The Cost and Reward of the Call

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**30 People Who Have Sadly Died By Suicide": https://youtu.be/jOprMA3PiBg

Today I poured myself out from my deepest heart. It was not compulsory, nor a work of the flesh. It was from my heart that is connected to the heart of Jesus Christ. I say this with a humble confidence because I know Him, and I know when He is moving. It is unmistakable. I woke up this morning with an overt penetrating sense within myself to give. To give myself away on the behalf of Jesus Christ. I felt that every little service to my family was being done from a place within myself that was freshly opened and new. It was as if I was literally doing everything towards the Lord.

As I went on, that giving of myself away was growing and intensifying. The best way I can put it, was more like His life in mine. A source other than myself. It was like everything that had a dull haze over it became a blessing of newness. I saw that my life was meant for Jesus Christ. A demonstration of His love outpoured in everything to everyone. A little while later, I went to do a some work answering emails. I saw a video sent to me by a friend, a compilation of thirty people who committed suicide. Along with their pictures, was a brief story about who they were. One was a little eight year old boy who cast himself off the building, which was his house. He had been terribly abused my his parents. Apparently, that beautiful little child chose to die and killed himself.

As I watched this video I felt the power of the Holy Spirit well up within me and I cried out in my mind, "Lord what am I doing! What is my life!" It seemed as if I could then see in a vision a great ocean before me filled up with drowning people. They were screaming for help. It was night, and only me and perhaps a couple of others swimming around them trying to save them. I saw that they were only seconds from death and going into an eternity without Christ. There were too many to save and too few of us.

I cried. I sobbed. At the same time I felt so powerfully a great knowing that Jesus Christ is so soon to return, and that is how He wanted me to see it. I believe He is calling me and perhaps He is calling you. C.T. Studd once said, “Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell, I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of Hell.” He also said, "The “romance” of a missionary is often made up of monotony and drudgery; there often is no glamour in it; it doesn’t stir a man’s spirit or blood. So don’t come out to be a missionary as an experiment; it is useless and dangerous. Only come if you feel you would rather die than not come. Don’t come if you want to make a great name or want to live long. Come if you feel there is no greater honor, after living for Christ, than to die for Him.”

The things I spoke about today were to me from the Lord, but I know that He wanted me to tell you. We are that close to His return. This is not a game, nor exercise, this is eternal life and that life is in His Son. As Jackie Pullinger said, "We don’t talk about ministries. I don’t have a ministry either, I just have a life...the joy is not seeing them come through, the joy is knowing Jesus...there is no other way to serve Him, but giving up your life. And this is voluntary. This is not a sentence of death at all. We are not sentenced to death, we are just privileged to answer His call."