These 5 NFL Coaches Should Be Fired Immediately (Here’s Why)

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These five coaches should be fired and I’ve got the stats to back it up.

I went back thirty years and started collecting data about how long it takes for Super Bowl winning coaches to actually win a Super Bowl with their team and the data shocked me. Let me explain what you are seeing. As each coach wins his Super Bowl I add a unit to the bar graph for the corresponding year, so you can see that when I got to John Gruden’s Super Bowl win, which he did in his first year as Tampa Bay’s head coach, there is a corresponding one unit bump above the column labeled one. Also I think it is worth mentioning that I am measuring Super Bowl wins, not does the coach consistently make it to the playoffs or have a great winning percentage or keep his players out of trouble. The Super Bowl is the ultimate marker of success in the NFL, so that is what we are measuring. Alright with that out of the way let’s stop at 2013

Do yall notice anything strange? I think the bar graph is pretty striking. Here’s the rule.

If a coach does not win a Super Bowl in his first five years then he will not win a Super Bowl with that team.

We’ll talk more about this 14 mark shortly.

Let’s resume the table and graph until we are current and we can see we have some outliers, but let’s dig deeper

This 8 mark is Tom Coughlin and he actually won a superbowl in year 4 of his tenure so the rule still works.

And what about these extreme outliers, 15, 17, & 19. Well that was Tom Brady, The Goat, winning his 4th, 5th, and 6th Super Bowl under Bill Belichick, who had actually won his first 3 super bowls in his first 5 years of coaching the Patriots..

So technically the rule would still stand, But I suppose we could make a goat clause to our rule. So the new rule would be

If a coach does not win a Super Bowl in his first five years then he will not win a Super Bowl with that team unless he has The Goat.

And that leads me to 7, 10, & 11 which were all done by Andy Reid and Patrick Mahommes or as some people call him, Future Goat. So you still have to win Super Bowls in your first five years as a head coach unless you happen to have these once in a generational type players.

And finally we have 14, which is Bill Cowher winning his only Super Bowl as the Steelers head coach. Maybe we call this the exception that proves the rule. I’m not sure, but it has only happened once in the last 30 years. The vast majority of Super Bowls are won in coaches' first 5 years.

In fact, only 2 times without goats in this study, did a coach tenured over 5 years win a Super Bowl. So lets just look at the percentages

Coach w/o goats winning past the 5 years tenured - 6.7%
Having a goat - 30%
Coaches first 5 years - 73.3%

And that doesn’t add up to 100 because Tom Brady and Belichick first 3 double dip counting as both the having a goat and first 5 years.

So basically 93% of Super Bowl winners over the last 30 years were coaches in the first 5 years or coaches with goats. Sometimes both.

So what does this mean for today. I think unless you have the future goat you (which is only Kansas City at the moment) you should fire all coaches over five years of service because you probably aren’t winning the superbowl

So now the question is what coaches are currently in their fifth plus year as coach with a team.

Mike McCarthy is in his fifth year which is actually the same year he won his Super Bowl in Green Bay. But let’s be real honest this season is going nowhere. Dak is no goat. No disrespect, he’s just not. so the cowboys have to move on from Mike McCarthy

Kevin Stefanski of the Browns. Named coach of the year in 2022. Was hired the same year as Mike McCarthy. Let him go.

Matt Lefluer of the Packers. He’s in his 6th year. The team is nice, but I don’t think he will beat the odds. Move on and try again

Bengals’ Zac Taylor - Also in his 6th year. What a quarterback he has, Joe Burrow has had a pretty impressive start to his career, but this season has been a struggle for the Bengals and very unlucky. I’m sorry Zac, but It’s time to find a new gig.

Kyle Shanahan - 8 years as 49ers head coach. Gone to two super bowls but never won one. You're fired. Also, please come to Dallas.

Sean McDermott, Buffalo Bills - This dude has 8 years with one of the best QBs in the league. If he hasn’t been able to do it yet. He’s not going to do it. Time to go. Give Josh Allen a new shot with a new coach.

And those are the five coaches that need to fired immediately, but I think 3 more have to go too.

Mike Tomlin, John Harbaugh, & Sean McVay have all won a super bowl so maybe you stick with them. I would understand that, but I think the odds are definitely against them. Jackson and Stafford are great Quarterbacks. Probably hall of fame quarterbacks, but they are not goats.

What do you think? Will this video age like a fine wine or premium milk?