Spiritual Jealousy

Spiritual Jealousy

Well, my dearest Heartdwellers, since the Lord gave us a warning about jealousy, I thought I'd share my brush with that ugly demon.

We have a friend of the channel who has many spiritual gifts and often shares some of her truly amazing stories with us. We have even benefited many times from her prayers.

I love her dearly and she is one who was terribly abused as a child, twisted in her formative years by parents that were over-achievers and put heavy loads of condemnation on her. When she recounts these amazing things to me, I think to myself, 'Gee, Lord, I'd love to do some of the things that she's doing!'

And as a result of that, one little spark, one little desire to be someone other than who God has made me, I could feel an assault on my gut. A churning of sorts and I soon realized it was a demon of jealousy trying to gain entry. I even told Ezekiel, my husband, "Honey, I feel like I'm being attacked." He replied, "I see a big, ugly, green frog-like demon called Jealousy, trying to gain entry into your soul."

Immediately, I renounced it and the attack stopped. And in that moment, I rejoiced for the good the Lord was doing in that soul and thanked Him for who He made me to be.

Such a deep and undisturbed peace set in and ever since then my heart has been able to rejoice in the accomplishments of that soul and others, who seemingly have much greater gifts. This place of peace is a warm, fuzzy place of affirmation that is supportive of all Holy Spirit wants to do through His Brides and leaves absolutely no room for feeling threatened by their accomplishments. If all of us look at the good in one another and refuse to enter into jealousy, we are supporting Holy Spirit in His wonderful works and cheering on those who are highly gifted.

For every gift there is a price, and for every price the soul must die to itself and give their all. How wonderful to see that example in others...it spurns us on to give up more for our sweet Jesus. For every ministry there are challenges and all the glory goes to God for those He enabled to cooperate with them. As the Scripture says, if you see good imitate it. (that's in the third letter of John)

Wanting to be like someone else is a terrible deception. You would never be happy living their life, it wouldn't fit you like a glove. The Lord said He would make Israel jealous with a nation that was inferior to them. There is such a thing as healthy jealousy. It's the desire to accomplish something that another has persevered and sacrificed for, and its affect on us is to spur us on to give more and more of ourselves to Jesus.

This is one very important reason the Lord has asked us to keep our eyes on Him. We are wet clay, He is the potter and out from His heart, reflected in His eyes, He sees the exquisite object He will form us into with our cooperation. If we abandon ourselves totally to Him, without reservation, He is free to do as He pleases, and His joy is to create masterpieces that reflect the greatness and glory of God in His creation, each one highly unique.

Only He has vision of who you were meant to be. Only He can accomplish it with your cooperation. You may see others who have progressed further in their gift than you have in the very same gift...for instance, for me it would be singing. But sooner or later, through God's eyes you will come to a complete peace about who He created you to be, about what your voice should sound like. And now that I look back on the ministries and vocal ability of other artists I have admired, I actually can say I prefer what the Lord gave me. Nothing in this world is more satisfying than what He is doing in me.

So, if you see a gift or talent in others and it provokes jealousy, the answer is to work harder, correspond harder, cooperate more fully, and become the masterpiece He has created you to be. This gives no place for jealousy to land, rather you will find your joy in the excellence of others!

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Dear Family,
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Love you all so very dearly…you are such a consolation to Ezekiel and I.
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