Life Under Tyrants (2020 - 2024 song compilation) - THE SHADOW BANNED

(a collection of demos and unreleased tracks from 2020 to 2024)

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00:00 Are You A Boy Or Are You A Girl? (early cover version of 1965 single by The Barbarians) (3:23)

03:22 Acronym People (demo) 3:28

06:51 Critical Rock Theory (unreleased track) 5:59

12:51 The Only N-Word You Really Hate Is No (demo) 5:49

18:39 Johnathan Isaac (demo) 4:17

22:56 Get Off My Lawn (demo) 6:28

29:23 The Last 4th of July (early version) 4:45

34:10 Same Pig, Different Dress (early version) 2:16

36:26 W.A.F. (early version) 4:39

41:06 A Male Feminist Is Not to Be Trusted (demo) 3:37

44:02 The Exploding Whale (unreleased track) 5:57

50:39 Mad Scientists (early alternate version) 5:38

56:17 Brainwashed In College (demo) 5:40

01:01:57 Toxic Femininity (early version) 6:00

01:07:58 Show Me Your Papers (demo) 6:54

01:07:57 He Shot My Arm Off (demo) 7:38

01:22:29 Manson 2.0 (early version) 3:25

01:25:54 Recidivism (demo) 3:03

01:28:57 Sanctuary City (demo) 4:02

01:32:59 An Anonymous Letter To A Racist White Co-Worker ("Hindsight 2020" outtake) 3:29

01:36:28 Only A Narcissist (unreleased track) 4:19

01:40:47 That's Why They Made This Country (demo) 5:39

01:46:26 To the Peaceful Protestor Who Blew Up the Georgia Guide Stones (unreleased track) 2:14

01:48:39 Consider the Ashamed (early version) 2:46

01:51:24 Millions Are Deceived (featuring Pastor Paul Washer) (unreleased track) 6:13

01:57:38 Integrity Is Better Than Fame (demo) 4:42

02:02:19 If You Don't Know the Issues (demo) 2:02

02:04:22 Big Canoe (early rough demo) 3:15

02:07:38 Get Woke Go Broke Pt. III (from the unreleased "Get Woke Go Broke EP") 12:03

02:19:40 Anti-Woke Drill Instructor (early version) 5:57

02:25:37 A Micro-Aggression On Cherry Creek Trail ("Hindsight 2020" outtake demo) 3:54

02:29:31 American Zigzag (unreleased track) 7:52

02:37:24 Hollywood's Full Of Losers (early version) 6:25

02:43:48 Labor Day 2023 (instrumental demo) 8:00

02:51:48 If You Don't Want To Get Freaked Out ("Hindsight 2020" outtake demo) 4:57

02:56:45 Surprise! You're Dead... (This Is Not the Age of Aquarius) (early version) 4:29

03:01:14 Cali-FROWN-ia (rough demo) 4:17

03:05:30 Dawn Saved A Life (instrumental demo) 3:54

03:09:25 I Don't Want To Raise Fragile Kids (early version) 10:18

03:19:43 Everything Is Infotainment Nowadays ("Hindsight 2020" outtake demo) 4:27

03:24:10 Girl Scout Cookies Have Been Cancelled ("Hindsight 2020" outtake) 5:42

03:29:53 Ravenscraig (early rough demo) 5:49

03:35:42 I'm Tired of This P.C. B.S.! ("Hindsight 2020" outtake) 5:57

03:41:39 Stupid Intellectuals (early rough demo) 9:38

03:51:16 I'm Not A Sheep (single) 5:15

03:56:32 A Scrooge Living In A Frightened Nation (demo) 7:13

04:03:45 Aliens (Instrumental demo) 2:12

04:05:56 Thank You for Being A Hero ("Hindsight 2020" outtake) 3:50

04:09:47 Untitled Instrumental Demo 2:42

LYRICS:

Are You A Boy, Or Are You A Girl (cover rendition of The Barbarians 1965 single)

Are you a boy or are you a girl?
With your long blonde hair
you look like a girl
(yeah, you look like a girl)
Well, you may be a boy
You look like a girl

You're either a girl
or you come from California
(yeah, Cali-forn')
You can talk from your woke high horse
but you'll sink like a stone
(yeah, a rollin' stone)
You may be a boy
You look like a girl

Well, you may be you
But you still need Jesus
(yeah, you need Jesus)
You can chase every other desire
but you'll never be whole
(No, never be whole)
Well, you may be you
You need Jesus

(Hey, you look like a girl!)
(Hey, you look like a girl!)
(Hey, you look like a girl!)
(Hey, you look like a girl!)

(Hey, you look like a girl!)
(Hey, you look like a girl!)
(Hey, you look like a girl!)
(Hey, you look like a girl!)

are you a boy
or are you a girl...
(scat singing)

Acronym People (demo)

DEI stands for
Deranged Egghead Intellectuals
Diabolically Endless Idiocy
Devils Evading Incrimination
Demonically Evil Institution

CRT stands for
Cynical Racist Traitors
Celebrating Radical Tyranny
Criminals Reveling in your Tears
Carnivores Raping the Trinity

You say your acronym
and that's what I hear
You say your acronym
and that's what I hear

Beware of acronym people!

FBI stands for
Fraudulent Boogiemen Infidels

and IRS stands for
I'll Rot your Security

CNN stands for
Communist News Network

WHO stands for
World Hellraising Organization

WEF stands for
Worthless Evil Fakes

MSNBC stands for
Machiavellian Satanic News Broadcasting Crap!

Raise a red flag
Don't believe a word
the best propaganda never seems absurd

til you investigate
discover the facts
you don't have to take it from me

DNC stands for
Demonic Nihilistic Conspirators

and CCP stands for
Citizen-Controlling...
Psychopaths!

CEI stands for
Communists Eating the Innocent

FDA stands for
Free Death Abounds!

LGBTQ+ stands for
I don't even know anymore!

and BLM stands for
Black Looting Matters

You say your acronym
and that's what I hear
You say your acronym
and that's what I hear
You say your acronym
and that's what I hear

Raise a red flag
Don't believe a word
the best propaganda never seems absurd

til you investigate
discover the facts
you don't have to take it from me

Critical Rock Theory (unreleased track)

Woke college students
At the University of Wisconsin
Labeled a 42-ton rock
on their campus
a symbol of racism
Yes, a friggin' rock
is a racist
in 2021

These smart kids must’ve found something incriminating
in the rock's old tweets!
Or maybe the students were threatened
by the rock having a higher GPA.

The old adage,
“dumber than a pile of rocks”
comes to mind with this story

The Wisconsin black student union
demanded that the rock be removed from campus
as one of
a series of demands
in the wake of
the police killings
of George Floyd
and Breonna Taylor

Here’s their reason why the rock was deemed racist:
A 1925 Wisconsin State Journal article used the n-word
as part of a nickname for the giant boulder.

There was no evidence that the rock’s nickname survived to today
The university eventually caved to their pressure
Probably out of a fear of being called racist themselves
And agreed to move the rock to a different location

Major props to the contractors
Who were hired to move the rock
The crane and big rig operators
earned a fifty-thousand-dollar contract
Yes, fifty grand!
They worked for FOUR HOURS
to move the big boulder
to a different location

the contractors likely

laughed all the way to the bank

I bet they laughed all the way to the bank

I bet they laughed all the way to the bank

I bet they laughed all the way to the bank
I bet they laughed all the way to the bank
I bet they laughed all the way to the bank
I
bet
they
laughed
all
the
way
to
the
bank

At least the private sector
benefited
from the University’s
incompetence!

I bet they laughed all the way to the bank

Unfortunately,
no one bothered to ask the question
if the rock was in fact called the n-word,

wouldn’t that make the rock
an oppressed minority?
Isn’t segregating the rock a form of discrimination?
These things can’t be good!
These things can’t be good!

No one also took into consideration
about the individuals on campus who identify as rocks
if I identified as a rock
I’d be livid
by this act of discrimination
against my kind!
My pronouns are Rock,
Rocker,
and Rockself
Don’t screw it up!

Now that the rock has been moved
What racism was solved?
Calling an inanimate object "racist "
surprisingly didn’t solve any of Wisconsin's problems
or eliminate racism
anywhere else in the world
for that matter.

This rock story seems to indicate
we might be close to running out
of things to call racist
people are doing their best to keep division alive.
The students clearly have nothing better to do

It was just 77 years ago,
in 1944,
when men stormed the beaches of Normandy
to fight against tyranny

In 2021
college students protest rocks
Lord help us all!

Critical Rock Theory

Critical Rock Theory

Critical Rock Theory

Critical Rock Theory

Critical Rock Theory
Critical Rock Theory
Critical Rock Theory
Critical Rock Theory

Critical Rock Theory

The Only N-Word You Really Hate Is 'No!' (demo)

This one goes out
to all public school administrators
to all the mad celebrities
and their mad scientist doctors

You were raised by lazy parents
and now you're raising our kids
to whine and virtue signal
and blame others for what they did

And the only N-word you really hate is No
The only N-word you really hate is No
You got yourself stuck
with nowhere to go
Because the only N-word you really hate
.... is No

You lead our youth astray
Now they're too blind to see
Best to be tied to a mill stone
And be thrown into the sea

As the apostle Paul once said,
"I wish they would mutilate themselves
....instead."

And the only N word you really hate is No
The only N word you really hate is No
You got yourself stuck
with nowhere to go
Because the only N word you really hate
.... is No

You're liars and you're hypocrites
You say "love" but you hate
We want to grow old in peace
But now it's too late

Jonathan Isaac

I’ve got a new favorite basketball player
a forward for the Orlando Magic
Jonathan Isaac

I never heard of him
Until he made a bold decision
To not kneel for the national anthem
In a game in July 2020

it took some guts
it took some courage
To go against the grain
And not follow the woke mob

In a press conference after the game
Jonathan gracefully handled a question from a reporter
who asked him a ridiculous two-part question:
“You didn’t kneel for the national anthem,
or wear a black lives matter shirt…
Do you believe that black lives matter?”

(music)

He didn’t get flustered
Or lose his cool
She wanted to bait him,
but he didn't play her game
Jonathan thinks for himself

“I only kneel before God.” he replied.
This "reporter"
a propagandist
doesn't understand respect for religion
or one’s relationship with the Lord
and Jonathan calmly explained himself to her

(music)

It took a lot of courage to proclaim the Gospel.
Jonathan did so to millions of viewers on international television
That took more resolution than any of those kneeling for the anthem
Or wearing a special t-shirt

I heard a couple days later
That the lord blessed Johnathan abundantly
And his jersey sales went through the roof
Only second to the self-proclaimed king, Lebron James
"Wokeahauntus"
Which is awesome
Way to go Jonathan!

We need more athletes like Jonathan in our professional sports
I wonder how many of those players kneeling before the game
didn't want to
but also were afraid to disappoint others
and went ahead and knelt anyway

the courage Jonathan displayed is incredible.
He stood up for what he believes in
In the face of ridicule from his peers
And the media
He stood for what's right,
And found himself standing alone.

Jonathan is an American hero
For having the guts to stand for his beliefs
His actions make me want to read my Bible more.
The only things we need to remember
is to love God above all things
and love our neighbors as ourselves.

God Bless America!

Get Off My Lawn (demo)

If the children are our future
then the future is f***ed
It's not a simple case of being down on our luck
When no one will lift a finger to earn a buck
It's no wonder we feel the technology
suck!

Why does society celebrate
lost souls for whom it's much too late?
Is that really somebody to emulate?
Consuming anything that makes their ego inflate.

Dumb!

Dumb!

Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!

There's nothing wrong with calling out dumb

This thought, I must admit,
had never dawned:
That I'd be one of those old guys screaming "Get off my lawn!"
But when right is right
and the left is wrong
it's no wonder everyone
is buying a gun

And if you think the coast is clear
Well, look again, son
Those are not mostly peaceful protestors
out on your lawn

Hey, young person
I'm talking to you
If you're offended
It's 'cause you know what to do
but don't want to
You better take a good look around you

'Cause some day you're going to be
an old man too!
Will you trust your children
to protect you?

Dumb! Dumb!
Lazy, spoiled and dumb
The next generation keeps getting more dumb

Foolishness
She offers you a banquet
and gives you a funeral

Dumb

Dumb

Dealing with dumb

is never fun

Dealing with dumb
is never fun

Dealing with dumb

Dealing with dumb

Dumb! Dumb!

The Last 4th of July (early version)

(scat singing)

squishy…. Weak…. soft….
Flaccid…. 'n' lame….
boring…. Quiet.
soy milk…
low testosterone.
impossible burgers….
sugar free jello
and sandals with socks
….Unamerican!

those are words that come to mind
When I hear about the city of Parker
replacing their July 4th fireworks
with some stupid drones
flying outta in the sky
out of some concern
for the alleged "dry conditions"
and that our beloved fireworks
will start a forest fire

Mark
my
words:

I’ll never ever go
to a Drone light show
NO!!!!
I’ll never ever go
to a Drone light show
NO!!!!
I’ll never ever go
to a Drone light show
NO!!!!
I’ll never ever go
NEVER GONNA GO!

For as long as I live
you couldn’t pay me to watch your city’s drone display
we set off FIREWORKS for a reason.
EXPLOSIONS ARE THE SOUND OF FREEDOM.
KaBoom! KaBoom! KaBoom!
Did you hear that?!
Dang right ya did.

that’s why your coffee table's still vibrating

that’s why your coffee table's still vibrating

that’s why your coffee table's still vibrating

that’s why your coffee table's still vibrating

Where's the kaboom from your silly billy drone light show, huh??
when I think of our nation’s independence
and freedom
and red, white, and blue
I think of an earth shattering KABOOM
the sweetest sound in the world
To hell with that hushed, quiet, sugar free jello,
commie drone garbage!
commie drone garbage!
commie drone garbage!
commie drone garbage!

“Those drones…
floating in air...
gave proof through the night...
that our flag was still there”
That’s not how the song goes!
it's Commie revisionist history!

It’s just a smaller part of a bigger plan
to hollow-out American traditions
where the only smoke screen
is the environment
at least that's what they claim's the motivation

The first week of July is for flag waving patriots
and the deafening sou nds of our badass, bombastic fireworks!
And you can’t forget about the sweet smell of sulfur
oh man!
I love that burnt sulfur smell
that’s not something you can replace with a mechanical fairy

If we let em get away with treating us like kids
you can guess what else they’re cooking up
Easter, Labor Day, Memorial Day
they’ll be coming for our food!
The commies want us to sit around a table
repent for the sins of our ancestors
Tofu Turkey at Thanksgiving and Christmas
Only air-fry no more barbeques

I’ll never ever go
to a Drone light show
NO!!!!
I’ll never ever go
to a Drone light show
NO!!!!
I’ll never ever go
to a Drone light show
NO!!!!
I’ll never ever go
NEVER GONNA GO!

Same Pig, Different Dress (early version)

What are they going to call it next?
Whatever it'll be
Same pig different dress

What are they going to call it next?
Whatever it'll be
Same pig different dress

Marxism
Progressivism
New Age
and
New Order
Unity in a Brave New World
Flower Power and
Communism
Wokeism
Socialism
and the Peace Movement
Environmentalism
and Globalism

Whatever they call it it's all the same

Hell's propaganda leaking into your brain

What are they going to call it next?
Whatever it'll be
Same pig different dress

listen up beatniks
hippies and punks
Gen X Grungies and metalheads
Goth shoegazers
and the Hip Hop masters
old time swingers and country singers
ever wonder who's may be pulling your chain?
here's one clue, they're all the same

the rhetoric of narcissists and psychopaths
angels of light with darker halves

what are they going to call it next?
whatever it'll be
same pig different dress

you can bet it'll make it's way 'round again
but next time we'll be ready my friend

W.A.F. (early version)

We don't want
boss bitches

or your body count
back in college

We don't want
a Disney Princess

a ran thru slut
or any other hot messes

We don't want WAP!
We want WAF!!!

We don't want WAP!
We want WAF!!!

WOMEN AGAINST...
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !

WOMEN AGAINST...
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !

WOMEN AGAINST...
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !

WOMEN AGAINST...
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS!!!!!!

We don't want
your armpit hair
We're not attracted to your thousand-yard stare
You can keep your edible underwear
Where your path leads
it's very hot down there

WE WANT!
WOMEN AGAINST...
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !

WOMEN AGAINST...
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !

WOMEN AGAINST...
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !

WOMEN AGAINST...
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !

I want a woman
in a pink cowboy hat & boots
who won't give me any BS
a woman who loves the truth

She won't take any BS either
and she knows how to stand her ground
when it comes to her family
a woman who makes her husband proud

We don't want
The View
Taylor Swift &
Beyoncé too
Build Back Better?
Get a Joy(Reid)less clue!
You narcissists
have tun red this country into a zoo

FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !

We don't want WAP!
We want WAF!!!

We don't want WAP!
We want WAF!!!

WOMEN AGAINST
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !

WOMEN AGAINST
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !

WOMEN AGAINST
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !

WOMEN AGAINST
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI-NAZIS ! ! !
FEMI -
NAZIS ! ! !

We don't want WAP
We want WAF
(repeat)
WOMEN AGAINST
F E M I - N A Z I S ! ! !
F E M I - N A Z I S ! ! !
F E M I - N A Z I S ! ! !
WOMEN AGAINST
F E M I - N A Z I S ! ! !
F E M I - N A Z I S ! ! !
F E M I - N A Z I S ! ! !

A Male Femenist Is Not to Be Trusted (demo)

Does being a feminist make you less of a man?
Yes it does!
Yes it does
Does being a feminist make you less of a man?
Yes it does!
Yes it does

A male feminist,
isn’t manly.
Treating women with respect is manly.

If you bow to them,
let them walk all over you,
being too agreeable
isn't manly

These male feminists are simply not to be trusted.
These type of men
Sometimes use female tactics
to compete against other men
for women.
They’re wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Why doesn't it work?
Women are better at female tactics.
They see right through it.

Any man who calls himself a feminist
has probably done some degrading things to women.
It’s an extreme overcorrection
brought on by guilt.

I’d bet my next paycheck
that many of these male feminists
have a criminal record
and probably aren’t allowed within 500 feet of a school.

Deep down,
male feminists really hate women
for denying them their entire lives.
They’re desperate,
in denial,
and dishonest in their intentions.

No woman who catches onto this
will respect a man who behaves like this

These low testosterone feminist men are also slow
can’t pick heavy things up,
And basically, just pathetic weasels

As Bill Burr once joked,
"Ladies, if you pick a guy like that,
you better hope
the killer picks the house next door."

Here’s a question for you:
How many male feminists
does it take to change a light bulb?
None
They had to ask a real man to do it

No matter what hardships you may go through in life
be thankful you’re not a male feminist.
That’s just a pathetic thing to be

And to all the parents out there
Please do your best
to ensure your son
doesn’t grow up to be a male feminist.

The Exploding Whale (unreleased track)

It was 1970
Florence, Oregon
The decade got started with a bang
A dead whale
was stuck on the beach
8 tons and 45 feet

it wasn’t long before
beachgoers complained
about the giant rotting whale carcass stench

The newscaster
said local authorities had a ‘stinky whale of a problem’
on their hands

The Oregon department
of transportation
were tasked with
solving the problem.

It might’ve been
the very first time
a whale carcass washed up on the beach.

Authorities weren’t sure how to get rid of it
They said it simply couldn’t be buried
nor cut up and buried
no one wanted to do that.

Thankfully, someone spoke up at
the whale meeting
With the genius idea
To blow the whale up
With a half ton of dynamite!
That would blow the whale into oblivion
with no large chunks remaining
Any small pieces
of whale bits still around
Would be chomped up by hungry seagulls

The decision-makers were also attracted to the thrill

of blowing stuff up!

On the day of the blast
many people congregated on the beach.

to watch the great spectacle
The dynamite went off
And exploded the 8-ton whale
BOOOOOM!!

The massive sound of the explosion
was oddly satisfying
And could be heard 25 miles away
Someone yelled out,
“Thar’ she blows!”

Unfortunately...

the whale didn’t disintegrate

And the entertainment

Quickly turned into a run for survival

As people ran for cover

From the falling debris

“The blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds”
Said the newscaster.
Said the newscaster.

“The blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds”
Said the newscaster.
Said the local newscaster.

huge chunks of whale blubber
rained down from the sky

Bystanders hurried away from the beach.

There were reports
that some of the whale
weighed as much as two hundred pounds.

One local couple
unaware of the day’s festivities

parked their car
looking forward to
a relaxing day on the beach,

and witnessed a slab
of whale skin smack down
on their windshield

“Hunny, what is that?”

“that, there, looks like dead whale flesh!”

“that, there, looks like dead whale flesh!”

“that, there, looks like dead whale flesh!”

“THAT, THERE, LOOKS LIKE DEAD WHALE FLESH!!!”

A parked car one-quarter mile from the blast
was the victim of a larger whale flesh chunk
that landed on the roof of his car
and completely smashed it in.

Everyone on the scene
Was covered in dead whale guts,
and would go home that evening
smelling of burnt blubber
stuck to their skin,
clothes, and hair...
the worst thing they’ve ever smelled in their lives

The seagulls
who were supposed to clean things up
were nowhere in sight
either scared off from the blast
or grossed out by
the stink of wretched charred whale flesh
that hung in the air

that hung in the air

(...now that's what I call 'cloudy with a chance of meatballs'...)

Mad Scientists (alternate version)

Mad Scientists taking over the world!
Mad Scientists taking over the world!
Mad Scientists taking over the world!
Mad Scientists taking over the world!

I thought these kinds of villians exist only in cartoons
but I was wrong!
They're probably wringing their hands
laughing "za vorld vill be MINE!!!"
Rubbing elbows with elites and progressives
creating pseudo-science junk-food to feed the masses
turning the planet into their own labaratory
making Guinea Pigs out of each and every one of us!

Mad Scientists taking over the world!
Mad Scientists taking over the world!
Mad Scientists taking over the world!
Mad Scientists taking over the world!

You got Bill Gates buying farmland like it's going out of style!
What for?
Data experts and mental health clinicians hired by the CDC
and there's more!
vaccine mandates shutting down society in Canada and "Down Under"
As hapless idiots buy all the propaganda
believing we'll be living in some Star Trek utopia

Mad Scientists taking over the world!
Mad Scientists taking over the world!
Mad Scientists taking over the world!
Mad Scientists taking over the world!

(bridge)

I thought these psychos existed in cartoons and horror films
but I was wrong!
Frankenstein "Frankenfood" GMO B.S.
turning us into The Toxic Avenger
A future of animal-human hybrids
and transgender bathrooms
while microchips and AI technology
hail the arrival of the Mark of The Beast!

Nanobots!
Vaccines!
Stem cells!
Gain of Function!
Eugenics!
"Plan-demics"!
Lockdowns!
CHEMICAL WARFARE!!!

NO COMPLAINCE!
NO SURRENDER!
NO COMPLAINCE!
NO SURRENDER!
NO COMPLAINCE!
NO SURRENDER!
NO COMPLAINCE!
NO SURRENDER!

Brainwashed In College (demo)

Shove that Marxist bulls*** down my throat
Gonna scream "Democracy now!" and pretend to vote
I'll soon have Communism running through these red-blooded veins
Cuz I'm going to college to re-program my brain!

Gonna get brainwashed in college!
Gonna get brainwashed in college!
Gonna get brainwashed in college!
Gonna get brainwashed in college!

Why do my parents gotta be such creeps?
All my other friends got hybrids and I got a Jeep
They say it's the content of my character that matters
Well tell that to my face when I vote Bernie Sanders

Gonna get brainwashed in college!
Gonna get brainwashed in college!
Gonna get brainwashed in college!
Gonna get brainwashed in college!

(Bridge)

Little do my students know that when I teach a class
I'm pulling information right out my ass
Sure I've read the Gulag Archipelligo
But what's most important for these brats is what they don't know.

You see I remember the 1960s
When like today we tried to bring the country to it's knees
Uncle Karl taught us comrades that it all was a lie
But we're not stupid, we just want to see people die.....

Why bother learning to think for yourself,
when mom and dad would rather pretend to be elves?
So I guess I'll go school and get pumped full of sh**
and rely on government to take care of it

Gonna get brainwashed in college!
Gonna get brainwashed in college!
Gonna get brainwashed in college!
Gonna get brainwashed in college!

(random Zappa-esque dialogue at the end)
I need to get my books and some notepads and a backpack and trapper-keeper and some pens and some pencils.  Not the dumb wooden pencils though.  Ugh.  I prefer the automatic pencils.  It's too much work having to keep sharpening over and over and over.  Like seriously.  Who makes stuff out of wood anymore?  What are we like living in the 1970s or some dinosaur year?

(coach whistle) Fire up, Chips! Fire up, Chips! Fire up, Chips!

(more random students talking...)
That is so racists against Native Americans!

...I gotta get my school jersey with all the school colors...  Gotta get my university ID, and a case of beer, and some condoms, and an espresso machine, and directions to the nearest strip club...
 
...gotta join a fraternity so I don't have to be bothered with finding real friends on my own....  I've already been practicing at home to prepare for the hazing ritual....  I can hold my bladder for over an hour now.

  ...can't wait to get my hands on some of the rival team's cheerleaders!  It's all good... they're a buncha rural conservatives at that school anyway...  they're just asking for it...
..who, ya know, can't read very good.... (begin fade out)  
...and don't practice no good grammar skills.  
...and who wave the flag.  
....and go to church.  
...and listen to country music.  
...and actually ENJOY manual labor!  
...and who like capitalism.  
...and they're actually AGAINST killing babies!
 
...well it's not that my sorority sisters and I are a bunch of narcissists.   We just hate people that we've been told are stupider than us...  

No I'm not really gay....I just act like this to get p***y!
...I turned the girl's bathroom into a safe space!...

...America is sooo stupid.  Why can't the entire world be like college?
...I'm just gonna become a career-student.  I just wanna spend my whole life in college... 

Toxic FemIninity (early version)

If a woman you’re interested in
describes herself as a feminist on a first date
You might wanna describe yourself as leaving

If you’re doing online dating
And you see the word "feminist" in her profile
That’s a red flag
It’s a code word for:
“I hate white men and I want to kill 'em”
It’s time for loneliness
to swipe right
dodge that woke disaster at all costs

Toxic......Femininity
(Toxic Femininity!)
Toxic......Femininity
(Toxic Femininity!)
Toxic......Femininity
(Toxic Femininity!)
Toxic......Femininity
(Toxic Femininity!)

There are other words you need to watch out for as well
If a woman ever uses the word "fascist"
or says "I identify as…"
or “Let’s dismantle the patriarchy”
or throws around the word "intersectionality"
or “gender pay gap”
or “LatinX”
and has no sense of humor
about what’s coming out of her mouth
You gotta lace up your shoes
And run fast

You have too much self-respect
to tolerate someone who hates you.

You don’t want to find yourself in a relationship
With a woke, vegan, man-hating nightmare
with a victim-mindset
That’ll be a slow suicide
you’re better off alone
than tied to a crazy lunatic
who is completely disconnected from reality

you don’t wanna date a feminist woman nowadays
because the focus of attention will shift away from your relationship
and instead to ideology, propaganda, and leftist bullshit
you’ll never form a cohesive unit with such a woman.
She’ll blame you for things you didn’t do
and things you don't want to be associated with.
her energy will be aligned to fighting a war that is only in her head.
This is not feminism.
This is toxic femininity.

It's also as if some of these woke feminists don't want women
to be the best versions of themselves
but instead to become the worst versions of men.

it doesn’t matter how attractive
a woke woman might be,
(that is if you can find an attractive one)
you’re inflicting a lot of pain on yourself
To stick around and subject yourself to her mental illness.

In a few years
Miss Wokey McWokeface
Unmarried and childless
Her eggs completely scrambled
will become the strange ‘cat woman’
who lives down the street.
Single, bitter, promiscuous, and unhappy
for the rest of her miserable godless life.
Keep your distance!
Don’t be a fool!
Don't try to save her!

It’s pretty simple
don't date women who hate men.
As the good book warns us:
"It's better to spend your years alone in the desert, eating sand,
than to spend even 1 hour with a toxic woman."
Heed this important wisdom

Toxic......Femininity
(Toxic Femininity!)
Toxic......Femininity
(Toxic Femininity!)
Toxic......Femininity
(Toxic Femininity!)
Toxic......Femininity
(Toxic Femininity!)

Show Me Your Papers (demo)

Show me your papers
Proof of your jab
Evidence of your vax
So you can gain
access to restaurants
attend school
fly on a plane
go to a concert
Or even hold a job

‘History is relpeat
with examples
Of where the ominous phrase
“show me your papers”
can take us.

Freedoms have been limited
Groups segregated
Wars have been waged

'cause a frightened public
screamed for safety
Treating others
as dangerous and dirty
Has led the human race
To do terrible things

'Show me your papers'
should alarm all of us

Yet, people go along with it
like it's normal.
It’s fear
that drives people
to do crazy things.

I was caught off guard
by how much Americans have just rolled over
and accepted this bs
and gone along
with these damn mandates

Hasn't humanity survived pandemics before?
I mean, we're all here!

It’s a big deal
That people believe they have the right to know the status of others

Getting asked to show your papers:
‘It's punishment for non-compliance,
rather than science'

It’s NOT about protecting people

These mandates are all about power

it's about complete control
over what we can and can't do.

Don’t let em’ fool you!

When a vaccine works
you don’t worry about who is around you
because breakthroughs
are very rare with real vaccines.
These things don’t stop the spread!
Nothing is stopping this virus!
Your mandates are not valid!

“If you have to be persuaded, reminded, bullied, pressured, incentivized, intimidated, lied to, guilt tripped, coerced, socially shamed, censored, threatened, paid, punished, and criminalized in order to gain your compliance – you can be absolutely certain what is being promoted is not in your best interest.” (Jonathan Leroux)

Oh is that right?
you wanna see my papers?!?!?!
I’ve got something to show you
How about my middle finger jammed in your face!

Non-compliance has gotta be widespread.
Strength in numbers!
Strength in numbers!

Say it with me,
I will not comply!
I will not comply!
I will not comply!

When tyranny becomes law,
Resistance becomes duty
When tyranny becomes law,
Resistance becomes duty
When tyranny becomes law,
Resistance becomes duty

I will not comply!
I will not comply!

We will not
We will not comply!

He Shot My Arm Off (demo)

Theives tried to rob a convenience store
in Norco, California
but the owner,
an eighty-year-old man
named Craig
wasn’t havin' it
he was watching the four bad guys
on his
security camera
when they rolled up in a stolen SUV
and when they entered his store
wearing ski masks and hoods
one of them with an assault rifle
pointed it in Craig's direction
But the old maaan was quick
and with a shotg un in hand
he pulled the trigger first
and struck one of the men
as the suspects fled the store the man who was hit
was heard screaming
“HE SHOT MY ARM OFF!”
“HE SHOT MY ARM OFF!”
squealing like a little girl
and bleeding like a stuck pig
as the four bad guys scrambled back
into the stolen SUV
the only thing keeping
the bad guy’s arm
from hitting the ground
was his long-sleeved shirt!
it was probably a bird shot load
Craig hit him with
And not a buck double O
Otherwise the bad guy wouldn’t have an arm left, or a life

bad guy got Rosenbaumed! 
bad guy got Rosenbaumed! 
bad guy got Rosenbaumed! Rosenbaumed! 

bad guy got Rosenbaumed! 
bad guy got Rosenbaumed! 
bad guy got Rosenbaumed! Rosenbaumed! 

Unfortunately, Craig had a heart attack the night of the shooting
due to the stress of the situation
possibly thinking about the consequences
he might have to endure
from the California "justice" system
and their love for criminals.
Craig had a choice to make
to kill or be killed
Thankfully Craig recoverd
And was back at his store in a matter of days
The security cameras got terrific footage
resulting in a viral video
And Craig got an unexpected
five minutes of fame
He later told a newscaster
“The guy pointed the gun right at me.
It was either him or me,
and I was a little bit faster.”
The Norco community
rallied around ol' Craig
an outpouring of support
a beautiful thing to see
“I support 'im a hundred percent."
...One neighbor said
"He was acting in self-defense
He protected his life!"
I’m sending healing prayers to this man,
he went through enough!
The only ones that should’ve wound up in the hospital
are those useless thugs"
another neighbor said,
“People need to understand
that when someone is doing violence against you
you got a right to defend”
“He protected his business”
The newscaster said
"No! Get it right!
The neighbor said
"He protected his life!"
Craig survived an armed robbery and a heart attack in one day
The man is a legend
Ya gotta love a story like this!
Craig should be an example
for the rest of us
It’s a shame more business owners don’t respond
the way he did
Play a stupid game, ya win a stupid prize!
(Pull the trigger Pull the trigger!)
rather than giving the criminals what they want.
(Pull the trigger Pull the trigger!)
Craig was commended
by the Sheriff's Department.
The video of the shooting
made him a celebrity.
People flocked to his store to congratulate him
and get a picture
and buy their own T-shirt
that read
“Don’t Mess with Norco,
We’ll shoot your arm off!”

Craig eventaully passed away
in October of '22
he had owned that store since 1976.
Hard to believe
This all went down
in California,
maybe we can pitch it to Hollywood!

Manson 2.0 (early version)

THE MANSON FAMILY IS BACK AGAIN
THEY'RE BACK AGAIN
THEY WANT A RACE WAR
DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM

ANTIFA AND BLM
AND BLM
BLACK PANTHERS AND THE KKK
AND BLM
THE KKK AND ANTIFA
AND BLM

THEY'RE OUTTA THEIR MINDS
DON'T LISTEN TO THEM

AND EVERY NAZI
EVERY COMMIE
AND ANY REBEL SOLDIER
OF THE ENEMY
SOWING DIVISION AND INSTABILITY

ANTIFA AND BLM
AND BLM
GEORGE SOROS AND THE KKK
AND BLM
THE KKK AND ANTIFA
AND BLM

Recidivism (demo)

Recidivism!
The symptom of a broken judicial system
Recidivism!
Elites & crooked judges & politicians fist-bump

In back rooms and in darkened corridors
Where communists wage war upon the poor
They don't care who lives and who gets killed
As long they can do the devil's will with...

Recidivism!
No!

Recidivism!
Planned obsolescence destroying the nations
Recidivism!
Another ploy to reduce populations!

Reward the bad and demonize the good
And they won't stop 'til all the world's a hood
A revolving door so criminals won't fall
A planned excuse to declare Marshall law
because of...

Recidivism!
No! No! No! No!

(music)

Lining their pockets with the blood money
Approved destruction of society
The Joker's goons are running free
To rape and pillage your family
due to...

Recidivism!
No! No! No! No!
(music)

Sanctuary City (demo)

We don't want to live
In a Sanctuary City
The streets smell like piss
And the neighborhoods are sh***y
And when you call the cops
They'll show criminals pity
Who would want to live
In a Sanctuary City?

Not me

would you?

Not me

would you?

There's no hope
In a Sanctuary City
No one wants your business
'cause life's too nitty gritty
It's full of hungry animals
Just looking for a titty
Who the hell would live
in a Sanctuary City?

Let them burn 'em down
Let them burn 'em all down
As long as they all stay in town
We don't want those clowns around
In our small towns
Let them burn themselves to the ground

Death always looms
In a Sanctuary City
The leaders there are evil
and their hearts are itty-bitty
They only want power
And their politics are sh***y
Why live a lie
In Sanctuary City?

ya gotta be outta you're mind

Let them burn em down
Let them burn em all down
As long as they all
remain in town
Let them burn themselves
to the ground!
We don't want those clowns around
In our small towns
And if they come around
they're asking to be found

Why live a lie
In Sanctuary City?
Why live a lie
In Sanctuary City?
Why live a lie
In Sanctuary City?

There's no hope
In a Sanctuary City...

There's no hope
In a Sanctuary C.....

We don't want to live
In a Sanctuary City!!
The streets smell like piss
And the neighborhoods are sh***y
And when you call the cops
They show criminals pity
Who would want to live
In a Sanctuary City?

Sanctuary City
Sanctuary City
Sanctuary City
Sanctuary City

An Anonymous Letter To A Racist White Co-Worker ("Hindsight 2020" outtake)

Dear Inconsiderate, Racist, White Co-Worker
You
are
a white supremacist!

And!!!
... a white piece of horse manure

(This is just an anonymous letter to another racist white co-worker
This is just an an anonymous letter to another racist white co-worker)

The way you have...
DEFILED!!!!...
... our breakroom community microwave
Is UN-AC-CEPT-A-BLLLLLLLLLLE!!!

Those of us in this workplace,

who are opressed
and marginalized
at least deserve

a clean microwave…

when heating up our lunch…

a microwave that isn’t soiled with dead animal parts and cow mucus…

Yuck! It takes special cleaning supplies and steel wool to scrub that nasty crap off.
It took me an hour to even put a dent in that catastrophe,
My arm is still sore!
I couldn't even play video games!
So you can imagine why I'm little tense right now!

Tell you what, buddy!
You have exploded your very last beef & cheese burrito
It is only your white privilege
that has allowed you
to get away with these...ATROCITIES
...for as long as you have!

I will NOT tolerate this workplace hostility!
Here’s what you’re gonna do
Take your pasty cracker ass
And your Costco sized box of burritos
and get the hell out of our diverse, equitable, and inclusive breakroom!

(It's just another anonymous letter to another racist white co-worker
It's just another anonymous letter to another racist white co-worker)

Why don't you go do a swan dive into Mount Vesuvius... a**hole!

I really hope ya die Whitey Ford !
Why don’t you do us all a favor
And take a toaster bath!
Or better yet
Jump in a bathtub
And I’ll toss in a microwave
that’s heating up one of your beloved burritos
Wouldn’t that be sweet poetic justice!
Watching you fry to death?

(You're a racist white co-worker!
You're a racist white co-worker!
You're a racist white co-worker!
You're a racist white co-worker!)

Say good-bye to this diverse community of long-suffering co-workers
On whom you inflicted with so much pain and suffering
No one will miss you!

Especially those of us who had to use the microwave after you!

Sincerely,
-An Anonymous, Angry Non-Binary, Gender Non-Conforming, Co-Worker!

(You're a racist white co-worker!)

Only A Narcissist (unreleased track)

only a narcissist
would double down
even when they know they're wrong

only a sociopath
would double down
even when all reason's gone

We all have narcissistic
tendencies
It's more complicated than the
birds & bees
But if a loved-one is making you
afraid to sneeze
Then I'm sorry to say you're livin'
on your knees

Personality Disorders
are destroying society
Basket case egomanics
destroy good peoples' sanity

Nothing you do will ever be good enough
It's never just as simple as us and them
They push you away while pulling you back in
This gaslighting madness is surely a sin

only a narcissist
would double down
even when they think they've won

only a psychopath
would double down
even when all feeling's gone

We all have narcissistic
tendencies
It's more complicated than the
birds & bees
But if a loved-one's making you
afraid to sneeze
Then I'm sorry to say you're livin'
on your knees

Personality Disorders
are destroying society
Basket case egomanics
destroy good peoples' sanity

Nothing you do will ever be good enough
It's never as simple as just us and them
They push you away while pulling you back in
This gaslighting madness is surely a sin

They got
no flexible thinking
They got
no flexible thinking
You might
think they've been drinking
But it's just
no flexible thinking
no flexible thinking
no flexible thinking
no flexible thinking
no flexible thinking

Oh no!

That's Why They Made This Country (demo)

Just let everybody be
Class stuggles are everywhere.
Look at the United Kingdom
Airquotes over "United"
Even they know it's a joke
Monty Python's Flying Circus built a career out of it

(music)

Look, we humans just aren't going to get a long
We never have been able to
and we never will, this side of the pearly gates
the best we can do is just try not to kill each other or control each other
and just let everyone else be
We're all just trying to get through life the best we can while minimizing the ouside forces controlling us

that's why they made this country
that's why they made this country
that's why they made this country

Consider the Ashamed (early version)

Every holocaust begins with
it's us against them
if you think they're not coming for you
think again

when I see kids waving signs
saying "Euthianize Christians!"
it's not hard to see the writing on the wall
Is this what you want on your record?
Is this what you want on your record?

Look at those citizens after the war
the embarrassed and ashamed of Germany
Is that what what you want on your record
is this what you want for a legacy?

In Vietnam, Russia, or China
Palestine or Rwanda
the rhetoric is always the same
the language
of psychopaths

To the Peaceful Protestor Who Blew Up the Georgia Guide Stones (unreleased track)

You are a modern day Gideon
someone worthy of praise
a brave soldier in God's Army
whether you know it or not
So we salute you, sir or mam
for your act of righteous defiance
and your defense of the sacred
to purge the land of evil

You are a modern day Gideon
someone worthy of praise
a brave soldier in God's Army
whether you know it or not
So we salute you, sir or mam
for your act of righteous defiance
and your defense of the sacred
to purge the land of evil

Millions Are Deceived (featuring Pastor Paul Washer) (unreleased track)

Integrity Is Better Than Fame (demo)

I didn't monetize this song
Not even gonna use my real name
I don't care if you like me or not
Integrity is better than fame

I do what I do to glorify God
Glorify God
not me
It's the least I could do for
the One who rescued me

I'm a walking miracle
I should have died or gone insane
Never knew it would be comforting
to know I'm the only one to blame

(instrumental)

If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
I sleep peacefully knowing He's in control
and no one else is gonna save my soul

Integrity is better than fame

If You Don't Know the Issues (demo)

If you don't know the issues
don't go to the protest rally
If you don't know the issues
don't start an X account
If you don't know the issues
Don't go to the voting booth
If you don't know the issues
Don't claim that you have the truth

if you can't see past your algorithmic bubble
this generation's in for real trouble

don't you want to
be an exception?
are you brave enough to
face rejection?
or do you want to be
another penguin in a herd
Commenting and listening to
the Young Turds (Turks)?
.....

If you don't know the issues
Don't go to council meeting
If you don't know the issues
don't force us with what you're eating
If you don't know the issues
Don't go to your prayer closet
If you don't know the issues
Unless maybe you're a vet

I've been on both sides of the fence
one's for death, the other righteousness
don't be so sure of your convictions
righteousness doesn't lead to addiction
why choose for yourself
if you have to put everyone else on a shelf?
If you don't know the issues
you're gonna need more tissues

Critical thinking is lost on most people nowadays
Seems people would rather walk around in a cheap daze

Big Canoe (early rough demo)

Big Canoe (early rough demo)

VERSE 1
Goin' downstream may seem fun at first
But eventually it be comes the worst
Despite all the water you begin to thirst
Before you know it you're riding in the back of a hearse

CHORUS 1
If you're not careful
You'll be swept up in the current
If you're not careful
You will get pulled down

If you're not careful
You'll be in the devil's playground
If you're not careful
You are going to drown

VERSE 2
Goin' downstream may seem fun at first
But eventually it becomes the worst
Despite all the water you begin to thirst
Before you know it you find yourself under a curse

BRIDGE:
Do not envy sinners, my friend
Their destiny is destruction
If you want to make it to the end
Hold fast to your salvation

Do not envy sinners
Their destiny is destruction
If you want to be a winner
Hold fast to your salvation
salvation

(instrumental)

VERSE 3
Goin' 'gainst the current is not easy to do
You'll need lots of friends and a big canoe
And though at times it seems you're not moving at all
It's a garauntee you won't go down a waterfall

CHORUS 2
If you're not careful
You'll be swept up in the current
If you're not careful
You will get pulled down

If you're not careful
You'll be in the devil's playground
If you're not careful
You are going to drown

ENDING
Don't be a fool
Get away from the whirlpool
Anchor your soul
and you won't go down
down that hole
down that hole
down that hole

Do not envy sinners
Their destiny is destruction
If you want to be a winner
Hold fast to your salvation

Do not envy sinners, my friend
Their destiny is destruction
If you want to make it to the end
Hold fast to your salvation
salvation

Get Woke Go Broke Pt. III (from the unreleased "Get Woke Go Broke EP")

Anti-Woke Drill Instructor (early version)

(Sound of marching feet in military boots stomping closer and closer as music starts up, coinciding with the beat)

CHORUS:
(Soldiers in unison:)
Make way!
For the
Anti-Woke Drill Instructor! (x4)

Now listen-up you green loving,
soy drinking,
vegan pond scum! 
Your poor families sent your pathetic rumps to me
to see if we can't whoop the snowflake outta ya! 
And if there's one thing I loooove to do,
it's beating the crap out of snowflakes!

I AM your unfriendly neighborhood Anti-Woke Drill Instructor!!! AKA "The Soy Boy Crusher" and "The Fairy Princess Slayer!"

My job...no, my SUPERPOWER,
is to turn you wimps
into something resembling a real man.
You came in here with a couple o' Milk Duds in your drawers.
And so help me,
you'll need a damn wheelbarrow to carry your nuts in on the way out!!!!

CHORUS:
(Soldiers in unison:)
Make way!
For the
Anti-Woke Drill Instructor! (x4)

CHORUS: *
(Soldiers in unison:)
Make way!
For the
Anti-Woke Drill Instructor! (x4...)

                            (*...starts repeating under the following dialogue as it begins and continues until the music changes)

The training I provide is to help you become better, stronger, faster, less sensitive, and more productive men in society.
But first I'm gonna knock that political correctness right outta your skull.
I will happily and shamelessly mock your dumb, stupid and illogical woke ideas until you're weeping like children that didn't win a trophy in the Special Olympics!  I’m gonna teach you to think like a man!  You WILL unlearn all the garbage propaganda they pumped you full of in college. Consider TODAY your first day of KINDERGARTEN! 

(Music dips quieter, chorus vocals stop)

After a summer of me screaming in your face with my coffee breath, confronting all your BS, I’m confident you'll thank me for restoring your God-given roles as real men.  Full of integrity! Dignity! And honor!  And all the proper chromosomes! Plus, several cans of whoop-ass in your back pocket, of various shapes, sizes and flavors.  Except soy of course!!!

(Bridge)

(Music picks back up)

For the record, I don’t even know what soy milk tastes like!  I DO know that ever since that crap hit the shelves, masculinity has plummeted, as well as the average testosterone levels for male adults! And meanwhile, suicide rates for men have skyrocketed. Coincidence? I don't think so! Sounds like a Marxist/Communist plot if I ever heard one!

BRIDGE:
(Soldiers in unison:)
He does
not know
what soy milk tastes like (x2) 

How are we going to keep America's future secure, with a bunch of effeminate Twitter-twats running around looking for a trans bathroom and complaining that their thumbs hurt from too much texting???

Last week, I got a call from a distraught young woman. She said to me, “I have got to get my husband into your program...I had to show him how to replace a flat tire on our car. He didn't know what a tire iron is...I asked him to go get me the jack and he brought back some yarn and knitting needles! I'm in serious trouble here. Then he took a couple philosophy classes down at the local college. Now he dyes his hair blue and wears sandals with socks!  I've lost all respect for him. Please help!"

"This poor woman was desperate, and at the end of her rope.  I said to her, ‘Mam…it sounds like this man-child is gonna need a more intensive program...I recommend my Soy Boy Crusher service for an extra charge...but its guaranteed to break that supposed "man" down for you, so we can start from scratch and build him back up into a REAL man... you won't regret it...” 

By week 7, that sadsack of a man knew what the hell a tire-iron is. With my tough love approach…and your commitment to improvement… I can help you become a stronger, better version of yourself. A better man!  Most importantly for yourself…but also for your spouses, AND your community!  But first we're gonna squeeze every last woke drop of soy juice out of you!

And remember: Cowards don't inherit the Kingdom!  Now let the instruction begin!!!!

CHORUS:
(Soldiers in unison:)
Make way!
For the
Anti-Woke Drill Instructor! (x12)

(Chorus and music fades, leaving only marching boots sounds again)

A Micro-Aggression On Cherry Creek Trail ("Hindsight 2020" outtake demo)

I love riding my bike
Down Cherry Creek trail
Headed west towards the mountains
An eleven-mile ride from my house to REI

There’s two lanes on the trail.
One lane for bikers, walkers, and runners heading East
And another lane for the same traffic going west
There’s a nice little stream off to the side
With rocks
Flowing water
very pretty

The trail goes underneath some bridges
Occasionally I’ll see homeless people
And drug addicts
And other shady looking characters hanging out
it’s usually not enough to spoil my bike ride
mostly just a lot of young people
getting in their exercise
however, there was one event that cast some shade on my glorious bike ride
And almost ruined my ride

I was on the trail
heading west
that’s when I spotted a black kid on a skateboard
twenty years old maybe
just some punk kid
who tried to fuck with my life

He started in his lane
With the rest of the east bound traffic
But decided to shake things up a bit
For god knows what reason
and switched lanes

now he was going the wrong way
Riding his skateboard straight towards me
Going east
In a westbound lane
aimed right at me like a missile.

What the fuck is he doing?
I thought
that’s the wrong way
On a one-way
Plus I’m not wearing my helmet!
Though I never wear my helmet

We made eye contact
He’s looking right in my face
he can see me!
I started to ring my bell like a dummy
That wasn’t gonna help
but he doesn’t care
because this is an intentional move on his part

The distance between us started to close
Head on collision
Who was gonna flinch first?
As we got closer
I hollered at him
“WAKE THE FUCK UP!”
And started to brace for impact

He was still staring right at me
an intentional move
To fuck with me
No doubt about that

right before we were gonna collide
He swerved out of the way
As I winced
My heart beating fast
What the fuck!?!??!?!?
Now thoroughly pissed off

I struggled to make sense of his behavior

The first thing that popped in my head
Was something stupid I learned at work
I learned all about micro-aggressions
In my diversity and inclusion training at work
I thought about categorizing his behavior as a microaggression

But I wasn’t sure
It seemed a bit more severe than a micro thing
Could it also be a macroaggression?
Or maybe a medium sized aggression?
or maybe his behavior is just a shitty thing to do
a dick move
and race has nothin to do with it

then again
does none of that count because I’m a straight white man?
And he’s a black twerp on a skateboard
Can you commit micro-aggressions towards straight white males?
I guess it depends on who you ask
Who the fuck knows anymore?!

All I know is that we almost had a head on collision
And that was stressful
And it fucked with my bike ride
But not too much
I kept peddling on
And enjoying my ride

American Zigzag (unreleased track)

if you find yourself in an active shooter siteation
which would be messed up
but let’s face the facts here
an active shooter
is as American as warm yummy apple pie
with a side scoop of vanilla ice cream
so I’m gonna give you some practical advice
on how to stay alive in this freaky siteation

here’s what ya gotta doooooooo
first, run in the opposite direction of the shooter
if the shooter is to your left
then you run yo fat bunz to the right
as fast as you possibly can
I know that seems pretty obvious
but the advice I’m about to give ya next
is not super obvious
at least not to the man with the gun

as you run away
now this is important so listen closely to what I have to say
you need to run in a zig zag motion.
Don’t you go runnin in a straight line, ya hear me?
That’s too predictable.
as you run away from the shooter.
you gotta zig to your right
then you gotta make a quick zag to your left
alright, then repeat the process
zig then zag,
zig then zag
zig then zag

that’s the key to stayin alive in this type of siteation
you can’t go runnin in a straight line away from the shooter
even if the shooter doesn’t have great aim
if he shoots enough rounds
he’s gonna hit you in the back with at least… one of em
then you’re friggin toast!
and if you’re dead you ain’t ziggin or zaggin you sleepin for evah
you some burnt ass friggin dead toast
that ain’t something you wanna be!

but if you’re still breathing
and you still have legs that work
and you have feet that aren’t too sore
then you still in the game!
and you best be ziggin
and you best be zaggin
ziggin and zaggin, ziggin and zaggin
and you best be ziggin
and you best be zaggin
ziggin and zaggin, ziggin and zaggin

you got a better chance of evadin’ his bullets
cause he’s not gonna know which way you goin
he’s not gonna know what to expect.
it’s important to make sure your zigs and your zags
are filled with unpredictableness

you can zig to your left about 10 feet
then you quickly pivot
and zag to your right for about 4 and one half feet
then abruptly zig to your left again
then maybe go straight ahead for a few diameters
then quickly zag to your left again for another two yards,
then go backwards a couple uneven, sideways, half steps

don’t make even distance zigs and zags
are you understandin me? Are you listening?
I’m tryin to help YOU
this will keep the shooter off balance
and from focusing on you as a target
and being able to predict which direction you goin in next
he might just say,
“fug it, I don’t know what’s goin on here
it’s too hard to take aim at this
tap dancing, zig-zaggin’ fool”

you’re messing with this active shooter
with all your ziggin and zaggin!
You’re gettin inside his head
He just might set his sights
and point his big gun on someone else
and you’re still alive
which is the name of the game!
Survival of da fittest
Ziggin and zaggin, Ziggin and zaggin
that’s where it’s at.
that’s gonna keep you alive
and while you’re ziggin and zaggin
you listen closely to what I have to say next
If you find an object, a big old wall, or a desk
that’s safe enough distance away from the shooter
then you hide yo bunz in there.
and stay very quiet.
don’t be breathing all heavy and loud (*EXAMPLE BREATHING*)
Don’t be doing that
if you got yo phone
you call 911 in a hushed, super soft voice
and you tell them what’s going on
don’t freak out
don’t panic
just explain to the operator the facts
that you in an active shooter sitiation
and this shit’s real
and you need some help

Now, if you hear the gun shots getting closer
you might need to drop your phone
and vacate your hiding spot
and start runnin again
just remember what I teached you earlier
repeat the process as you runnin away
zig then zag, zig then zag
zag then zig, zag then zig
See how you gotta mix things up there!
don’t be a sittin duck!
Runnin’ in a straight line is for fools!
sittin ducks don’t zig and zag
they just sit!
and then they die
quack, quack, quack, DEAD!
quack, quack, quack, DEAD!

to stay alive
you gotta zig and zag
you gotta zig and zag
you gotta zig and zag
get a little Ziggy wit it
get a little zaggy wit it
get a little Ziggy wit it
get a little zaggy wit it
get a little Ziggy wit it
get a little zaggy wit it
you feel me????

and, if the situation gets heavy
and this is an active shooter situation
so it’s gonna be REAL
and loud
If you find another person
maybe a co-worker…even a family member…or a so called friend
who…let’s be real here..
you don’t like this person all that much...
you ain’t tight like that
And the shooter is gettin close
BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM
and it’s a choice
between this scared ass frenemy co-worker person
you don’t like all that much….or you.
Hide behind that person as a shield.
they might not like that very much
they’re gonna be squealing, crying, and shoutin for mommy
but remember, it’s every man for themselves.
In an active shooter sitiation
don’t be a hero
one of you has gots to go and it’s gonna be them, not you
Survival of da fittest

Well, let me be a little more inclusive with my words here
it’s every man, woman, woMAN, or they them theirs
for themselves.
you feel me? 
all kinds of different people these days so don’t go discriminating
if it comes down to them or you
that’s an easy decision
especially if you don’t even like they them theirs all dat much
then use their body as a protective shield to absorb all those bullets
gotta fend for yourself if you wanna survive to see annnuter day
gotta fend for yourself if you wanna survive to see annnuter day
it’s part of the zig zag game you gotta play to stay alive
you zig your fat bunz right behind this fool!

just heed this important advice that might keep you vertical
and to see anutter day
you gotta zig from the bullets
you gotta zag from the bullets
you gotta zig from the bullets
you gotta zag from the bullets
you gotta zig to stay alive
you gotta zag to stay alive
you gotta zig you gotta zag
you gotta zig you gotta zag
you gotta zig you gotta zag
you gotta zig you gotta zag

you feel me?
you livin now bro!
you livin now to see a nutter day
ziggin and zaggin

Hollywood's Full Of Losers (early version)

Who needs more idiots scremin' in the wind?
Who needs more idiots scremin' in the wind?
Who needs more idiots scremin' in the wind?
Who needs more idiots scremin' in the wind?

Well they don't know how to live
and they don't know how to love
they always scream and cry
they always push and shove
they cry themselves to sleep every night
never willing to come to the light

Hollywood's full of losers!
Hollywood's full of losers!
Hollywood's full of losers!
Hollywood's full of losers!

Well they're dumber than a stump
'cause they live inside a dream
they always get offended
'cause they got no self-esteem
but

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