Count the Cost (Of An Intimate Relationship with Jesus)

Count the Cost (Of An Intimate Relationship with Jesus)

The Lord Jesus bless you with His peace.

Well, the Lord has a LONG message tonight and instruction for us. I think the reason being, is so many people are clamoring to have this relationship with Him that I have. And He wants you to have this relationship, so He's going to give you an instruction tonight that I think will really clarify some things for you.

So, the evening began, the Lord hasn't begun a message yet, but I noticed last night when I began to share with all of you my experience with Him, when I was done, He began His message. So onward and upward, I'm gonna do that again.

Tonight, again I was feeling like a barrier to intimacy has been brought down. I worshipped for quite some time bringing all of you into the throne room and praying for your needs and a blessing for you. When I finally settled down and began to relax with Jesus, we were swaying gently to "I Surrender All" by Terry McAlmon. It's interesting because I woke up singing that song, and I couldn't think of what I hadn't surrendered. But I was ready to surrender it, whatever it was.

After about 5 interruptions, I finally connected with Him in a beautiful, beautiful way. Again, it was His eyes looking at me with such tenderness that I could do nothing but melt. Then I began to feel very, very inebriated with His love. I took a chance. I relaxed and looked into His eyes for a long time, totally relaxed, totally at home. This has never happened before. I've always had a little apprehension, but tonight I forced myself to ignore it and just gaze into His eyes.

It reminded me of something that Ezekiel and I experienced in our first days, when we were contemplating a relationship, or we knew we were called together. When Ezekiel and I realized God had brought us together, we were sitting in the back of the van that I had, and old green van - with the doors open watching the children play in a stream. And the energy between us was so sweet and deep you could cut it with a knife. We just lingered there, hardly saying a word or making a movement for at least an hour. We were just really aware of this really sweet, sweet presence. Even today we make reference to "sitting in the back of the van."

Well, that's what it was like with Jesus. I trusted Him with who I am, I didn't recoil or try to hide because of my lowliness - I just allowed Him to love me the way I am.

I said to Jesus, "You know me inside out and backwards, all my faults, my thoughts, my shortcomings and vices, so I have no reason to shy away from looking into your eyes."

And as I continued to gaze into those loving eyes I felt so at home in His arms, like "This is so right, so natural, so completely relaxed and safe. I don't need to hide from the All Holy One, He already knows me and my doings, and He is comfortable, relaxed and safe in my arms, too."

Wow, what a milestone that was for me. No more running, hiding or nervousness, just the comfort of the One who knows and loves me unconditionally. Someone I could share my Frappe and biscotti with, someone I could talk about the kid's muddy jeans with and figure out how we were going to get them back in the van without getting it dirty. WOW - what a connection and milestone this was for me!

He simply said, "I've been waiting for this for so long. Waiting for when you would just accept just Me, unconditionally, as your other half, truly your husband."

And I thought to myself, ' I hope this won't make Ezekiel jealous'. But later when I went to take a nap I told him, "Honey, come lay down with Jesus and I, it feels like the back of the van." He just told me to stay in that sweet place with the Lord and he came in here to answer comments on our videos, 'cause we only have one Mac now and have to share it. He knows what that feels like because he, too, has experienced that gentle, familiar, love with Jesus.

And I realized, we get a lot of flak because of what we are sharing with you. I had one guy the other day call me a wicked woman, taking all the attention for myself and playing up to the adoring crowd. I had to laugh and thought, 'You really didn't get it, did you? This is about you, not me! These souls on our channel are seeing how real Jesus is and that they can have that relationship with Him too.' That's what we're here for, to show everyone how easy it is if you are willing to give Him your whole heart and cut everything else out in your life that is empty and useless. So, if any of you are "adoring fans," please get your focus back. How many times do I have to tell you how wretched I am?

Well, I just realized, in this position with the Lord what was going on. I realized, you know... prophets get a word of knowledge; they hear and see the Lord. Why can't we hear and see the Lord as in a relationship like Bride and Groom? John the Beloved rested his head on Jesus' heart, so why can't we??? I realized, the Lord loves to give a word, but He doesn't want to be seen merely as a slot machine spitting out fortune cookies. He wants us to love to be with Him, not for the words that we get, but for Who He is to us, and for Who He is period.

So if John can do it, we can do it - AMEN....

At that point, I kinda ran out of things to say, and the Lord said very softly and gently:

"Do you want Me to speak now?"

Oh, Yes Lord, please.

"What you have discovered tonight is the true secret of happiness. All roads lead to home, right here." He pointed to His Heart. "That emptiness, that vacuum that all of you are experiencing, that intense desire for the Rapture... all of you are longing for this simple one-on-one loving relationship, where we are forever together and even at death (for those who will die) even more so. So we will never, ever be separated. There may be times when you hurt Me, and I am very quiet, but other than that I need and want to be with you, accepted by you as the love of your life. Someone you can trust with being relaxed and your true self. There may be times of sacrifice when you do not hear or see me, because I am using your suffering to help another soul. But this relationship is that God-shaped place within you: no one, no thing, ever will bring satisfaction to that void that exists in your heart.

"That is why you are longing so much for this relationship that Clare and I have, because I made you to want it. And it is beginning to dawn on you that religion has robbed you of this precious, precious knowledge of Me.

"Yes, this is indeed the time of the Bride coming to her Groom and being wed together in Holy matrimony, so holy that no other human can come between you and I. This place is sacred and reserved only for you and I.

"Many of you have already approached Me in this way, but you still are holding back because of fears. Fear of Me - the Mighty God. Fear of Me - the Judge. Fear of Me - that I desire perfection from you before you dare approach Me.

"Nothing could be further from the truth - you will never reach perfection without Me. It is impossible to you. So you spend your life shunning Me, avoiding Me because of these religious ideas that are lies from the devils. I am speaking to every one of you now: you are afraid of Me on some level; that is the only reason you keep your distance. It is not I that am distant it is you who have put up walls to hide behind.

"Do you see how very pointless this is? Do you see that you need not fear Me? The more you have been injured, the more you will fear Me. You have never known unconditional love. You've never known My love that has no prerequisites before we can be this close. Everyone you have ever known had expectations about you and sooner or later you felt like you let them down. And then you felt not good enough. Do you see, the enemy has over and over again taught you to fear intimacy because it always brings pain along with it. Pain, disappointment, failure and back to the 'I'm not good enough' attitude again.

"I am not a man that you can hide anything from Me. When I come to you, I know things about you that you don't even know. If you did know them, well... you'd be horrified and would never be open to Me, you'd feel so ashamed.

"So get over yourself and come to Me without that religious spirit wagging its finger in your face repeating, 'You're not worthy. Who do you think you are? You, you're a sinner, look what you were thinking ten minutes ago. He is God, He wouldn't dare talk to such as yourself, you are foolish and deceived.' Because that is what is keeping you from Me. Truly, it is a religious spirit."

Lord, what about...

"Jayden?"

Yes.

"Jayden, I love you - but you've never known real love, so you have all these fears. People have put those fears on you by rejecting you over and over again. I know who you are, I know where you stand and where you fall, but I am here to love you into wholeness, to heal your broken heart. You don't have to be good enough for Me - am I good enough for you? Am I someone you can trust? Did you know that My Name is Love, something warm and wonderful, comforting and always there for you no matter what?"

"Religion has taken away the true meaning of having a relationship with Me. When I called Peter, James, and John, they were My sidekicks, My buddies. I walked and talked with them, I ate with them, we slept under the stars together - I was real to them, the way I want to be real with all of you. Religion has put up walls, barriers, conditions. I never meant for that to happen, I always wanted to preserve relationship just as I did with Adam and Eve. I always wanted friendship. I am the most misunderstood person that ever lived on the Earth. Men have taken Who I am and made a monster out of Me.

"Men are the monsters: full of hatred, bitterness, anger - and they projected that onto Me. My nature is gentle, kind, simple, easy to be with. And the only reason My Father came across the way He did was because men's sins were destroying the innocent, murdering children, destroying families, stealing, lying and cheating. Hurting the innocent. Had they lived as I wanted them to I never would have had to wipe them off the face of the Earth.

"But we have a very real enemy: fallen angels, sickly, grotesque, gruesome, wicked and mean bent on hurting men and destroying the Earth. And when men throw in their lot with them, then My Father must step forward and be the just Judge who puts a stop to injustice. That is what Earth is facing now: judgment. But that's not My nature nor My Father's nature. We are gentle, meek and kindly, but men would take advantage of that if We did not punish sin and wickedness.

"So you see, I am not Who the enemy has made Me out to be most of the time. So, come to Me. I am meek and gentle of heart and I will bring rest to your souls. Stop putting up screens and barriers between us. Look into My eyes without shame and see the Love shining out just for you. Take a step in faith, trust that I am Who I have said I am."

At that point, I was getting really sleepy and my eyes were starting to close. And the Lord said:

"Clare, you need to lie down?"

Yes Lord, I am so sleepy.

"Rest with Me, we will come back to this."

Thank you Lord, thank you for understanding.

"You are My wife, should I not care for your needs?"

So that's what I did, I went and laid down and got a good nap. I had no idea this message was going to be this long!

An hour later, "Wow, I feel better. I wonder: if I can sit down after a nap and here You are again...why can't I just sit down and talk with You like this anytime?"

"I never said you couldn't. These are the limitations YOU have put on our relationship, not I. I do love it when we spend worship time together first."

Oh Lord, you know that tonight I didn't even want to come out of worship.

"What I know is that you need Me every day, all the time, to keep that God shaped place filled and purring."

I can't believe you said that!

"Well, isn't that the perrrrfect word?"

Now you're being silly and they will never believe it is truly Jesus Christ I am talking to.

"And you - who do you say I am?"

You are the most wonderful, most charming, kindly, comfy friend I've ever had... and God, to boot.

"I'll receive that as a kiss from My Bride."

So, is there anything else you want to say, Lord?

"Indeed there is. I have waited all your life for us to be together this way. Blessed is the soul who takes up this invitation, sooner than later. You have suffered so much out of ignorance and loneliness, if only we could have been together this way when you were still very little."

Yes, Lord, if only...

"This is why I have brought you as a gift to My precious Brides, so they don't have to wait but can enter in now. No more loneliness, no more aloneness in the decisions of life. I am here at your right hand, by your side and I will always lead you when you ask it of Me.

"The greatest dangers to this relationship are distraction and business. These are the subtle tools Satan uses to slowly and ever so imperceptibly draw you away from Me. He is very cautious to do it slowly, so that you don't notice what is taking place. It begins with projects such as you are facing right now."

Uh-oh. That would be moving an 83 year old woman who is a hoarder with 4 tiny barking dogs out of the front house and other things that need to be done here on the property.

"Yes, you may take this as a warning. However what you have going for you now that you didn't before was responsibility to souls who want to grow closer to Me. Your motherly nature will put the stops on you before you lose what we have right now. But in the past, this is precisely how he stole you away from Me. And I cried Clare, I cried and I cried because I missed you so."

My heart sank and tears welled up in my eyes when He said that.

Oh, God and my best friend... I am so deeply sorry.

"Yes. There is a cost My Brides. Your life will be stripped down to bare necessities and very little pleasures from the outside. This is a price you must be willing to pay. I will convict you of your curiosity and the time you take to indulge it surfing on the internet, while I am at your side waiting. I will convict you of vanity staying in front of the mirror or shopping for preparations to make you look better. I will convict you of time at a salon, and even eating lunch out with a friend, that has no bearing on spiritual growth for either one of you. I will convict you of spending too much time in the kitchen, the garden and compulsive cleaning."

Wow, the Lord just ran down all of my vices right there, the things that I've been struggling with. He's talking about me...

"This is your guide. If you have peace and joy in what you do that is not directly related to Me, then you will know I am with you in that activity. But if you feel a nagging, a tugging by your side, like ; 'I know I shouldn't be doing this ... but....' then I am by your side My Bride, lonely for your company, and if you continue to put Me off, I will cry. You won't see My tears but you will feel something terribly wrong inside. That terrible wrong is the sadness and grief of your God, deep down in your heart."

"You see, I am not an easy catch and I am high maintenance. So, if you really mean it when you say 'I want that kind of relationship with Jesus.' Then you will have to undergo many sacrifices and streamline your time to be with Me. Tell them, Clare, some of the things that you've done."

Well, for instance, my basic day is picking up food for the food bank, and perhaps a short trip to the store, picking up prescriptions, going to the doctor, taking the dogs and cats for a good walk out in the pasture behind our house, dinner, dishes and basic everyday cleaning. Spending time with my husband during a meal or sharing spiritual things, which all adds up to about 4 hours of maintenance. Then in the evenings, maybe 4-6 hours of correspondence with all of you (which I didn't do tonight, by the way, 'cause I wanted to get into the message right away. Good thing I did!) Correspondence with you, our helpers, then worship, listening for the message, recording it and putting it up - which is another four to five hours or so. And in between this, I need 2 naps about 45 min long to rest my body because I have Fibromyalgia.

With the Rapture looming, I've cut out anything like repairing clothing, shopping at the thrift store watching a movie with my husband, or exercise, and cooking my favorite foods. (I love to bake.)

"So your life has changed considerably in the last few months?"

Oh yes, Lord, thank You. I am very happy with this schedule. There have been sacrifices but none of them can compare to being with You, sweet Jesus.

"And so you see, dear Brides, there is much you will have to sacrifice if you have not already streamlined your lives. And I am giving this instruction not just for you, but for those left behind, so they will know what this kind of relationship takes. You will never, for one minute regret leaving these things behind."

That is SO true.

"But as Clare stated earlier and as I warned her a 'big' time consuming project is the perfect time for Satan to use his strategies of distraction to slowly suck the life right out of you by sliding away from Me due to increased activity. So... how do you handle these projects? Easy, you don't. You don't do them unless they are absolutely necessary and you keep up your daily maintenance. Believe it or not, one day of prayer missed is a very serious matter. It's the little foxes that spoil the vine and it begins with just one day at a time. The next day something else pressing steals your prayer time. The next day more things come up and now you are in the habit of putting Me off - and unless you take drastic measures to get back to Me, it's like the tide going out... you're drawn far away from the home in your heart with Me.

"So this is what these sacrifices look like. Happy you will be if you count them as nothing and bring your life into order: God order. It may not happen overnight, but if you work at it every day, I will be with you helping you make the right choices. And when you slide backwards, as Clare inevitably does, I tell her, 'I will help you make better choices with your day tomorrow, My Love.' And we are back on the right track."

You know, when that happened, and I would backslide, I used to feel so awful and I'd start building this wall between us again, because I had shown preference for the world for selfish things, instead of being with Him. And it's not like that anymore. He immediately tells me, "I'll help you make better choices with your day tomorrow." And I feel so good about that. I can come right back to Him.

Well Lord, I can just hear it right now...'what about people who have to work or go to school?'

"I have no easy answer. Again, it is 'how badly' do you want this kind of relationship? Badly enough to change your lifestyle so you have fewer bills or relatively none at all? Is the career you are being educated for truly My will for your life? My perfect will? Or would you be happier in Africa out in the bush bringing souls to Me? Does your work reflect your complete devotion and love for Me? Or is it financial security you are living for?

"You see there is no easy answer. You will get scorn and contempt from the world if you opt out of the world. Are you ready to give an answer - or walk away without an answer to family and relatives who see you as being irresponsible and a loser? Or are you so in love with Me that none of that even matters? Or are you willing to hurt inside and lose the support of family and friends who draw away from you because of your 'foolish' choices? No easy answer."

I can just hear it now, Lord - 'but I'm married!'

"If you are equally yoked that will not be an impediment."

...'I have a good job and great income, I've worked for this position for years, my retirement is secure...'

"You may not be alive next week let alone ten years from now. What could you be doing to build up My kingdom with the skill set you have developed? Or perhaps I have a different plan not using you in what you have cultivated, but using you in something you are totally unprepared for, so you will have to rely strictly on Me to accomplish it."

I want to take an aside here and just mention to you. From my experiences as a nationally published nature photographer 30 years ago... You would not allow me to get near a camera after I dedicated my life to You.

"Yes, that's true - because you reeked of the world every time you picked up a camera and I couldn't stand the stench."

LOL Yup. I figured that out.

"In its stead, I gave you the gift of music and teaching."

Oh, I love the gifts you've given me, Lord.

"I knew what I had created you for My Love, and I knew you would love this work, and you were willing to completely die to the past - so you came to Me empty and I filled you with My will."

"Oh, how many are willing to give it all up??? How many? Count the cost. I'm not an easy catch, I am very high maintenance... but the benefits are out of this world. I love you all My aspiring Brides, and as you empty yourselves of yourself, I will fill you with Myself. For those who would save their lives will lose them, but those who would lose them for Me, well... they shall indeed save them."

"Go now and consider deeply the cost. I will be waiting by your side to hear your decision. You have only to ask and I will help you.

"I have given you My Heart, My life. I have given you My Spirit. Now, what are you willing to give Me?"

And at that point, that was the end of the message.

Well, I'm going to step out here and say that if you want to serve Him with your life, until He takes us in the Rapture, I highly recommend you join a group like Youth With A Mission or even Iris Ministries, and get training. Striking out on your own is only an option if you are strongly led of the Lord and know beyond a shadow of a doubt what your work will be. Other than that, I wouldn't strike out on my own.

And just so no one freaks out ... this message is not only for us right now, it is for the generations to come. Even in the millennium, this message may touch the hearts of many. So don't think for one moment that I am saying it's going to be years before the Rapture. I don't believe that. But the essence of this message is 'Less of me, More of Jesus'. Dying to what I want personally, living only for Jesus.

I bless you all and pray the Lord flood you with His peace and wisdom. Amen.

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Dear Family,
We now have a blog just for you to post your experiences and read about others who are coming into intimate relationship with Jesus. We'd love to hear about Him touching you at prayer time, or visions you have had with Him, going to Heaven, etc.
Love you all so very dearly…you are such a consolation to Ezekiel and I.
Clare

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