Suicide

On Sunday I went back to Beachy head to pray and meditate for the young girl that committed suicide a week ago, after I finished work I grabbed my backpack and started the walk to the cliff, it was a beautiful sunny day and Seven Sisters felt heaven on Earth, sadly this place can be a nightmare on Earth for the many people that commit suicide jumping from the cliffs, the nightmare is for sure for the people close to them that will pay the consequences of that act, seems like life have been programmed in a way to make suicide the hardest thing to do so that we can live our journey to maybe learn lessons and then maybe reincarnate if we believe in that.

I arrived to the spot where the young girl took her life and sat in the lotus position, after few minutes a pressure in the middle of my forehead like something was trying to come out or maybe opening if we trust the various spiritualist that says we have a third eye, all ended up when cars from the coastguard arrived in search of someone in distress in the sea, I had a chat with them asking if they had further news of that girl, they hadn’t but instead they thought I was there to maybe commit suicide too, one of the guys recognized me from Tuesday and started to ask me questions to understand if I was there to end my life, there was no way they would leave without me and I should have understood it but instead I was so honest that I told them about my past and when I tried to commit suicide myself, with the excuse that they would give me a ride back to Eastbourne cause there was no buses at that time they lead me straight to the police that gave me a ride to the police station to speak with a psychologist so to understand I had suicidal tendencies, that was fair and understood their concerns, such a shame that those people that were trying to help me are the same people that would listen blindly corrupted politicians and would beat you up to death if told so, human beings nature is a joke, it feels a non sense joke and that was one of the reason I wanted to commit suicide long time ago.

At the end they realised that really all I wanted was to meditate and pray for the girl and took me back to the hotel, at least from all this story I saved money for the ride back with the bus.

As I said many times I won’t judge if suicide is right or wrong, humans made up religions will judge it as wrong but reality is that we don’t know, what we know is that are the one that still alive that will suffer the biggest emotional price for the loved ones that took their lives, we are made to stay, to create, to reproduce, to interact, for what??? Who really knows?? Within myself I feel is to learn something, to become wiser but don’t have the final answers and going through life like this is hard and that is maybe one of the reasons why that little girl took her life.