The Roof Is Too Slanted - KIMBERLY CHEATLE - Secret Service (Parody Song)

Song by Brian Coyne
On July 13, 2024, Donald J. Trump was shot in the ear by a would-be assassin while giving a speech at a campaign rally in Butler, PA. Secret Service made a conscious decision not to position an agent on the roof of a neighboring building 150 yards away. My song lyrics sum it up:

Fire Water Burn - Bloodhound Gang (Parody)

The roof, the roof, the roof is too slanted
The roof, the roof, the roof is too slanted
The roof, the roof, the roof is too slanted
We don't need to guard it, let the mother $@%&er climb
Climb mother$@%&er, climb

Hello, my name is Kimberly Cheatle and I'm a dumb white chick
I’m the first female director of the US Secret Service
I don't know if I am really qualified—but I’m friends with the First Lady
But now Trump got shot, and it was on my watch, and an innocent fireman died.

Yeah, this kid climbed on a roof top, plain to see with the naked eye
And lots of people saw him up there, and alerted the cops nearby
Still the shooter fired his weapon barely striking Mr. Trump
And you might ask me why my security detail’s in a slump..(I said)

The roof, the roof, the roof is too slanted
The roof, the roof, the roof is too slanted
The roof, the roof, the roof is too slanted
We don't need to guard it, let the mother $@%&er climb
Climb mother$@%&er, climb

Yo, yo

This hardcore, woke-ass diverse DEI is what we practice
And we don’t discriminate about our agents’ physical fitness
Like, if Trump is six foot three, well then our agent’s 4 foot seven

This honky's gone to Heaven

But if he goes to hell, well, then I hope he burns well
He’ll spend his days with Charles Guiteau, Leon Czolgosz, and Lee Harvey Oswald,
Sirhan Sirhan and John Hinkley, and Guiseppe Zangara
And that saloon-keeper named John Schrank, and that chick who shot J.R.

The roof, the roof, the roof is too slanted
The roof, the roof, the roof is too slanted
The roof, the roof, the roof is too slanted
We don't need to guard it, let the mother $@%&er climb
Climb mother$@%&er, climb

Everybody, here we go
(Fight, fight)
C'mon MAGA people
(Fight, fight)
Throw your hats in the air
(Fight, fight)
C'mon MAGA people
(Fight, fight)
Wear 'em like you don't care
(Fight, fight)
Etc......