Webb v. Meta Platforms on Appeal

What Some People Call “Hell”, They Call “Court”!

[FOB FREEDOM, July 7, 2024] Any station? Any station? Do you read? Over.

Live from the world’s newest banana republic. . .

The Lady Diana rising star partner at the prestigious international law firm, Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe LLP, isn’t putting out any press releases regarding her latest “bet-the-company litigation” for “high profile clients”, after a First Battle of Bull Run against a homeless veteran quickly turned from a ripe for dismissal case involving bizarre conspiracy theories into a nightmare case that even found the presiding jurist lamenting the “protracted history” of the case in her most recent minute order, over a year since the case was filed in the D.C. federal court. True, the D.C. federal court has handled some headline news stories from Johnny Depp and former President Donald Trump to the nine prolife activists convicted under the FACE Act, but a FOIA case, granted priority of civil actions under 42 U.S.C. Section 1657? What went wrong here?

It began with a FOIA request sent to the ultimate original classification authority, the President not long after his COVID-19 pandemic declaration launch of the American Rescue Plan, in which he had said he wanted to “tell the truth” and had assured Americans that if anything went wrong, and it would not, he would acknowledge it. However, shortly after launch, an emergency message arrived: Houston, we have a problem. Apparently, as early as May 7, 2021, CDC had conceded that the launch went off on schedule, but. . .

Even as late as May 2021, the CDC admitted that prerequisite knowledge for developing an effective vaccine remained unknown, transforming the American Rescue Plan into a large sample size, phase three clinical trial, a patent defect the FOIA had attempted to address. But, rather than admitting something was wrong, the commander-in-chief shifted focus, tasking the Intelligence Community to redouble efforts to determine the virus's origins. Unfortunately, the first variant possessed a validated less than five percent secondary attack rate, making both scenarios around which the IC had coalesced mathematically impossible. Oops?

But the show must go on, and now, even attorneys at the Executive Office of the President are scrambling desperately during a presidential election to conduct damage control, on a virus for which, if the infectious dose and/or secondary attack rate are classified, it would have to not only have found origins in a laboratory, but also marked with a stamp: Made in the USA.

“Well, Howard, we had only submitted a simple FOIA, and the White House had a limited range of options on denying the request under only nine exemptions. The best candidates were Exemption One, for classified information, which was the problem statement presented in the simple request, or they could have claimed Exemption Four, for proprietary information like trade secrets. Still, then we are back to square one. They could try to push it up as presidential communication privilege, but the Emergency Use Authorization on March 27, 2020 already told us that this information would at least be classified SECRET. What a predicament,” undisclosed intelligence sources close to the story stated.

Meanwhile the Executive Office of the President is praying that the trial court will dismiss the claims arising from the refusal to respond to the FOIA, kicking the extra liability out the door before admitting the violation of a statutory right, a de minimis harm compared to the fatality count of a virus that beat Hitler in the Holocaust in half the time, and federal regulators are remaining tight-lipped on exactly how many fatalities may have piled up during the phase three clinical trial.

However, in the test case for the religious provisions under the FACE Act is providing some interesting twists as the first civil case ever to be brought since the passage of the enactment in the 1990s. Certainly DOJ has never prosecuted nor proceeded in a civil matter against anyone who had blocked access to church, while Catholic Votes just last year was criticizing the speck in the Attorney General’s eye, missing the plank in their own especially after former Governor Ralph Northam had conceded that he had blocked access to places of worship unlawfully. However, this is the third litigation brought by one “self-described litigation hobbyist” and the first to now make it this far, forcing the courts and the government to define exactly what Republican lawmakers got when they compromised to pass the abortion protection act.

“Well, Howard, the courts have litigated the abortion issue since the 1990s, and most recently we had the criminal prosecutions of the nine prolife activists here in DC. And it has been defined as a strict liability and content neutral law. That means if you block unlawfully you are per se liable. End of case. The folks at DoJ are trying to run the argument that if the plaintiff was blocked on Facebook he would have other options, but that is like telling a person seeking an abortion she has an at-will contract for her right to an abortion, and, upon reasonable notice of someone blocking their access, they can go to some other place that is not blocked. I love the analogy of slavery. You want your property then move to a slave state. And, we only have life, liberty and property, unless you want to be the profligate woman going to court screaming about your rights to pursuit of happiness. Contributory negligence and assumption of risk, Beatch. No remedy at law,” quipped one litigation hobbyist.

Your elected representative is called your elected representative for a reason; and Martin Luther King and Jesus never got elected.

And let’s get ready to RUMBLE! https://rumble.com/vp2uk1-attorneys-need-not-apply-you-have-the-right-to-remain-silent.html.