In pursuit of the ideal: how sex affects the search for a partner

2 months ago
48

In pursuit of the ideal: how sex affects the search for a partner
Is it not the first time in your life that you are looking for a partner? Are you actively looking for and not by chance, but on dating sites?
Do you have certain expectations from a potential partner?
As the questionnaires on dating sites show: reliability, as well as physical attractiveness, physical fitness, money, success and a certain status are very in demand.
Your profile on dating sites is your mirror of desires

Take a look at a typical profile on a dating site.

What do you see?

Reliability, physical attractiveness, good shape, financial stability, success - these are the key "ingredients" of an ideal partner, according to many. Often, such requirements reflect deep needs and aspirations that may be conditioned by both your personal experience and social stereotypes.

Dating sites and who we meet on it: a psychologist's view
Finding a partner: what role does sex play in this?

Finding a partner is a struggle for sexual resources, and this can continue to have an impact even if two people fall in love with each other and stay together.

The sex market is a complex cultural phenomenon characterized by a multitude of social rituals, deceptions and expectations, a wide variety of desires and requirements for potential partners and economic interests.

According to evolutionary psychology:
Women's reproductive success primarily depends on a stable partnership
Men, on the contrary, want to have sex as often as possible.
First of all, the partner market is a market similar to others, namely characterized by supply and demand.
Women looking for a partner try to be more attractive and better than other women in order to attract the attention of a desired partner. They also indirectly offer sex.
This is evidenced by a number of studies:
In one of them, the more attractive participants recommended a more conservative outfit to other women, that is, potential competitors when looking for a partner for a relationship, and chose clothes for themselves that emphasized their attractiveness.
In another study on online dating and partner search, participants were asked to rate the profiles of partners and themselves according to various criteria such as attractiveness, personality or intelligence.
One group was informed that there seemed to be much more women traveling than men. In their questionnaires, these subjects paid significantly more attention to a slim figure, sexual attractiveness and good looks than the rest, who were told other information that there is an excess of men traveling.
The situation with men is somewhat different.
They are more often looking for sex in partnership and offer resources such as success and money in return.
They also compete with other men, but less individually and more in groups, such as in companies, institutions, or sports.
It's about survival in the struggle for resources such as money, success and recognition.
Hierarchies are formed within teams and groups, and the best team members are supported by others so that the group as a whole is successful. And it also promises greater success to the individual
Both women and men at the beginning of a relationship unconsciously seem to promise their partners that they will meet each other's expectations.
This means that we are talking about a deal: men demonstrate to their preferred candidate that they are willing to invest their resources in their future partnership and family and expect women to have sex in return.
But sexual expectations may not be fulfilled during the development of a relationship. In long-term relationships, men are more likely to want sex than women. When it comes to sex, dissatisfaction can arise on both sides.
Love and affection do not arise immediately, it is a complex psychological process that can be based on the formation of common interests, values and reaching mutual understanding in a couple.
Finding a partner is a personal journey. And how it will be depends on you.

Loading comments...