How Narcissists Really Think

How a narcissist really thinks, and how you should deal with narcissistic people.

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Summary:
8. They Need to Feel Important: Everyone wants to feel needed in life, it can give us a sense of purpose. However, a narcissist will seek importance without working for it. It’s different than someone who is confident but does not feel the need to brag. According to Psychology Today, narcissistic people will want to be recognized as superior to others without even earning it. In an intimate relationship, this can be very harmful, especially when arguments and debates arise. For example, John believes that he is smarter than his wife and kids. So no matter what they accomplish, John will always remind them that they can never live up to his standards.

7. Consumed With Success: To get ahead in life, you need to have a certain degree of success. Sometimes we seek help from others that may be able to help us achieve that success. We don’t do it for praise or to brag that we’re on top, we seek help so we can move forward. Psychology Today states that a narcissist will only help if it benefits them. They are obsessed with being the best at everything, and they won’t help you if they feel that you are going to try and steal their spotlight. Sometimes this even means that they will sabotage others or make others look bad just to make themselves look better. This can be done in the workplace, at home, and many other types of settings.

6. Only Relates to “Special People”: Narcissistic people do not value you for who you are, but only on what you do. For example, a parent that is looking for a therapist for his/her children will only focus on the academic background and accomplishments of the individual. They will ignore the abilities and actual experience that the therapist has to offer.

5. Need to Be Admired: Because a narcissist contains no emotions, they need to constantly be reminded of how important they are. They seek compliments and admiration, and this can be harmful to others because it can become exhausting. You can deliver a compliment to them, but two minutes later they will bring up another accomplishment and expect praise once again. They need attention on them at all times, and if they are not getting the attention or admiration they need and want, they will result in some pretty drastic measures to get it. Even at the cost of a loved one or friend!

4. They Need to Come First: Dealing with entitlement when it comes to a narcissist can be difficult because you have to leave out the needs of everyone else around you. They think that they are above everyone so that entitles them to special treatment. The second you decide not to deliver that treatment is when they may start plotting to take you down. This may include harsh comments about you and possibly show their lack of appreciation for you. Narcissists are under the impression that no one is better than them, and will feel threatened if they feel that someone is getting better treatment than them. This usually results in a narcissist trying to sabotage another person to make them look bad or inferior.

3. Sacrifice Others for Their Own Success: Other people do not matter to a narcissist; this is why it makes it so easy to manipulate people into doing things for them. At the end of the day, it’s all about what you can do for them. For example, Stephanie only calls Melissa a Therapist when she needs help during an emotional crisis.

2. They Lack Empathy: If you lack empathy, how can you ever develop love in a relationship or bond with anyone? You can spot this with a narcissist because they always leave a pattern. They may seem empathetic, but the second things do not go their way, they will quickly turn on you. Or you may notice that one of your friends never seems to understand your feelings, and they always try to make the uncomfortable conversations about themselves. If you figure out that you are in an intimate relationship with a narcissist, it would be best to leave because they are usually incapable of love.

1. Envious of Others: Aside from always wanting to be the best, narcissists often try to take others down because they are envious of what they have or accomplished. It can be very exhausting to try and keep up with your friends’ accomplishments, but a narcissist will not rest until they have accomplished it or made the person feel beneath them. They could go as far as spreading rumors that could tarnish your reputation.