TODAY'S NEWS, August 12, 2024

The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow

IN POLITICAL NEWS

1) Niiiiice. President Trump is suing the Department of INJustice over the Mar-a-Lago raid citing "Malicious prosecution and abuse of process."

2) My colleague Seth Keshel has a cold shower for those who believe the Hoax polling associated with Cackles. Here are some sobering statistics about the battleground states for DemoKKKrats. The voter registration trends are CRUSHING for DemoKKKrats. Just for example, last week alone saw a net gain of 1,100 Rs (3:1) in North Carolina. Meanwhile pollster Robert Kahaly has Trump up in every battleground state but one. His AZ result, however, is way too low. Sorry Bob, but Trump will win AZ by a lot more than 1.

3) This sounds totally like people who think they can cheat their way back into power, right? Rutabaga plans pardons for top lieutenants if they leave power. (i.e., WHEN they leave power).

4) Is Pennsylvania trying to prep for the steal? The state warns people "don't expect results right away" on election night." That's ok, ya evil toadlickers. President Trump is gonna take the Quaker State early and ram that oil down your throat. Take as long as you need to admit it.

5) Tampon Timmy had his Howard Dean "Yeeeeaaaaagh" moment at a so-called Cackles AI rally.

6) Efforts are being made, including by Wyoming Congresswoman Margaret Hageman, to stage a "zero-grid" test in Boulder, Colorado in which there would be no fossil fuels at all permitted. Of course, woke and green Boulder is resisting such an offer of a pristine environment that is carbon free.

7) A researcher found that voters are not nearly as "racist" or "sexist" as we think---yet the Hoax News media doesn't want to report that.

8) Iranians hacked a Trump website, but only got "publicly available information." Like Hunter's crack pipe manufacturer, or the size of Cackles kneepads. However, Conservative Treehouse reports that DemoKKKrats have had access to high level documents from a "Trump official" (via the hack?) for "days." This could explain Trump's recent "Lay low" strategy.

9) Count Dooku, Jack Smith, suddenly is not in any hurry to prosecute either the documents case or the J6 case, telling Judge Chutkin (n. synonym "asshole" as in, "That guy is a real Chutkin") to slow down and that the gubment suddenly isn't ready to proceed. Cuz he knows the Supes have cut his gonads off.

10) As many suspected at the time, Rutabaga had a code three medical emergency in Las Vegas last month.

11) The GOP forced the DemoKKKrats' ActBlue to tighten their donation security after Cackles' mysterious $100 million haul.

12) File this under, "But Trump's not doing anything . . ." Lawrence O'Donnel freaked out over Trump's presser. Oh, and vulnerable DemoKKKrats such as Testicles (Montana's John Tester) and Sherrod Brownnose are, well, skipping the DNC. Why would they do that if Cackles is five points ahead?

13) From The Hill: Bubbay should lead an investigation of the Trump assassination attempt.

14) This is encouraging. DNC protests over Gaza and "other concerns" are planned for Benghazi=by-the-Lake (Chicago). And while every scumbag murder-supporting group on the planet gets permits to protest in Chicago, a Jewish group cannot. Oh, and speaking of peaceful and bucolic Benghazi-by-the-Lake, a mere 33 were shot over the weekend and only one died. How tranquil.

15) I genuinely believe some form of justice will come for Ashli Babbitt as well as all the J6 (Patriot Day) prisoners, though too late to help most. A federal judge has ordered an investigation into the Department of INJustice into the wrongful death of Babbitt to continue.

IN ILLEGAL CRIMINAL ALIEN NEWS

16) Texas governor Greg Abbott has ordered Texas hospitals to report the health care costs for illegal criminal aliens. And it seems like it's not only Abbott, but Latinos in the once blue border areas are fed up with DemoKKKrats and are jumping on the Trump Train.

IN CULTURAL NEWS

17) A remarkable but, unfortunately, unsurprising story of massive academic corruption at Oberlin College, the Ohio school that had its ass sued off by a local bakery which it falsely deemed racist. This story involved a Muslim faculty member from Iran who had served as a conspirator and advisor to the radical murderous Iranian radical killers and who was called out on it by families of the dead. Yet even after a series of sexual harassment charges and clear proof this keffiyeh-wearing turdblossom was in Tehran meeting with the blood-soaked Rafsanjani at the times in question, the so-called college turned a blind eye. Finally he just "disappeared" from the faculty. Chilling and nauseating.

18) Cotton-candy burritos are the latest stadium food.

19) After years of putting it off, universities are cutting majors and slashing programs. Not nearly enough, but . . . Gooooooooood.

IN TRANSOID NEWS

20) Big victory in Ohio for children, as a court rules in favor of the state's transoid ban for minors.

21) How Planned Parenthood became one of the nation's largest suppliers of spooge juice (testosterone).

IN ECONOMIC NEWS

22) Some of these companies aren't going to be satisfied until they completely destroy themselves. Disney is one. Now Delta's urinal-muffin of a DEI "officer" says no more "Ladies and Gentlemen" by pilots giving instructions.

23) Marriott has sued a franchisee for allowing its New Kabul (NYC) hotel to be turned into an immigrant shelter. Looks like far from offering resistance, the hotel franchisee tried to get a deal.

24) Google has admitted changing the search results for "Trump assassination." Evil cloven-hooved anal-dwellers.

25) Cisco will lay off thousands in a new round of job cuts in techville.

26) Now the artificial sweetener Equal is found to cause blood clots. Gee, I've been drinking it for 30 years and so far, not a problem. Maybe it's part of Big Obesity, backed by Panera Breada, the House of Death, that is trying to squelch people losing weight.

27) Dallas is exploding into a financial boomtown.

28) As with everything Rutabaga did, his "student loan forgiveness," which has been largely nixed by the Supes, was to re-start soon with an "on-ramp" to get students back in the habit of paying. Trouble is, they have been NOT paying for so long, now there are over 7 million delinquents.

29) Despite Rutabaga, the amazing U.S. oil industry keeps setting records.

IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS

30) The UN chief claims we are in the era of "global boiling." Well, if the lobster fits .

31) In Belarus, Lukashenko, who has been in office since 1994, hints that he may step down: "You should get used to the fact that the next president will be different."

32) The Russkies are spending big on travel and cognac but "this is the last time" insists one analyst who has been saying the same thing for years. Nevertheless, the Russkies evacuated a border region during the latest Uke Battle of the Bulge invasion scenario.

33) A helicopter crashed into a DoubleTree Hotel outside of Queensland, Australia.

34) Counterterrorism forces have been called out for the Taylor Swift concert in London. Guys, I don't think she's THAT big of a threat. What's that? Oh, it's to PROTECT her. Um, ok. Meanwhile, Starmer, Der Londonfuhrer, has started arrtesting people just for watching protests.

35) Skin infections and hepatitis spread in Gaza due to contaminated water. Really? So the Palestinian Authority and the Arabs in the region can't fix that? Maybe they should stop the Hamas Murder Pirates and hand them over.

36) Looks like during these Uke "victories" the Russkies have doubled or tripled the number of tanks and APCs they have.

37) Jennifer Sey correctly notes that Imane Khalif's women's boxing gold medal---he is a man---is a loss for women. . . .

IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

38) Apple TV's "Dynasty: The New England Patriots" is easily up there with "Last Dance" as one of the best sports documentary series ever. Following the New England Patriots' multi-year run to six Super Bowl championships in nine appearances from 2002 to 2019 under owner Robert Kraft, Coach Bill Belichek, and quarterback Tom Brady, the series features the right balance of footage, interviews, and background. Only a couple of times did I think it skipped too much in-between. No team has been accused of cheating as much, or had such outrageously notorious players ("spygate," "deflategate," and Aaron Hernandez's murder conviction).. But no other team has come close to such a high level of performance over such a long period of time. Two of the Super Bowl losses came down to the final few plays and easily could have given New England an 8/9 record. (Of course the same could be said for the immaculate interception against the Stupid Seahawks.) Brady and Kraft were extremely open for the most part, Belichek was an asshole, adding nothing in terms of explanation as to his moves. Kraft's genius in keeping him and Brady together as long as he did was special.

39) The Los Angeles Moron, er, Mayor says the 2028 Olympics will be car free. Well that makes sense. NASCAR has its own competition, and we don't need an Olympic auto competition.

IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS

40) An ex-Navy SEAL commander said that the China Virus vax destroyed the SEALs as 100 trainees quit in 72 hours.

AND FINALLY . . .

41) All you can say to this one is "Here's your sign." A Tesla owner caught both his car and house on fire by plugging directly into a power line. But, I have to admit, this story is a close second, as a food service director at Harvey schools in Illinois pled guilty to stealing $1.5 million in chicken wings. And here's your sign.

Larry Schweikart

Rock drummer, Film maker,NYTimes #1 bestselling author

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