Ricky Gervais Roast Shocks at Golden Globe Awards 2023 about Hollywood Pedophiles
Oh thank you Thank you Hello and welcome to the 77th annual Golden Globe Awards live from the Beverly Hilton Hotel here in Los Angeles I'm Ricky Gervais Thank you You'll be pleased to know this is the last time I'm hosting these awards so I don't care anymore I'm joking I never did NBC clearly don't care either 5th time So I mean Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars because of some offensive tweets Hello Lucky for me the Hollywood Foreign Press can barely speak English And they've no idea what Twitter is So I got offered this gig by fax So let's go out with a bang Let's have a laugh at your expense shall we Remember they're just jokes We're all going to die soon and there's no sequel So Yeah Remember that But you all look lovely all dolled up You came here in your limos I came here in a limo tonight and the licence plate was made by Felicity Huffman So No Shush It's her It's her daughter I feel sorry for OK That must be the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to her And her dad was in Wild Hogs So Lots of big celebrities here tonight I mean legends icons yeah Look at this table alone Al Pacino Robert De Niro But Baby Yoda Oh that's Joe Pesci sorry I love you man Don't have me whacked But tonight isn't just about the people in front of the camera In this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world People from every background but they all have one thing in common They're all terrified of Ronan Farrow He's coming for you He's coming for you Look talking of all you perverts it was a big year It was a big year for paedophile movies Surviving R Kelly Leaving Neverland 2 Popes Shut up Shut up I don't care I don't care Many talented people of colour were snubbed in major categories Unfortunately there's nothing we can do about that The Hollywood foreign press are all very very racist So 5th time So We were going to do an In Memoriam this year but when I saw the list of people that had died it wasn't diverse enough It just no It was mostly white people And I thought nah not on my watch Maybe next year Let's see what happens No one cares about movies anymore No one goes to the cinema No one really watches network TV Everyone's watching Netflix This show should just be me coming out going well done Netflix You win everything Good night But no No we gotta drag it out for 3 hours You could binge watch the entire first season of Afterlife instead of watching this show That's a show about a man who wants to kill himself because his wife dies of cancer And it's still more fun than this okay Spoiler alert season 2 is on the way so in the end he obviously didn't kill himself Just like Jeffrey Epstein Shut up I know he's your friend but I don't care You had to make your own way here in your own plane didn't you Right but seriously most films are awful lazy remakes sequels I've heard a rumour that there might be a sequel to Sophie's Choice I mean that'd just be Meryl Streep going well it's got to be this one then All the best actors have jumped to Netflix and HBO you know And the actors who just do Hollywood movies now do fantasy adventure nonsense They wear masks and capes and really tight costumes Their job isn't acting anymore It's going to the gym twice a day and taking steroids really Have we got an award for most ripped junkies No No point We know he'd win that Martin Scorsese the greatest living director made the news for his controversial comments about the Marvel franchise He said they're not real cinema and they remind him of theme parks I agree Although I don't know what he's doing hanging around theme parks He's not big enough to go on the rides is he He's tiny Right The Irishman was amazing It was amazing It was It was great Long but amazing It wasn't the only epic movie Once upon a time in Hollywood nearly 3 hours long Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the end his date was too old for him So even prince andrew's like come on leo mate you know you're nearly 50 son um The world got to see James Corden as a fat pussy He was also in the movie Cats but no one saw that And the reviews oh shocking I saw one that said this is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs right LAUGHTER but dame judy dench defended the film saying it was the role she was born to play because she i can't do this next joke because she loves nothing better than plunking herself down on the carpet lifting her leg and licking her own minge Furball furball She's old school It's the last time who cares Oh Apple roared into the TV game with a morning show A superb drama yeah A superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing made by a company that runs sweatshops in China So well you say you're woke but the companies you work for I mean unbelievable Apple Amazon Disney If ISIS started a streaming service you'd call your agent wouldn't you If you do win an award tonight don't use it as a platform to make a political speech right You're in no position to lecture the public about anything You know nothing about the real world Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg So if you win right Come up accept your little award thank your agent and your god and fuck off Okay So It's already 3 hours long Right let's do the first award The first award the first award is for best actor in a television series musical or comedy to present the award are a couple of actors off the telly what can i say jennifer aniston and reese witherspoon In a little while we're going to see a short clip from the Irishman It's 88 minutes long In the meantime here are Sofia Vergara and Matt Bomer Welcome back Still having a good time Good As you know the meal tonight was all vegetables as are the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Please welcome their president Lorenzo Soria Knives Out has 3 nominations tonight See what can happen if you don't dress people up as cats It's that easy Here are 2 of the nominated stars Ana de Armas and Daniel Craig I've got nothing negative to say about these next 2 presenters because the big one could snap me in half So please welcome Zoe Kravitz and Jason Momoa Kill me We're nearly done Jesus It's already Right Last one Last one Come on guys Our next presenter starred in Netflix's bird box a movie where people survive by acting like they don't see a thing Sort of like working for Harvey Weinstein You did it you I didn't you did it shut the fuck up Please welcome Sandra Bullock That's it Good night Thank you Please donate to Australia Have a great time Get drunk Take your drugs
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