I Am For You

MESSAGE TRANSCRIPT

Hello brothers and sisters and YouTube family hope you guys are being blessed.
It has yet again been rough guys. The past week I haven’t been feeling well at all and I
had just came from doctor’s appointment yesterday. I hadn’t been to the doctor in 5
years I had no need too, but the Lord told me to go last week. Then pain began in my
body as he has revealed a curse landed. Then the enemy was pelting me with feelings
of loneness, rejection and discouragement. Then he showed me I had a strong man of
Jealousy and that’s who the curse had landed.The Lord had me confess my sins to
Mother Clare when I returned from the appointment. As I shared my soul with Mother
Clare I realized I had been combating with this struggle for most of my life which all
stems from the root of rejection. More so when I came to the Lord the enemy continued
to attack every friendship and one by one people began to fall away from me and at
times I felt misunderstood. Others felt intimidated by me so for that reason may kept
their distance when I wanted a friend of course all of these things the Lord has allowed.
As he has desired time and time again for me to run to him alone. That he would be my
only recourse, friend and lover of my soul. However, with that comes the acute sense of
rejection when I open my heart to someone and they are cold towards me it hurts. Also
being jealous of others around me who have a close relationship and it happened here
in this community. So I was repenting the day before and asking the Lord to heal these
wounds of rejection that I may be free to love without fear and more importantly be
content with him as my best friend so that I wouldn’t get jealous of others who have a
close relationship to each other. Me and Mother Clare talked for a while about these
issues and it brought healing to my soul as it always does. As she mentioned that I was
overly sensitive because of these wounds so I began to ask the Lord to help me with
that. She is a wonderful encourager, so I went to sleep with my heart clean and feeling
the weight lifted.
Then in the morning I got a phone call from a friend I hadn’t talked too in a year. The
back story to this, is that she was a very dear girl friend of mine before coming to the
mountain. It was a group of 4 of us, 2 guys and her we were like the 4 musketeers for
Jesus as we had done so many ministry events together and they were my closest
friend who I missed dearly. So I was so excited and encouraged to say the least. They
were against me coming to the community which really, hurt but I knew it was out of
love and fear of deception they opposed it. When I got on the mountain the Lord had me
cut away everything from the world because he said it was “rotten”. So got my number
changed that I may fix my eyes on Jesus and not lose my peace with the many negative
calls and text I was getting from everyone. I had asked Jesus one time when I was
missing them if I could reach out to them and got “Humility”. So I laid down with in
instead and waiting for the right time because they weren’t ready to receive anything I
would have to say anyway. So about a week ago the Lord finally gave me the go ahead
to reach out to my dear friends. I had put myself in their shoes and in all honesty I
probably would’ve have reacted the same way fearing what I don’t understand. When I

called I was able to reach two, one answered the phone but was very short with me and
said they would call back. The other saw my message on fb but ignored it. I was really
disappointed as I thought the Lord was going to bring reconciliation but I surrendered to
his will and told him if he wanted to restore the friendship to please have them call.
Would you know that I got a phone that morning. I was so excited especially after
renouncing loneness, rejection and jealousy with Mother Clare. I thought finally and
answer to prayer. She was my closest girlfriend and I thought for sure she would be
open to hear my heart, forgive me of distincing myself and understand what that Lord
had done and was doing in myeline. Before I could began talking the phone cut off. She
tried calling back again and it cut off. Then the phone died. I thought to myself uh oh this
has happened before Lord are you trying to warn me not to talk to her? So I texted her
after charging the phone for a bit then tried calling again twice, but got voicemail. Then
all of these thoughts and suspicious came to my mind that her motives and intentions
for calling weren’t pure. I saw her on the phone, but she had others listening on the call
as if it was a set up or trying to get information. I thought no, Lord this couldn’t be. Is this
me or is this you showing me this. So I decided to get a rhema and I got “Psalm 41”

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Email: Maryelisha@fromjesuswithloveministry.org
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