Warrior or Lover for Christ

Warrior or Lover for Christ

The Lord bless you with His sweet presence Heartdwellers.

Well, it's been an interesting day. One of our friends told us about a book Regions of Captivity by Anna Mendez Ferrell. And it's a very interesting book, I decided to check it out and get into depth a little bit with it. She goes into some very interesting deliverance experiences. She talks a great deal about fragmented souls and how events in childhood can fragment a soul and keep a soul tied to a place of...torment, really. That's what I would call it. Where demons are present.

And it was a very, very interesting read but it was troubling to me, because it was dark, you know. She was dealing with some very dark stuff. And I like the way she went about it, because she was very much into prayer and worship, entering in to the Secret Place with the Lord before she did anything. And being obedient to what He wanted her to do. And it's obvious that she has a ministry of deliverance.

That's not my ministry. We do it, because we have to sometimes, but that's not something that I need to go chasing after, so to speak.

The book had an impact on me and I shared that with the Lord.

I said:

Lord I don't know what to say about this book, it's so powerful and my heart is aching so much. Jesus, I don't want to go to those dark regions, but I want to set the captives free and be a restorer of ruined homesteads. Lord what am I to think?

And He answered me, "Peace. Peace, Clare." He put His hand over my heart. "Peace. Peace in your troubled heart, your troubled soul. Peace. These are regions of darkness and they are terrible places. Most people do not operate in the fullness of their spirits because of what the enemy has done to them. You are one of those, Clare, that's why it is so troubling to you."

And I said, "But I know Ezekiel is, too, Lord."

"Yes, in a much worse way than you. That is true. What do you think I make of this suffering?"

Knowing You, You always bring good out of suffering... but is it Your will to continue to allow this kind of torment?

"What do you think?"

It's up to the individual soul and what they are willing to offer You. But You came to set the captives free? Oh Lord, I'm confused.

"Don't be, I haven't changed a thing. What I have allowed, though dreadfully painful, is nonetheless working to bring forth a harvest of righteousness.

"In some cases, where the oppression is extreme, I release the captives. In others, where the soul is functioning, it becomes like an investment; a portion of your life set aside that is earning interest that will be cashed in when I take you home to Myself. Oh, Clare, you know and understand so well the mechanics of redemption - not just the saving of the soul but their sanctification as well. Are you going back on what I have taught you?"

I always want to remain open to deeper truths You might want to reveal to me, my Beloved.

"Yes and I do love that about you." He said, "What you have learned is the ultimate truth: deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow Me. Are you doing that?"

To some degree.

"Well, what I mean is, are you operating in what I have taught you?"

Yes, Lord. I believe so.

"Good, then steady as she goes. Not all are called to this deliverance ministry. Clare, haven't you figured it out yet, you're not a warrior, you're a lover?

"I created you to love and through your love, I work the miracles. Yes, yes, I know what you will say, that it is My love at work through you - and that is true enough. But your cooperation in the outpouring of My heart upon others - well, that is a sublime gift and I do not want you to veer to the right or the left. Keep your heart purely for Me, tend to Me, Clare. Meet My needs."

And what He's talking about there is worship. Worship and keeping Him company, just being there for the Lord above all other things. You know, there's conquests that we can go on, there's all kinds of things we can do for the Lord. But the one thing that He values SO much, aside from setting the captives free, because that's part of our job as Christians - is our company. Our loving company and being there, being present to Him.

He continued, "There is a point where you become impervious to these things...you have seen it in certain saints and martyrs of old. It is called total surrender to whatever I allow. When the soul rivets their loving gaze on Me, all that is going on around them they know to be allowed by Me and it makes no difference to them, because they are so in love with Me. They reason, 'Whatever You allow, My Holy God. Nothing could be more perfect than what You have allowed.'

"Thus the fight is gone and conquered by love alone. Do you understand?"

I could not answer. I was struggling with my own interior pain.

"You needn't answer, My Love. You know My ways well indeed. Acquiescence is everything."

I thought, 'I'm not sure what that means.' So, I looked it up for a more thorough understanding. And the definition says: "Passive assent or agreement without protest. To accept, agree, or allow something to happen by staying silent or by not arguing. To submit or comply silently or without protest; agree; consent."

So, how do I know when to pray and when to stay silent?

"By My Spirit, as in all things, obedience."

I fear I have failed You then, Lord - because I pray for my husband's relief all the time.

"And I honor your prayers, because of your love for him and for Me."

But am I depriving him then of the sacrifice of the offering that's he's making of himself?

"Not really, the pain will come back."

So, what's the use in me praying?

"Temporary relief, a respite. I am not a slave driver that I should continually allow suffering. It is good for him to get relief and see your love in action. Or should I say, My love working through you, in action.

"It's like a dance. Sometimes you move forward, then backwards and side to side. It is the variety that makes life rich and interesting. If one were to be always moving forward, they would soon be bored...no challenge in that. But with ups and downs your life becomes richer and fuller. As it is written, there is a time and a season for everything under heaven."

But Heaven is constant forward motion and it is never boring, right?

"In Heaven, it is another kind of dance, a dance of joy, worship and eternal thanksgiving for the living wonders of God through the fabric of your now supernatural life. You have served your term, so to speak. You have sought your higher ground, and now you are graduated into supreme bliss. But what good you have done on Earth goes on and on and on, continuing to bring forth fruit.

"It is all very much of a mystery. Try to content yourself in knowing that My ways are not your ways, and in all things you need not know how they work; they just work and you don't question because you trust. Just as you trust that when you turn the light switch, the light comes on. Trust also that when you pray, things happen, grace pours forth, everything proceeds from God and Our divine plan. Oh when will I ever get you to just accept and relax My Love?"

I answered Him kinda wobbly..."Never???"

"Probably so. Yes...you do have an enquiring mind. Just make sure you don't ask out of insecurity thinking that perhaps My ways are not best. Rather ask because you enjoy learning about Me."

I love learning about You, Lord.

And that's the end of the message.

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Dear Family,
We now have a blog just for you to post your experiences and read about others who are coming into intimate relationship with Jesus. We'd love to hear about Him touching you at prayer time, or visions you have had with Him, going to Heaven, etc.
Love you all so very dearly…you are such a consolation to Ezekiel and I.
Clare

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