Trust The Science: Feminist 'Hydrosexual Researcher' (She/They) Releases Study On Brine Shrimp

Posted • November 30, 2024: Sometimes, posts cross our timeline that make us tilt our heads a little. You know, like a dog who hears a weird noise and doesn't know what it is. This is one of those times. Buckle up, because some 'academics' have released a paper on feminist theories of brine shrimp sexuality. We think. We're not exactly 100% sure, given all the woke academic gobbledygook, but it's worth a laugh: Get ready for insanity. This new peer-reviewed paper in the a Springer Nature journal, uses "feminist blue posthumanities to reimagine…how brine shrimp are perceived in science, culture, and art." The paper "introduced the concept of hydrosexuality" to enrich "feminist blue posthumanities and feminist biology through art-based practices and queer advocacy." Its use of the "hydrosexual perspective challenges settler science by exploring the connections between the reproductive system of brine shrimp and the economy, ecology and culture."

Its analysis "draws inspiration from low trophic theory and Queer Death Studies" to "gradually alter white humans' perceptions and understandings of brine shrimp." I gotta say, this might dethrone the classic Feminist Glaciology paper for Most Insane Paper Ever. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GdSMoJbWsAAsJXW?format=jpg&name=large Literally no one thinks this much about brine shrimp. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10806-024-09934-0 -- Good luck if you decide to go down this rabbit hole. A little about the author: "Ewelina Jarosz (she/they) is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Media and Cultural Research at UKEN, Poland. Her current research explores the intersections of environmental art, queerfeminist blue posthumanities, queer ecologies, and activism of pleasure. They are also transdisciplinary collaborative artist working in cyber_nymphs art research duo with Justyna Górowska and they launched the hydrosexual movement in arts." https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GdSR6KKX0AAZln4?format=jpg&name=large

Ah, pronouns. That's totally on brand for someone who studies 'queerfeminist' anything. The author describes brine shrimp as having "swirly sexuality" and claims they can reproduce by "pathogenesis," which isn't a thing and she/they meant parthenogenesis. This paper was queer-reviewed, not peer-reviewed. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GdSZbbZWoAAnahw?format=jpg&name=large -- Not only is she ridiculous, she's stupid. Also completely on brand. The term "hydrosexuality" emphasizes the "more-than-human sensuality and sexuality emphasizing fluidity and relationality" and "deploys watery thinking to dissolve" the "hegemonic notion of the autonomous and bounded human subject." https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GdSatVDX0AAZcu2?format=jpg&name=large -- Honestly, this is nothing more than verbal diarrhea. That paper included a section near the end where the author claimed, via performance art, "to challenge the dominant scientific, industrial, and cultural use of brine shrimp by responding to them as lovable objects."

They made… a video. It's titled "Cyber Wedding to the Brine Shrimp," and depicts the author and her queer colleagues, dressed as brides, venturing out into the Great Salt Lake in Utah, CO, to make wedding vows and "express their human love towards the vulnerable yet tough brine shrimp." The author describes it as "a communal bath in the GSL, which some of us, including myself, perceived as making love to the lake." In the video, they receive psychic consent from the brine shrimp to marry them. It gets better. "To avoid potential harm to living critters, vows were made to the brine shrimp’s exponentially enlarged augmented reality image, which popped up at the lake’s shore above the humans’ heads." You really have to see it to believe it. Fortunately, Dr RollerGator managed to find the entire video, which he appropriately edited to include Mystery Science Theater 3000 silhouettes. 🤣 Grab some 🍿 and enjoy the show! And remember: Trust The Science.

The good news is, she's from Poland, so we don't have to pay for her student loans. But we're paying off the student loans of the feminists who study whatever the heck it is she's 'teaching' and that's sad. (…)

• More at: Twitchy - LOL WUT? Feminist 'Hydrosexual Researcher' Releases Study on Brine Shrimp You Have to Read to Believe
https://twitchy.com/amy-curtis/2024/11/29/hilarious-study-on-shrimp-sexuality-n2404379