President Trump Welcomes Canada as the 51st State – ‘Poutine’ Renamed to ‘Freedom Platter’!

In a historic and totally real announcement, President Trump officially welcomes Canada as the 51st state of the United States! As part of this groundbreaking transition, all Canadians will receive a complimentary MAGA toque, maple syrup tariffs will be abolished, and—most importantly—poutine will now be referred to as the Freedom Platter.

Join us as we break down the yuuuge benefits of this merger, including unlimited Tim Hortons, free hockey sticks for every American, and an official presidential moose parade. Is Canada ready for NASCAR and gun racks? Only time will tell!

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