New AI dentist can fit a crown in 15 minutes

Have you ever been to the dentist and thought ‘well, this is all lovely, but it really needs to be much more impersonal, loud and metallic?’ Then good news you weirdo, robot dentists just got invented, ready to shove themselves up a mouth near you. US company Perspective has developed an – all together now - AI-powered robot dentist that can scan, plan and fit a crown in just a quarter of an hour. Yes, no more waiting around for hours while the dentist makes awkward small talk and you make guttural noises trying to tell him ‘I can’t make small talk you fool, I’ve got a dentist in my mouth.’ It’s unclear if the robo-dentist has been programmed to pour that weird pink stuff they make you have.

CEO of Perspective Dr. Chris Ciriello gave a (possibly) AI-powered explanation of his AI-powered robot dentist: ‘this medical breakthrough enhances precision and efficiency of dental procedures, and democratizes access to better dental care, for improved patient experience and clinical outcomes.’ Which is all well and good, but who exactly is fronting the cash for this endeavor? Dr. Edward Zuckerberg, who yes, is Mark Zuckerberg’s dad, and a dentist himself. So, it’s not good enough for the Zuckerbergs to control what we say online, now they want direct access to our mouths. We’re onto you, Zuck.

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