When a Christian thinks God is evil but cannot say it aloud: Part 5

All I ever do on this channel is vent. Perhaps I started out caring about an audience, but seeing the low view count, I’ve begun to stop caring, and maybe that’s a good thing. The thing I’m disillusioned with is that this faith didn’t get people to see objective truth but fall in line with dictates. That’s the biggest reason why I say God is evil. (By “God” I am referring to the popular conception of an external God who is in reality the prince of the power of the air giving us pain, sickness, trouble and suffering.) The Bible is correct but sadly somehow not everyone who reads it loves the truth enough to say it. Okay, maybe it’s because of the warped idea of love being tell your neighbour about brimstone and hellfire and then expect them to fall on their knees. But to be honest, how are we loving or unloving in telling people about hell and heaven when we haven’t experienced either ourselves? Or had out of body experiences? I think that’s the biggest sticking point to lack of conversions—if your God is so great, why would he let the nice Hare Krishna person go to hell while the vilest criminal who calls on Jesus name is so called saved on the cross? Maybe we don’t really understand what it is to call on the name of the Lord because of one simple thing: I know too many people who prayed hard and believed they trusted in God but ended up with no answers to prayers, and I’m saying this with conviction because I was one such person who prayed for God to intercede only to have the opposite happen to me. Obviously it’s too personal to share here. But it certainly made me wonder if this God shows favoritism, and I watch my family members have prayers answered in the affirmative while mine are NO! NO! A Hard And Rock Solid Boner No! All the tangible evidence say no so who am I to be delusional and say yes? so the way I called upon the Lord is not the same as how others called upon the Lord?! Is it that insane? I believe so. When I defied standard Christian dating advice by manifesting Mr dumpling, I didn’t know whether it would work, but I had nothing more to lose. He’s a unique boy to me in many ways. Now that I’ve got him, though, I’m afraid if he knows my real scathing thoughts on the Christian faith I would make him very unhappy. Or not. I mean, he’s had his share of criticism from fellow Christians as well. But all I know is the doctrines I have held fast since childhood have utterly failed to make people see objective and ultimate truth, and even worse have been hampering me from getting what I want but people in the manifestation world, while not all love or light, and a lot of them use profanity liberally, but the thing is they get what they want, and more smoothly than if they played the good Christian boy or girl and denied themselves of reaching their potential in the name of being holy and saved. I can tell you for a fact that I would rather realise my desires than be saved only to be told my desires are bad bad and so bad I have to denounce them like the devil and so on. Not all desires are bad, but when your experience has been that 99% of the things you want are met with discouragement and the only 1% that you got from the good God was a toned down massaged version of your original desires, you really seriously can’t help wondering what kind of God answers such puny prayers while denying you the bigger bolder requests… unless those big bold requests are about wrecking your life. Like, remember whoever told you never to pray for patience, or else your life with be a series of trials testing your patience!!! Anyway, I would really rather die on the hill of preaching the gospel except that I don’t believe in a gospel that makes people scared to dream or desire the best they can dream up for their life or better. I want a gospel of empowerment not just in the life to come, but also in this life, and sadly modern and postmodern Christianity have done such a lousy job at it that folks in law of attraction and alternative faiths have become more attractive. And manifestation. Next time if I feel the topic of God is evil is overdone, then I’ll talk about the wonders of the internal God. Ciao.

Video by Tima Miroshnichenko: https://www.pexels.com/video/a-female-boss-showing-anger-in-a-video-call-5717012/
Video by RDNE Stock project: https://www.pexels.com/video/women-ignoring-their-classmate-8419353/
Video by Anna Tarazevich: https://www.pexels.com/video/a-stressed-woman-showing-frustrations-while-using-laptop-6189269/
Video by Miguel Á. Padriñán: https://www.pexels.com/video/a-dynamic-screensaver-with-angry-emojis-16092905/
Video by Rob Cot: https://www.pexels.com/video/person-locking-the-door-with-a-key-2070044/
Video by Kings: https://www.pexels.com/video/a-bottle-of-marbles-thrown-on-a-wooden-flooring-1585733/