Tortoise Motivated By Treats To Use Hamster Wheel

Ok, this is a little weird. The caretaker of this tortoise has put it on an exercise plan. It’s bad enough that he’s given only green leaves to eat, but to get it he has to go a few rounds on the hamster wheel.

We’ve never actually seen a tortoise exercise on a hamster wheel. We’ve seen hamsters do it, of course, and they’ll gladly do it just because, no coaxing needed. The tortoise is a different matter. It doesn’t give the impression that it’s enjoying the workout, but rather thinks it’s walking toward a meal. Kind of a mean thing to do to a tortoise. The tortoise looks confused, even a little depressed. It doesn’t understand why the human torments it.

The caretaker finally does give it a nibble. After all, we don’t want the tortoise to drop from exhaustion, or to give up. That might break its spirit. We don’t know how intelligent the tortoise is. It’s like a kindly old man, which only wants to live for a hundred, or possibly 200 years without getting in anyone’s way. It doesn’t want to make a fuss, and the tortoise can hardly be called a drama queen. Do tortoises play? Who knows? Would we even recognize a tortoise at play? They seem to have very few ambitions in their extraordinarily long life. Food, sleep, and mating on rare occasions. They’re almost like the animal kingdom’s version of a Vulcan, of Star Trek fame. Logical, unassuming, and with little capacity for humor.

The man with the leaf gives the little dude a break. Who came up with the bright idea that a tortoise needs an exercise wheel? Do tortoises even get fat? He’s not lazy…he’s a tortoise! They’re supposed to be slow. Are you sure you want a svelte, athletic tortoise?

It’s not the most sure footed creature on earth, either. Maybe you could invent little running sneakers, while you’re at it. And a tiny elastic headband, in case it breaks out in a sweat. Let’s hope the man doesn’t try to teach it how to catch a Frisbee at the park. Really, this whole thing about putting your tortoise on an exercise regimen can get a little carried away.

Ah, well, as long as the tortoise has somebody looking after it. Just play along, if it humors the man and I get my food. The little guy is going to sleep like a log tonight.