answered the Lord, 'Yeah, it feels like I'm having a cow!'
"That's the effect of accumulated worldly desires you've never quite released all the way. Yes, you could call it a stronghold. It has many tentacles stretching to every area of your life. I'm removing them, Clare, but first you must renounce them."
Yeah, guys. I've spent a lot of time renouncing my self-will, telling the Lord, 'I don't want this anymore!'
"I am taking them away, and you're having to confront their influence over you is part of the letting go process. They have hindered you all your life. They have twisted your walk when it could have been straighter and accomplished so much more. The enemy has used them to side-track and distract you.
"I know how painful it is. That's why I told you to meditate on My hands, My feet and My side. Because I suffered those pains to purchase you out from among the world's ways that so dominated your thinking. You have had many purgings, but this one is designed to be your last; that's one reason why it is so painful day after day."
Yeah - you'd think I'd get over it, for Pete's sake...
"My love, when you feel like pursuing the things I told you to give away, you are looking into the jaws of the monster, and the very power that can derail your destiny if you allow it. The ONLY way to deal with it is complete and final renunciation of self-will."
And you know, guys? I could really feel that, when I realized that I had made a mistake in discernment and He didn't want me using essential oils. I couldn't go through and say, 'Well, you can keep this, and you can give that away.' I had to just take everything and put it in a box and take it out of the house until the midwife that I'd given it to could come by and pick it up. I had to get it out of my sight. And it was like... I don't know how to describe it, but it was like I cut through ALL the attachments that I had and just DID it. It was like I numbed myself and just said, 'This has got to be the way it is. I can't afford to think about this or that or can I have this, or can I have that. Nope - the whole things gotta go.'
So, that's what He meant when He said, "You are looking into the jaws of the monster, and the very power that can derail your destiny if you allow it to. The ONLY way to deal with it is complete and final renunciation of self-will." And that's what I had to do.
"Not that this is the last test of your life," Jesus continued. "Far from it. But this is a big one, designed to break this stronghold. As you know, you are ready for deliverance when you have overcome the temptations of the enemy in a certain area and you've gotten to the point where you DON'T WANT IT anymore. This is a good sign, breaking with it and declaring you don't want it is a good indicator that if I removed the demonic oppression elements of the stronghold, you will be delivered. Finally.
"It is going to take a while to build up resolve that you refuse to say yes to this vice. A very little while, but I want you to be brave and courageous, because the rewards I have for you are far beyond the sacrifice you are making."
And I realized in my prayer time, that one of the things the Lord was asking me to do was to give up something that was licit, and permissible - but was not optimum for me. It's almost like making the choice between eating bread and drinking water and having a full meal with dessert. I mean, I could have the full meal with dessert, if I wanted it. It would be against His will, but I could have it. But...choosing the bread and water was choosing HIS will. And it is a sacrifice, so it does count as an offering, for whatever is going on in the world that we're praying for.
Jesus continued, "Yes, I made beauty to be enjoyed. But for a soul consecrated to the service of God there must be a strict adherence to the movement of My Spirit, without any hint of self-interest. If you have known this freedom in the past and you will know it again, I promise you. I have begun this work and I will finish it. But I acknowledge to you, Clare - it is painful. The more entrenched it is within you, the more painful the sacrifice of casting it away.
"My dear, dear Love, I am asking you to be inebriated in My presence, My beauty alone. I know at times it is difficult to find that place of peace where the contemplation of divine truths and My being are all that matters to you. But you see, I need that space inside of you to be filled with My Spirit. There is not enough room when the sludge and sediment of this world has built up layer upon layer upon layer."
And when He said that, I also remembered another rhema that I got, "If we do not choose to mortify our passions, we may live in fear and doubt everything. Focus and deny yourself what is not necessary."
I mean, over the past five days or so, I have gotten so many warning rhemas that I just...breezed right through! The rhema ended by saying 'focus and deny yourself what is not necessary.' At that point I saw a red heart. The interior chamber of this heart was over half full of mud!!
He continued, "Yes, we are draining the swamp in your heart, so you have so much more room for Me and My love for souls. So much more room! How beautiful indeed is the heart that has been freed from years of corruption through self-will and avarice. You could rightly say that the sludge you see is made up of all the things of the world you have sought after that lodged in your heart, but then began to decay and make layers of dense brown goo. When that is gone, I will fill you with living waters and you will flow with My Spirit, the way you have longed to.
"You have spoken many times before about feeling blocked. Well now you are seeing it in real time. The power of My Love is supposed to swirl around in your heart like a crystal clear river, but now it runs slow like an old muddy river. And that is why you've encountered so much opposition to holding the fire of My love and pouring it out to others through your work. You struggle much with these old strongholds in your life, and My heart is to free you from them.
"Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, all the wonderful things I have in store for you, once there is room for them in your heart. When I called you to this life, you saw yourself on a dusty road in the Middle East, walking beside Me in sandals, with almost nothing but your tunic. That was a picture of the greatest purity and detachment of heart and soul from the world. One cannot walk if they are carrying so many things; one must walk without a load, with only the most necessary things in a tiny satchel.
"But living in a house, you have accumulated much and a taste for much. And that is simply not necessary and in fact, is an impediment to your freedom. No. I don't want you to go and throw it all out. But I do care for you to ignore anything that is not necessary for ministry. In this way your, heart will be free and clear of clutter. Less is MORE. Less of the world is MORE of Me.
"Now, as you continue to walk with your heart circumcised, you will still encounter traps laid for you and tests. Be vigilant, Clare. When I tell you to be watchful, (that's a rhema that He'd given me) I mean it! There is trouble coming and you're not recognizing it. Mostly because your initial discernment was poor. When you feel a check in your spirit, you know you are being warned, no matter how you interpret the Scriptures I give you in readings.
"When you feel any kind of check - RUN from it. Don't entertain it and find out what size, shape or colors it comes in!!! RUN from it. Flush it and move on, it's a trap. And it has teeth! And those teeth will cut into you and hurt you. Once more, the wound will become infected and hurt even more.
"When I warn you to be watchful, you have already taken a step towards that trap cleverly laid and covered over at your feet to look like something really innocent. And I promise you, the treatment for those injuries will be something you don't ever want to repeat.
"What is permitted for you is far less than what is permitted for other souls who are not given the task of shepherding. A shepherd carries the bare essentials - only a few things to sustain him. He does not have a wagon following behind him loaded to the hilt with things he enjoys. Rather, he carries medicine for the sheep, a weapon for lions and bears, a bit of food and water - because his entire being is wrapped around the needs of the flock.
"Anything extra he has can cause him to be distracted at the wrong time, while the lion is stalking his sheep. And he will be so caught up in this distraction that disaster will follow. By the time he sees it, several sheep are already scattered, wounded, lost and dead. This has already happened to you, My Love.
"So, now I address My most precious Brides. If you are being called up higher, it is time to leave the things of the world behind. The concerns about what you shall eat, wear and live. These things will snag you if you allow them to. All around you are people who need a touch from Me. Be an encourager, wherever you go. Think not of yourself, but of others around you. There will be times when I quicken people to you and you are inspired to reach out to them.
"If you are a mother or father, minister to your family first, then teach your children how to pray for the poor, how to give to those in crisis. How to feed the poor, how to be kind and non-judgmental to those they see - even if they are ragged and poor. Remind them frequently of the Proverbs to help them balance their thinking and grow in wisdom. There is so much you can do to form your children in Me before they are released into the world. And truly, this is your first ministry after your husband.
"But for the rest of you, no one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer. 2 Timothy 2:4
"When you find the area I have given into your hands to invest your talents, be starkly critical of anything that gets in the way of that, even as it is written:
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way as to take the prize. Everyone who competes in the games trains with strict discipline. They do it for a crown that is perishable, but we do it for a crown that is imperishable. I Corinthians 9:24-25
"I know it is difficult to leave your fancies behind, in favor of being collected in prayer and action. I know that sometimes you need a walk in the sun, a nap, or something fresh and clean to listen to for inspiration.
"But, My dear ones, try to limit those occasions as much as you can and learn to derive great joy when I use you to touch another soul. Soak in that moment and know that your reward in Heaven is secure. And as you become more and more faithful with each minute granted you in your life, I expand your influence and enrich you with greater anointing.
"And for you, My Clare, know that every branch that bears fruit, I prune in order for you to bring forth even more fruit. The cutting away is never pleasant, but the yield is tremendous and well worth it.
"Persevere, My doves. Do not grow weary. Wait, just wait until you see the reward I have stored up in Heaven for each of you! But so that you do not grow weary in the meantime, you who have given your all; you who have fought the good fight against your vices - with you I am highly pleased and you shall enter into your Master's joy."
And as a final note, I had another rhema I wanted to share with you.
"The world and all it contains is nothing to the one for whom God is everything!" Amen.
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