PM Buys a Mansion (When You Can’t)

As many of you would know in Australia, our dear leader, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, grew up in public housing with his single mother, who was a disability pensioner. He’s spoken about this on numerous occasions, I guess to show that he is just like you and me, an Everyman who has experienced challenges and hardship. Oh, it’s a heart-wrenching story.

I’m not sure how I know all this information. On his website for example, “Anthony’s Story”, “A working class kid from a council flat”, “This is what drives me”, “A working class boy from council housing”, “Anthony was born to a single mum in council housing”, “Social justice and fairness”, “Social justice for all!”, “I will stand up for working-class people”, “His mum spent much of her life on a disability pension after her joints were cripped with arthritis.” Cripped? “It says a great thing about our nation that the son of a parent who grew up in a council house could be Deputy Prime Minister.”, “No one is held back, and no one is left behind!” A better future for ALL Australians!

On X, he tweets, “We lived in council housing”. On Facebook, “I grew up in public housing”, “This is the council house where I grew up”, “I grew up in public housing”, “I grew up in this public housing”. I could literally go on for hours. Heck, even the Encyclopedia Britannica (don’t worry, it’s been fact-checked), “only son of a single mother…grew up in public housing”. F**k me!

So it may come as a bit of a surprise to many of you that during this cost of living crisis, when barely anybody can afford a house, or pay the rent, or struggling to pay their mortgage, the boy who grew up in public housing with a single, disability-support pensioner mother, has bought a house! Not just any house, a massive house! $4.3 million clifftop home on the New South Wales Central Coast. Apparently he paid $300,000 less than the previous sale price. Remember, “She taught me how to save – and how to spend wisely – because every dollar counts.” It sure does! Oh, it’s a lovely house. Sweeping, majestic views of the ocean. Waking up to the sounds of clifftop-ocean living. Described as, “A premiere location to enjoy sun, whale watching or spectacular sunsets year-round.” I wish I could wake up to whale watching.

When asked why he did it, the PM simply said, “I understand I am fortunate. I also know what it is like to struggle. My mum lived in public housing…” F**k, really? I didn’t know that. When did you ever tell us that?

Okay, joking aside. Is the Prime Minister allowed to buy a house? Yes. Is the PM allowed to save up his money and buy nice things? Of course. Is it unethical for prime ministers to buy expensive houses? Well, not really in a capitalist country like Australia. But was it good timing, politically speaking? Hell no! It was awful timing. Buying an expensive house during a cost of living crisis six months before a cost-of-living election, is one of the more stupid decisions Albo has ever made. Now that’s not me calling him stupid, but it’s tone-deaf, to say the least.

And it’s not just me saying this. Of course, the right-leaning media are all over this like piranhas on a gazelle. “Colleagues warned Albanese against home purchase”, “Prime Minister’s ‘judgement is wrong’ after $4.3 million cliffside home purchase”, “Backlash erupts after PM buys clifftop mansion”. But also, the left-leaning media are questioning his decision. ABC: “The prime minister’s new beach house has just made his job — and his colleagues’ — much harder”, BBC: “Backlash after Australia PM buys A$4.3m house amid housing crisis”. Yes, it made international news. The Guardian: “Why couldn’t the PM just enjoy Kirribilli’s harbour views for another six months and then go property shopping? Colleagues are right to feel dismayed by Anthony Albanese's tone-deaf decision… The ‘battler from Marrickville’ trope rings hollow when you’re having to defend the timber-lined cathedral ceilings of your third property.”

And I agree with The Guardian on this one. The PM should have waited till the next election. If he gets voted out, then he can buy as many houses as he likes. If he gets re-elected, then buying a house early on in the election cycle is much less damaging.

The ABC are reporting that recent polling shows that the Coalition have taken the lead surpassing a psychological milestone, 51% to 49% on a two-party preferred basis. Is this self-sabotage what the PM is doing? Perhaps he doesn’t really want this job? It is a hard job, to be fair. I don’t think I could ever do it.

Opposition leader Peter Dutton is also a property investor and has said little about the PM’s recent purchase, but he doesn’t need to. It seems if you just give the PM enough rope, he’ll take care of the rest.

Sorry PM, although you’re allowed to buy clifftop houses, buying them when 80% of Australians view home ownership as unattainable for young people, was just a stupid, stupid mistake.

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Allégro by Emmit Fenn