I Catch You When You Fall

Hello brothers and sisters and Youtube family. Hope you guys are being blessed.

I had a hard fall this past week because of Pride again and not only was I corrected by the Lord before the community and also discerned some messages weren’t from him. Don’t worry none of the messages we’re put up on the channel.

It began last week when I was counciling the newest members in the community concerning some changes I felt they needed to make. In follow up for them to take their Franciscan vows within a few days. The ladies have come such a long way and I was so proud of them however, I realized there were some habits I felt needed to be curtailed once they took their vows of holy poverty, obedience, Chasity, solitude and substantial prayer. So we had our weekly meeting and I brought the issues that were on my heart to the the ladies and took my stand firmly that they should strongly adhere to what I felt was on my heart. They began to contend and two other brothers in the community came in. I thought they would be supportive, but I felt undermined.

So I left the meeting hurriedly and hurt by their actions. I tried to shake it off, however the next morning found myself brooding instead and I felt the Lord had given me a message about it. I went to Mother Clare and she discovered it wasn’t from the Lord.

I keenly perceived it may have not been Jesus because after the message I got the rhema Proverbs 27:2 Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips. After re-reading the message I realized it puffed me up a bit. So I was okay when I realized it wasn’t from the Lord because I had a check. However, after telling Mother Clare the situation that happened she decided to call both of my brothers in and talk with them about it. Needless to say we left the meeting without a sense of peace and I knew they were both hurt and angry because they didn’t realize I had felt undermined in that situation as I thought to myself maybe I should’ve talked to them about it first.

I tried to make peace with them later that evening, but I knew there was still some resentment. That morning we had our weekly community fellowship where we all pull a rhemas to hear what the Lord is speaking to our hearts. The first rhema I pulled was “ “ Our Holy Poverty will not do very much more than be noble aspirations if our humility and Charity are not in place. The saints did not demand their way…and they were sensitive, courteous & unselfish”. I thought ouch Lord, I thought I was doing the right thing however I realized this time I had gone too far.

I shared it with everyone and apologized to the ladies and my two brothers for my pride and insensitivity. However, when I came back home to reason with the Lord I felt so hurt because usually he has my back in this role on leadership and many times he asked me to be firm when I would rather crawl in a hole and not at lead anyone spiritually. ...

I found myself for several days fearful of hearing his voice, of going to any books to get rhemas because I felt let down by Him and I was just discouraged.

Then a few days later during worship the Lord played a song over me prompting me that he wanted to speak to me. I had also gotten a rhema earlier that said “ I will restore our relationship and restore your graces”. So I stopped and came before him taking the little faith I had left to believe I would hear from him. I then heard gently

“Pride proceeds a fall, and I too proceed your fall and wait to catch you in my loving arms and restore you to grace when you don’t run from me”

I am so sorry Lord. I feel like the past couple of days I have been licking my wounds as I felt humiliated and very discouraged. I could feel pride rising and I told myself a fall was probably coming just didn’t know it would be like this. I’m sorry for hurting you and running from hearing your voice.

SONG: I DONT OWN THE COPYRIGHT
BY MELANIE TIERCE "I am your God" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4nXKkOVBKQ

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