Top 10 Ways to Virtue Signal Today

3 years ago
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In this video you will learn ten of the best ways you can virtue signal today.

You'll want to stick around ‘til the end of this video to learn how to avoid a multistate game of capture the flag!

Today, we’re going to combine two things the internet loves -- being better than other people and tier lists. Be sure to stick around to the end of the video to learn about the top tier virtue signals that’ll make you look like a saint on your Facebook profile.

Don’t believe me? If you’re a man, you’d better believe it because there’s a feminist cafe out there that’ll charge you more… just for being a man! What better way to show you believe in equality between the sexes than by charging them differently for the same item?

Not good enough for you? Then just wait until the end of the video to learn about the epic saga between a celebrity actor, a bunch of internet trolls, and a game of capture the flag that spanned the entire United States!

For this tier list, we consider anything that, according to Dictionary dot com, shares one's point of view on a political issue in order to acknowledge one’s righteousness, or to passively rebuke others, to be virtue signaling.

Scraping the bottom of the barrel at number ten, in F tier we have “I voted!” stickers, cousins to the “I donated blood!” stickers.

Pretty harmless things and may encourage people to go to the polls or help feed their local vampire. When I was in high school, I was so jealous of people with these stickers -- it meant they got to skip class, and I didn’t!

Number nine in E tier are five of the most useless words you could possibly say -- “I have a black friend,”. Okay, and? Is Emperor Nero suddenly a “woke king” because he owned black slaves along with white ones? This is the same energy as saying, “No offense,” before saying something incredibly offensive.

Our eighth virtual signal is also in E tier. We all know the feeling when you open up Instagram one day, and your page is flooded with this.

Suddenly, people are telling the internet how their great grandmother’s college roommate was in the Black Panthers and posting their 23andMe results saying they’re 0.03% Ugandan. You check their page a week later after all of this has blown over, and, surprise, the post is deleted. How many black people must die before you get off your ass and change something?

Coming in at number seven is a D tier move -- wearing political clothing after an election. This one takes conscious effort to stick out from the crowd, which is why it’s in D tier. If you haven’t seen one of these people in the wild, you’re lucky, or maybe you just don’t live in America, where we treat politics like sports teams. I have personally seen a guy wear this “I’m with her,” shirt years after the election, that she lost.

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