Col. Douglas Macgregor _How the Ukraine War Will End

but I feel I'm 30 I went I was 31 when I

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went to Coachella this year and I felt

like the old guy there and I was

uncomfortable talking to people right

like I don't know anybody's age I was

kind of like weirded out and my boy

comes up to me goes hey man if you don't

know anybody's age ask them if they

remember

911 I'm like what he goes yeah cuz if

they remember 9/11 they're old enough to

drink you're not being a creep you can

have a conversation with them it's

perfectly fine and I'm like that's

actually really good advice except for

like this isn't the

face of a guy who can just go up to some

chick in a crowded area and be like hey

do you remember 9/11 like

that's she'd be terrified you know she

she'd probably never forget okay

let's now you might think this is silly

but I assure you it's absolutely

true when Zayn left one direction for me

it was like

911 yeah I didn't care about that

[Applause]

either well there's a real generational

divide there I could

see some people are looking at me like

9/11 steady on and other people are

looking at me like One Direction don't

take their name in

[Applause]

vain I was actually supposed to be on

one of the planes on 9/11 but the more

interesting story is how I met a

Sarma hey for the ninth consecutive year

Nick Jet Blue Air airlines rank first

for satisfaction among all North

American Airlines but you know what

ranked least in satisfaction

911 Airlines what a terrible name for an

airline it reminds me of that

tragedy oh 911 yeah I don't laugh at 911

again I try to tell him not to laugh I

know I Walk Through Blood and Bones in

the streets of

Manhattan trying to find my brother

Jesus yeah he was in Northern

Canada look at this comedy on 9/11 you

pieces of

[ __ ] I mean absolute [ __ ]

garbage you want to laugh what are you

Isis what the [ __ ] go

home do people not get it do you not get

it I'm in the back of the comedy club

somebody offered me hummus I was like

not

today not

today I'll take it 364 days of the year

not today

this kid's triggered what shut up

Bill the [ __ ]

up ladies

um were you there where were you 911

[ __ ]

Connecticut where were you Chicago [ __ ]

you not even

close I was here God damn it me I want

everybody to relax on that Mama bin L

[ __ ] I'm going to handle the [ __ ] myself

cuz I can't understand how they can't

find a [ __ ] 6'6 with a nappy

beard and a towel on his head but they

can find my cousin 41 in

com you know what I mean the

[ __ ] worth half a billion

dollars look for the cave with the

satellite hook up if a rollsroyce is

parked in front of the cave [ __ ]

probably in there if you walk in the

cave and he got Del paintings of Sadam

Hussein think the [ __ ] in there who the

[ __ ] they got hunting this [ __ ]

GMA pal oh no no Ben L Ben L I knew you

was around here we going to get

you told you I find him myself [ __ ]

give me five Bloods five Crips four

Mexicans and three rednecks this [ __ ]

would have been over [ __ ] and Mexicans

we have went over there and stole all

the tracks off their tanks [ __ ] they

tanks be on bricks [ __ ] come back home

[ __ ] who want some tank tracks and you

know rednecks love hunting [ __ ] redneck

you get that [ __ ] 30 out 6 with

a scope on it he can hit a fly for D it

500 yard they don't [ __ ] around and they

all got a hunting dog named

pey you know them poter [ __ ]

[ __ ] red [ __ ] like you got in that

goddamn clothes with that boy scent on

it take a wh of that

py smell it good boy we're going in

[ __ ] you drop their ass off in

Afghanistan pety going to point at the

right cave [ __ ] in

there [ __ ] in there I'm selling

cuz I know when them first flights went

down what no [ __ ] on them flights

[ __ ] am I ly [ __ ] wouldn't have went

down like that you know what I'm saying

cuz them flights were from Boston to La

you know how long a [ __ ] have to save

up for a ticket from Boston to La [ __ ]

[ __ ] would have been on the plane we

ain't making no [ __ ] you

turn [ __ ] you talking about [ __ ] I

saved up for these tickets for 2 years

all that [ __ ] got is a box

cutter [ __ ] we grew up in the projects

we done been in a night fight

before you know what I'm saying [ __ ] be

like what's cracking [ __ ] [ __ ] we talk

on the show the [ __ ] made [ __ ]

[ __ ] would have whooped his ass and cut

him up with his own [ __ ] and walked

right to the pilot

[Applause]

bullet yeah uh everything out here

cool oh they ain't [ __ ] with nobody

else look we was wondering if we could

get some free

drinks cuz people kind of

nervous cuz you know a [ __ ] going to

get the hook up [ __ ] I traveled right

after the [ __ ] happened [ __ ] I had a

show in Boston so [ __ ] we leaving

Boston [ __ ] we getting on the plane

[ __ ] we seen one of them ins

[ __ ] you know I know now how

white people look at [ __ ] white people

are I understand cuz I never thought I

would be racist [ __ ] but I see that tow

[ __ ] [ __ ] nervous now you know white

people look at a [ __ ] they're going to

try something hold your purse there come

on [ __ ] I see one of them tows that

[ __ ] up to something so I'm at

the airport [ __ ] and I see the tow

[ __ ] [ __ ] this is when I knew

America was starting to work on racism

cuz I called a

huddle [ __ ] the redneck came over the

Latino brother came over even the little

Asian dude showed up [ __ ] I said come

here man I said y'all see that

[ __ ] over there that

[ __ ] make one wrong move we

[ __ ] him up think red is like you're

goddamn right

boy stick my foot so far up his ass

he'll be eating Sho L before we a little

Latin your brother I'm a cut him

home [ __ ] at even a little Asian i c him

three four times kick him in head I was

like all right Jackie Chan you

down but y'all ain't got to worry about

that [ __ ] ever again cuz cuz they can

only get away with that [ __ ] that one

time cuz they done woke up

everybody [ __ ] you get on the flight

now trying to [ __ ] up it'll be old white

women getting up not today

[Applause]

sunny take my teeth out my man bite your

ass to NPR at breakfast the other

morning and there's this one story where

they kept using this phrase they kept

saying 911 deniers they kept saying that

deniers and my daughter was like what is

that and I said well it's a group of

people that think September 11th was a

conspiracy and she said Oh I thought

they were saying 91

deniers yeah she thought they meant nine

people who just ain't buying this 11

[ __ ] just a uh small Fringe group

really there's only nine of

them but they still got an NPR they got

on the radio because they're

dedicated they protest every

day they're the 911

deniers they're outside of the White

House it goes 10

1213 me and my eight friends know

it we are the 911

deniers we know that 11 is a [ __ ]

number propagated on the People by the

man why do we have

11 when we have

13 and 14 and

17 [ __ ] 18 18 and

19 but we do not have a one

team what happened to one

team the government took one team and

replaced it with some [ __ ] called

11 we are the nine that deny that

[ __ ] Mr President give us back

[Music]

one I don't mean to offend any Chinese

people with the

stereotype

but that's right I'm Chinese

[ __ ] I'm from

Beijing I lived in

Shanghai I'm chiner than a

[ __ ] I actually did some C my

22nd birthday just the night before

because uh I have a buddy who's got a

birthday September 10th my birthday

September 11th so every year we would go

out on the night of September 10th and

celebrate both of our birthdays now that

year we went out uh and we all drank a

great deal of alcohol and one of the

guys actually went home with someone he

normally wouldn't have gone home with

that guy worked in the World Trade

Center oh she took forever to get into

the apartment in the

morning he was one of the people who as

he got there the first Tower fell and he

was running from the rubble and ended up

being safe and we're like holy [ __ ] we

thought hooking up with that girl was

going to kill

you who knew is that real 100% real I

think I've sorted out the credit

crunch I thought you'd be pleased no I

genuinely I think I've sorted out the

credit crunch you know what the problem

is with the with the credit crunch as I

as I layman's terms okay the trade the

turnover the cycle of business isn't

happening in the way it was because

businesses and Banks and countries have

gone busted and no one trusts each other

so how are we going to repair this how

are we going to get things started again

get that virtuous circle up and running

I tell you what we do we build a World

Trade

Center I can see you sat there with your

arms crossed thinking that's going to be

a [ __ ] big building we're going to

have two of

them I saw the the chief of the New York

City Police on the news he said we will

never forget 911 I thought it's your

[ __ ] home now it's your phone

number I was flying back from New York

9:25 ba first class to London JFK the

whole week in America leading up to that

flight on every channel on TV there was

a rolling ticket tape that said America

on Red Alert

okay and every bulletin said we have an

Intel that there's going to be another

9/11 this weekend in New York or La do

not fly unless you absolutely have to I

had to I was filming and if you fly be

extra vigilant okay so I'm there I'm the

only one in the first class Lounge right

and I'm still trying to remain

philosophical about it I'm thinking

right today is the day you definitely

don't try and get a bomb on the plane do

you know what I mean you think no

everyone's wait till Monday

right and I'm there and about 15 minutes

before boarding into the first class

Lounge comes this guy I don't know

whether he was North African or middle

eastern but he had all the gear

and beard everything steal a tashe case

okay here's your middle class rational

liberal I go

I'm suddenly just engaging staff in in

name conversation I'm going flight on

time they're going yeah I'm going what's

the weather like in England and they're

going oh it's like they're going to go

oh it's a big CL there he is right it

didn't didn't happen right so now I'm

stewing on this all the things for the

week leading up to it there's going to

be a 911 it's going to be here it's

going to be today it's going to be New

York oh my God right but now I'm in two

minds there's a fight between good and

evil between rational and irrational

okay

so this one goes oh that's a suicide

bomber don't be stupid what do you know

that's what they look

like why' you say that there's a picture

of him on every page of the Daily

Mail that be stupid cliche stupid then

he makes a phone call I can't understand

what he's saying but he sounds a bit

angry right this one goes oh we made a

phone call this one goes you just made a

phone call yeah but not in

foreign was shut shut up

stupid why' you think

that look at the

beard he's been checked he's been

checked the same as us do I check the

beard yeah they check the beard they

check the beard

okay and then I'm sort of it's all going

ahead and I'm sort of looking at him

absentmindedly sort of staring at him

and he catches me looking and he goes

like

this this one goes oh he

knows this one goes no he knows why

you're looking at him he's had that sort

of prejudice that [ __ ] for [ __ ]

months stop looking at him shut the [ __ ]

up right but this one starts winning the

fear starts beating the rational okay

it's going well well I said it would be

today yeah I know but what but the

statistics were they up today aren't

they they're

up yeah but it don't give it it won't

happen to us they said that on 9/11 yeah

but what about all the checks well they

find new ways of getting past our

detections then we have to up our game

and that's how yeah you're right so

suddenly now we're W there and I think

oh my God this is it and you that wave

of noisy when you suddenly go oh my God

this is it I I'm one of the people that

have witnessed is a and they go okay

yeah let's report him this one goes no

we can't why in case someone thinks

we're

racist what what the no let's report him

and be a wrong live racist let's

let's and so I'm there and I think he is

a s Obama I'm going to get on the plane

with him and I'm going to die and I'm

having a little breakdown and I'm nearly

crying and all this happens in a few

moments and I look over and he's joined

by his wife who's got all the gear and

is and there two little girls right and

I go

oh of course he's not a [ __ ] suicide

bomber if you off to see 72 virgins you

don't take the wife and kids along

so and I got on the plane and I was sort

of relieved and embarrassed and I saw

the funny side of it and and of course

he wasn't a terrorist he was a business

man and a family man he was playing with

his little girls who kept running up and

down bumping into my chair he wasn't

doing anything um and he and he was sort

of like scaring him and they were screen

at top of their voice like after half an

hour I was hoping someone would blow the

[ __ ] plane up

right and you know being an Arab I think

we're the least respected minority in

the United States you know black people

they have Black History Month Hispanics

Hispanic Heritage Month like is an erab

i' be happy with one day you know like

yeah

exactly not a good day for us I'm afraid

911 screwed up everything you know it's

like um it did cuz before I was Egyptian

you know like pyramids and camels it's

fun right now Egyptian terrorism like I

could never be a terrorist okay I could

never strap a bomb to my chest seriously

how do you prepare for that you start

off small maybe

sparklers work your way up to the

spinning chicken like oh the colors

they're so beautiful I'm ready for Jihad

let's go come on everybody why not

ban drinking apple juice and

vodka mine's just juice mom screwdriver

Mom this is totally Apple wait a go wait

start

oh easy Tey money rich and bunes [ __ ]

making back with just tell me who your

father is smoking drinking till walking

home like about you like

maybe just Dubai fresh at the plane

looking no fly came D and the

high5 P going to

grease Al count the my

[Music]

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