Cyclist fights off gang of thieves in brazen daylight attack

Keir Starmer’s lawless Britain continues to surprise no one, this time in the Midlands town of West Bromwich (imagine Birmingham, only smaller and worse). A video of a gang’s attack on a biker in broad daylight has been widely shared on social media over the past week. The cyclist, a man of Polish descent in his 50s, courageously defended himself against a gang of robbers who attempted to steal his e-bike. The incident, captured on the cyclist's action camera, occurred when several young men on scooters surrounded him, forcing him onto the pavement. The group appeared to be armed with knives and hammers. Despite being shoved to the ground, the cyclist fought back and sprayed a red liquid at the assailants, causing them to flee. The red spray – which appeared to be ‘Farb-Gel’ – is used as a non-lethal, legal way of tagging criminals for later identification (assuming they don’t get arrested for mean tweets first).

Following the release of the footage online, four individuals connected to this incident, and a string of other robberies in the area, were arrested. The suspects, two men aged 20 and two teenage boys aged 17 and 18, were apprehended after reports of them loading a stolen bike into a taxi. The West Midlands Police are holding them in custody for questioning and have urged the public to report any suspicious activity. As long as they do it politely, though, you know what Starmer’s like.