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At The Mart
Adams & McDowell's sardonic ode to the big box stores.
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AT THE MART
Music & Lyrics: Dianne Adams & James McDowell
Graphics and Animation: Taylor McDowell
Back in days of old when it was time to Christmas shop,
We had to search through every little store.
But since The Mart has moved into that quiet vacant lot
It's paradise, we couldn't ask for more.
You can get all you need at The Mart.
Never the fear of wasting a trip.
You can find wing nuts, donuts, and driveway sealer,
Balms for your lip, for your cut, for the pain in your b…
Hip, it's hip at The Mart.
Any new fashion look you desire.
Whether it's argyle socks or the latest brake shoes,
Pants to fit your spare tire.
They have all the best selections, competition's on their knees.
That's 'cause they've got great connections to foreign factories.
Nobody sells for less than The Mart.
You can afford to load up the cart.
Who needs the "shop next door" when we've got a super store?
Let's go shop at The Mart!
Just as all the politicians promised that it would,
The Mart's created jobs for you and me.
Even Jack, who had to close the local hardware store,
Is working now at checkout number three.
The referendum said The Mart would clean up the town,
And help us get our "burg" out of the "red".
Well now that they are open, though we're still not in the "black",
At least The Mart is "cleaning up" just like they said.
Everything's better now with The Mart,
Just when you thought that culture was dead.
You can buy bean dips, cheese whips, and chains for winter,
Wax for your car, for your boat, for your floor, for your saw, for your slide, for your sled,
For the top of your head.
Let's head to The Mart.
Always a helpful clerk "in the know"
If you can't find the things that you need just ask,
They'll tell you just where to go.
Did you know across our border
They're supporting girls and boys?
Working for the "New World Order"
Assembling all the toys.
Never a SWEAT to SHOP at The Mart.
They have made merchandising an art.
So load up the cart, let's live!
Just don't get inquisitive.
Let's go shop where it's smart.
No need to go downtown where shopping's laborious.
Parking's great, and prices are glorious.
So their means are slightly notorious,
Let's go shop at The…
Let's go shop at The Mart!
©2016 Adams & McDowell
At the Mart is a song from SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEAS, the Adams & McDowell Christmas CD, now available on Amazon and CD Baby. To purchase: https://www.amazon.com/Sleep-Heavenly-Peas-McDowell-Christmas/dp/B005UWVHK0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1480338513&sr=8-1&keywords=sleep+in+heavenly+peas, or: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/adamsmcdowell2
To listen to song clips from SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEAS: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/adamsmcdowell2
Happy holidays!
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