American Funny Man Searched at Melbourne Airport!

You can’t get more diverse, equitable, and inclusive than Melbourne Victoria. There’s some reports of it being a woke, lefty haven. So it may come as a bit of shock to many of you that American comedian Eric André was racially profiled by customs officers at Melbourne Airport, or at least, so he claims.

In a video he posted on Instagram hash-tagged #whitesupremacyisterrorism, he said, “I got detained. I got pulled out of a line-up and put in a special line in Melbourne where I was sniffed thoroughly by a dog… It’s one of the many times I’ve been racially profiled at the airport. So this is a message for all black, brown and Indigenous people travelling through Melbourne today… please be careful. They are searching black, brown and Indigenous people.”

He then demanded that companies provide him with some kind of escort when he travels to the world’s most dangerous country stating, “Anybody hiring me to work in Australia going forward, whether it’s a production, or a tour, please don’t make me go through the Melbourne Airport alone. Please provide a police escort or some type of security escort for me… I do not feel safe in the Melbourne Airport. I do not want to be humiliated or racially discriminated against anymore at these airports. I don’t want to cut my hair and wear a three-piece suit so that I’m treated like a first class citizen… This is unethical and is not safe. It’s providing a less safe experience for black, brown, Indigenous, and immigrant passengers. It has nothing to do with safety. It has everything to do with racial harassment.”

First of all, I’m not doubting he felt upset, but does he have any proof of these transgressions? Did he wait there all week analysing how many people of various ethnicities they sniff with dogs, what percentages and so on? Unless the officers came up to him and said, “Excuse me sir. You’ve got an Afro and your skin is darker than mine. That’s grounds for being searched.” Anything less than that is just standard, airport security procedure. I’ve been pulled over multiple times, and I don’t even fly that often. Perhaps Mr André didn’t like it, but nor did I. I’d rather not be sniffed by a dog either.

Actually, in the early 2000s, I travelled to Japan a number of times, and I was definitely racially profiled. Every time I landed, the customs officials would make a beeline for me and any other person who didn’t look Japanese, white or black. This one time, this Japanese customs officer went past me with his dog about five or six times until the dog finally sat down beside me. That was evidence enough for him to detain and search me, which him and his team certainly did. To be fair, it was the most polite search I’ve ever experienced. As they were patting me down in a private room, they felt my hip bone. They asked me in Japanese what it was, and the only similar word I knew in Japanese was “bone”. They looked a bit shocked, and thought I was carrying some kind of bone club. They asked if I could remove my shirt to take a closer look and I showed them my hip bone. They laughed, and I laughed, and they told me it was the biggest hip bone they’ve ever seen. They let me go and I was on my way. I certainly wasn’t angry by all this. I just accepted that in Japan, they profiled foreigners.

A spokesperson for Melbourne Airport left a comment on Mr André’s video stating, “Melbourne Airport does not tolerate racism in any form. Melbourne Airport is proudly the gateway to one of the most multicultural cities in the world. We welcome ALL passengers to Melbourne, and we expect everyone to be treated equally.”

Anyway, I don’t think Mr André has any proof whatsoever that he was racially harassed. If anything, he’s given us proof that he likes playing the victim.

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Allégro by Emmit Fenn