Journal of Faith - Lazarus

The Journal of Faith series depicts entries from the characters' perspectives.

A powerful insight of what Lazarus may have thought when he saw called back from Paradise...

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I don’t know how to begin this. What words can I find to describe what has just happened? Four days ago, I was dead, fully gone, and yet here I am, alive once more. My sisters wept over me; I heard their voices fade into silence as the sickness overtook me. Then… This!

I’m confused. My soul has been to a place I can hardly begin to describe, a place I long to share yet struggle to leave behind.

When I closed my eyes in death, I opened them to light—not harsh or blinding, but pure and peaceful. I found myself in the company of the faithful, in the place known as Abraham’s Bosom. There, all was still, yet full of life. I was surrounded by the saints of old, by a peace deeper than the Jordan and joy greater than any feast we have ever shared here on earth.

There was no sorrow, no pain, no fear. Only rest. I saw Abraham, the father of our faith, whose presence radiated wisdom and warmth. I heard the voices of others who trusted in God’s promises, all waiting for the coming of the Messiah who would lead us into the fullness of redemption.

But today, I live.

It started with His voice. It was like thunder and yet like the softest whisper; strong, commanding, and full of love: "Lazarus, come forth." My name, spoken by the One who commands the seas and stars. How could I not obey? Suddenly, I felt the air rush into my lungs, my heart pound once again, my body stirring with life.

At first, I didn’t understand. How could this be? My soul was at peace. I had been freed from the pain and struggles of the world, from sickness, from weariness. Why was I being called back?

Yet I could not resist His call. My spirit returned, and suddenly I was in my body again. I rose, wrapped in grave clothes, my face still covered. My body felt strange, as if awakening from a long sleep, yet whole and strong. I stumbled toward the light, drawn by His call. My senses flooded with the feeling of breath, of heartbeat, of earth beneath my feet… I am alive, but I am not the same.

When I stumbled out of the tomb, still bound in grave clothes, I saw Him, Jesus, standing there, His face was radiant with compassion and power, His voice still echoing in my soul.

I saw my sisters, Mary and Martha, their faces radiant yet streaked with tears of disbelief and joy. I saw the crowd, their eyes wide with astonishment, some trembling, others shouting praises to God.

I cannot deny the sorrow I feel at being pulled away from such peace, yet neither can I deny the awe and gratitude that fills my heart. Jesus has raised me, and I know He has done so for a reason. His power over death is undeniable, perhaps as foreshadow of a future resurrection, and perhaps my return is meant to show others that He truly is the Messiah.

How can I return to the ordinary after this? I was a man bound by mortality, and now I have touched eternity. Every breath I take feels like a gift, every heartbeat a miracle. What do I do now? What is my purpose?

I overheard some in the crowd murmuring about the Pharisees. They will not let this go unnoticed. Rumors began that they will plot against Jesus, and perhaps even against me. I am living proof of His power, and for that, I may become a target.

But fear cannot overshadow the gratitude in my heart. My sisters hold me close as if they will never let go, and I cannot blame them. I see their joy, their laughter through tears, and I know my life is not my own anymore.

Jesus has called me back for a reason. I don’t know what it is yet, but I trust Him. He is the Resurrection and the Life. I have seen it, felt it, and now I live to tell it.

I do not know what tomorrow holds. For now, I will sit with my family, marvel at the sunlight I thought I would never see again, and eat the food I once thought I had left behind forever. I will tell all who ask of the peace and joy that awaits those who trust in the promises of God, and I will wait to see what Jesus has in store.

I have been to Abraham’s Bosom and then brought back, this is not a burden, but a privilege. I will live these days fully, knowing that the One who raised me has power not only over this life but over the life to come.

— Lazarus

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