boo

Not on my Hill yet... sleep Inn and failed the fast I wasn't even hungry but those lollies tasted really good not really now though I wasn't going to say anything but moving forward on a stairs the key and I refuse to lie to myself and two others got the punishment for my failure will come today with sweat and pain because no pain no gain and I hold myself accountable can't pay yourself on the back every day you'll also need to sometimes punch yourself in the face and today's a punch..

I want to get fitter so since my failure I'm gonna do the hill four times a day so that will be an incline of 350 metres times four at one point two kilometers times four you do the math every day and at the end of my slog then I will talk s*** to my 100 and 16 Facebook buddies

I have to hold myself accountable and when someone says it's okay it's not because it's a slippery scale back to 135 kilos messed up hormone levels especially testosterone and the last time this happened I couldn't get out of bed for 11 months and made a hangman's and got my hands onto a gun and fuck living that again, I am an addict to everything it's my personality and I need to give it good things to be addicted to as opposed to pornographic material sugar incredibly bad food and toxic relationships with the needing to be right as opposed to being ruthless and a very good cunt.... fuck failure it's time to get real... just after I get caffeinated because it feels like I drink class night I don't feel the best and I don't like feeling like this.

You can fail and I learned how not to fast by eating lollies and through my honesty I shame myself and I use it as feel and don't do it again because fuck doing it eight times a day because I'll be honest I'm a little bit fucked in the head and I'm going to keep exercising today my main goal is to vomit on myself and then Ill feel better, I will sleep very well tonight

I've seen people do that hell four times in a row one guy and particular ran it, doing it once a day it's just doing what most people don't doing it four times a day is making a point and I need to get because how is the only thing sweeter than rj's liquid-ish Macintosh lollies......