Why Do You Care So Much About What Others Think? 🤔 The Truth Hurts!

Why do you care so much about what other people think?

This week, licensed therapist Kati Morton offers ways that we can care a little less about what other people think of us, how to stop emotional eating, and the ways we can use somatic responses to release anxiety and stress. She then helps motivate us to keep going when it feels like nothing is working, how we can better deal with having an invisible illness, and how to get unstuck in our life.

Ask Kati Anything - episode 228 audience questions:

1. How can I learn to care a little less about what others think of me - specifically, about being liked by *everyone*. It's exhausting. I'm obsessed with making sure that everyone thinks I'm a "nice" person, a "good" person, and the thought of someone being mad at me is really distressing. Worse, I notice that if I even think someone doesn't like me (which might not even be true!), I double stress and try extra hard to win them over... 01:20

2. How is it possible to stop emotional eating? I often see myself eating when stressed, for example. And for some reason, if I buy chocolate, I eat the whole thing in a day. Which wouldn't mind me so much if it didn't mean that I have nothing for the next day, additionally to me feeling absolutely sick after. 12:18

3. Hi Kati, can you talk about somatic responses to stress/anxiety? How does one manage this? 17:43

4. I’ve been made homeless because my relationship has broken down so I’m currently on the streets and charging my phone in McDonald’s. The reason my relationship has broken down is because of my trauma, I’ve had it all. Childhood SA, physical abuse, neglect, a narcissistic parent and a drug addicted parent, emotional abuse, gained an ED as a child from my mom. I can’t be around so many things without being triggered into flashbacks, I can’t have sex because of trauma, I’m too scared of men, I still struggle with eating and I self harm. I have been trying so hard working with my therapist, but recovery seems impossible and I’m wondering if it will ever get better? Will I ever recover? 24:03

5. How to deal with an invisible illness? Especially when I'm the invisible child in my family (I'm 40). I have dysautonomia after covid and pneumonia.... tachycardia, POTS, extreme fatigue, heat intolerance, shortness of breath, muscle deterioration, brain fog, costochondritis, among other things. It's been 2.5 years of absolute hell. My family sees me breathing and standing and "I'm not dead", so I must be making it up or exaggerating. Or I'm told constantly to "just calm down" and "it's just anxiety." I've been invisible and unheard in my family my whole life, as the youngest child. I'm never taken seriously, silenced if I offer an opinion, shut down if I offer to help. My family has no compassion for others, always victim blaming. And unfortunately these have been my caretakers, which I am grateful for, but their lack of empathy comes off as cruel. 29:14

6. I’m divorced 4 years after a 30 year marriage and now that I’m past the anger and resentment of betrayal we get along, which feels better in my body and is easier on our grown kids and few mutual friends. It was a confusing relationship and even more confusing breakup but I feel like I’m on solid ground now except that I cannot seem to connect with anyone on a romantic level. I see friends all around me meeting, dating, connecting, falling in love and I feel like a mere spectator. I’m at peace but lonely and I feel stuck. My career has faltered as well. I don’t know how to get out of my comfort zone. I need to, however, my job depends on it (I’m in sales) and I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. How does one become unstuck? 37:51

PUBLISHED BOOKS
Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month)
PARTNERSHIPS
Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com