A day exploring Brighton and in search of my Soul

A day exploring Brighton and looking for my soul
By Alessandro Carosi

Last sunday i went to Brighton that is one of my favourite town in England and the one that remind me more about Auckland in New Zealand a city that have been really important for me and i love,it was a sunny day and especially in the morning warm,i have been to Brighton many time but this time was the first time i would spend some time exploring the town itself,the purpose of it was to understand the town better,to have an idea about where i might move to live in the future if i decide to stay in U.K.

The day wasn’t just a day exploring outside but became a day exploring myself,deep inside my soul,have been a while now that something isn’t right about myself,something wrong with my soul,the soul i felt so close to me and in touch with me now it feel so far,i’m trying to get it back but some days it feel like so hard to achieve,have been a while i’m not myself anymore,anxiety is becoming my best mate and a lot of other mates coming to join the party,fear,hopelessness,doubts,insecurity,i don’t really know what is going on cause my life is good right now,isn’t perfect but i have a lot of the things i wanted,i do the job i like,i live in a nice house with great people,i have a lot of friends that always looking for me,i live in an amazing city and in a wonderful country but still i can’t find that inner peace,all of this is confirming me something i always knew but never wanted to understand and now i’m forced to understand,doesn’t matter if i get what i want in life but if i don’t learn to control my emotions i will never reach that inner peace i have been lucky to experience many time,that beautiful feeling of calmness and peace that made me understand so much about life but that i’m never able to keep for long time,sunday was a time of exploring,especially exploring myself,for the entire day meanwhile i was discovering Brighton i was deeply trying to understand what i want from life and what life wants from me.

When i arrived in the morning early i decided that at first i would have a walk in my favourite part of the city that is by the seaside heading to Newhaven,is a beautiful walk that if done all by the seaside it takes you to a beautiful area before reach newhaven where you get the chance to walk on the top of a high cliff with a stunning view of the sea and the towns along the sea,its stunning and really spiritual,at least for me,every time i get there i feel the energy,the good energy of this planet,this time it made me think so much,what i’m doing here in life,why i’m going trough this hard time,mentally and emotionally,in all those years i have been lucky to experience things that taught me a lot and taught me that life is always trying to make us better people but when hard times comes is really tough to keep being positive and seeing the bigger picture,i know there is a bigger picture i can’t see at the moment but still is hard,i was at the top of this high cliff,the wind was really strong pushing the waves loudly against the rocks,a thought crossed my mind,what if i just jump,only one jump and all of this is over,in few seconds i will hit the rocks and i will feel no pain,physically and emotionally,i walked near the edge stayed few seconds and then i thought,i can’t,i can’t,all of those years trying to become a better person,all of those years telling people that life is all about love,all of those years i could experience personally how when we are in touch with love everything is possible,all of those years trying to teach people about how enjoy life in a more meaningful way,this blog i started to contribute with my life experiences to hopefully improve and help other souls out there,how i could do something like this,i know life is much more,i know that what’s going on in my life is partially my fault,i know that if i work hard to find my soul again i will find happiness again,because i already experienced many time,i need to go trough this time to be a good example for others but only going trough our personal hell we can be able to teach others to live a happier life,i’m in this game called life like many others and i made a decision years ago that before the end i wanted to help as many people as possible in the best way i can,i won’t tell people what life is,or which God is the right one cause i don’t really know but i know for sure that if we focus on Love life become a beautiful dream,everything will fall into place but there is only one way and is to find within the inner peace,to find within the love that we all have,so no shortcuts for me,i’m not afraid to die,not at all but i’m afraid to miss the opportunity to make other people happier and make my life happier,so i stepped back the cliff edge and kept walking enjoying my day.

Brighton is a wonderful city full of good energy,artists,young,and open minded people,the best ingredients for a visit or permanently live there.