Day 250 of Sobriety: Max McNown's 'A Lot More Free' Sparks Deep Reflection on Love and Addiction

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On Day 250 of my sobriety journey, I chose to listen to Max McNown's "A Lot More Free." It felt like the perfect song to mark this milestone. The day was going well, but then I got an unexpected call from my ex in the afternoon, and it stirred up a lot of emotions. If there’s one area where I struggle the most, it’s love relationships. I often say that my biggest triggers are boredom and women, but much like drugs, it’s not the thing itself—it’s the combination with me that makes it difficult.

When I’m in a relationship, I become very weak and even a bit of a coward. I know this ties back to my childhood and being an adoptee. I’m much better off single; I feel more in control of my life. But as soon as I enter a relationship, things spiral, and I’ve often turned to drugs to cope. I’ve learned this the hard way, which is why I’ve made the choice to stay single now. Thankfully, I enjoy being single, but the emotional pull is still there at times.

This song is the perfect reflection of my journey with addiction. In a way, drugs were my longest and most destructive love affair—from the initial rush of falling in love to the painful realization that it was only making things worse. Max McNown captures this perfectly with "A Lot More Free," and I couldn’t have picked a better song for today.

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Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing.

DISPUTE PROMPT:

This is my musical reaction, breakdown, and commentary analysis of the song. I intend no copyright infringement and this is not a replacement for listening to the song.

All the videos, songs, images, and graphics used in the video belong to their respective owners and I or this channel does not claim any right over them.

Copyright Disclaimer under section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing.

Martin Hagström