The Dangers of Helping

Could you explain the motivation behind some people’s need to give other people “shit”?
There have been instances at work where I ask my peers for assistance and they flat out tell me no with a straight face. They then agree to help and say the were just giving me “shit”. It sometimes feels personal.

Ahoy Stef!! I have spoken to people in the past who clearly have “delusions of grandeur”, which I think feeds into their narcissism or ameliorates their shortcomings, but I admire people with a grandiose vision for their future. How do you go about helping someone determine whether or not their life aspirations are realistic? thanks so much king

Stef would you say it is a rational decision for a single mom to start an OnlyFans account to support herself and her baby? Stef I am referring to of course the fact that women in the West are entitled of up to 100k in money and benefits to care for her child. Given that taxation is theft and a substantial amount of taxation goes to single moms and her children, in these particular circumstances Stef would you say it is actually more moral for a woman to do OnlyFans instead of extracting money from taxpayers that are generally paid for by hardworking men, who consequently have less money to attract a wife & start their own family. To clarify in a previous question I asked you Stef in the recent episode ‘The temptations of flesh’, Stef you clarified that nudity and the display of flesh is not itself immoral you just categorised the display of flesh as being a giant red flag that signals a woman has nothing more to offer than her flesh

just got a job doing something I love, I’m working really hard, I’m good at it. turns out my boss is passive aggressive, now he is getting angry, while walking away when I showed him my solution to a problem we have. It’s bizarre. I might have to quit. what is passive aggressive behaviour all about? I’m walking on eggshells atm trying to guess if I have done good thing or bad thing!

Hi Stefan. I often suffer from anxiety in conversations. Specifically I have a fear that I am being boring. Which in my mind becomes a massive issue. I was having a conversation with you yesterday, you said you were finding the conversation interesting, as was I and no one else had wanted to ask a question. I read through the comments afterwards and a couple of people had stated they were bored. This made me feel just awful and my first instinct was basically to leave and never come back. My question is why did this bother me so much?

hey Stefan....I recently sold 2 beloved horses I've had for 15yrs...I no longer can ride them due to back issues and I've been holding on to them just because I felt terrible for selling them...being fearful they will be abused or mistreated. i know logically I made the right decision because the new owner is going to give them a proper life and use them but emotionally I feel sad and depressed...especially 1st thing in the morning when i go out to the barn to feed all the animals and their presence is no longer there..my question to u Stefan is.....in life when it comes to these kinds of decisions will it always be the case....you are darned if u do and darned if u dont....either decision u make will there be a lingering regret???? I totally understand this is a 1st world problem and I need to realize there are soooooo many more difficult things to worry or get upset about.....I try to snap back into a that reality and ground myself again....thank you for ur time and endless education

regarding the last episode about codependency - what to do if one has a high codependency score (based on the questionnaire)?

Are you planning on translating "Peaceful Parenting" into other languages? I've got a few acquaintances that could use the knowledge, but they don't speak English. If you are going to translate it, into what languages are you going to do it, and would you like some help? :)

I would like to know if you have an opinion on people who lack empathy and as a result have harmed others. Warren Farrell says that empathy generally is taught to children in general by their fathers, and perhaps if a person was raised without the presence of a strong father, simply does not have much empathy, and does not even know or understand that they may have done harm to other people. Since they are in the unknown, they may never offer an apology. Should these people just be avoided, because if that window of brain development lacked the teaching necessary to confer empathy, they are now rigidly fixed and will never change. Or do you think that there is some neuroplasticity and with philosophy, therapy or some other kind of intervention, these kind of people can be changed and be able to participate in healthy relationships? Thank you.

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