Episode 2297: Moving Forward in Faith After a Failed Marriage

I had woman IM me with some very hypercritical comments. I grew up with her older brother and they were a great family. As a matter of fact they had one more child that mine at 13 kids. A good faithful Irish Catholic family in the neighborhood. I never really knew her because she was younger than me but she took a couple shots at me. First she asked me what my obsession was with the St Williams parish was because I was posting pictures on the neighborhood site from the 1960’s and I have been know to help the parish out with certain fund raising events. I don’t attend mass there because I am a traditional catholic and she took her first shot at me over that. “Why are you so fixated at a parish you don’t attend”. Well its because that parish made it possible that me and my brother an sisters could attend a catholic school when the finances would only allow for a public school education and so I am paying the parish back. Not to mention I had a great childhood in that parish and to this day my best friends are those from that very parish. Then she started to attack certain priests that were accused of improper acts and how could I support that? She then asked if I was so dedicated to that parish why did I leave it. Then she attacked my marital status and my brother Chris martial status as being divorced. I’m sure she hear about CR, Nightly Rosary and the MPH Novenas at SWC but the net net is she wanted to say “If you such a good Catholic your actions don’t marry your words.”
Her hypercritical comments are par for the course today. Today with social media people type very hurtful things without ever considering are they proper. No more filters, if I feel something I type it out and hit send. In the pre-social media you would have to say it to someone’s face but social media has created what I call “Comment Coward”.
Additionally, those that lose the faith want to kill anything that resembles a faith. She knew nothing about why I left St Williams, nor she didn’t know I was married for 30 years before my wife left me for another man after my Children were either married or about to be married. She knew nothing about me after the age of about 18 years old. But she had to take her shot? Why? Because if someone stands up for the true faith or is trying to defend it, there is a giant mirror reflecting back on them and they are thinking why have, I lost the faith or have no interest in it. Of course I responded to her but at the end asked her to pray for me as I will for her.
Why? As St Thomas Aquinas said: "For those who have faith, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not, no explanation is possible,"
But that exchange was very important for me because I know if I am going to teach the faith to friends, family and strangers I am putting myself out there for Christ. So no matter what life or others throw at you, you must be resilient because Christ was resilient. If we cave at the slightest rebuke then we need to remind ourselves to take up our Cross and carry it. Don’t let a comment coward shake you faith. There is only one whom you need to worry to judge you and your actions and that’s Christ. Let the haters hate and as Christ said “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.”
So as is the case with all divine providence I thought to do this quick episode about this matter even though I did discuss it in previous episodes.
How do we as practicing Catholics move Forward in Faith After a Failed Marriage?
We all know divorce is not permitted in the Catholic Church, but what happens if you did not leave the marriage? As a Catholic do you roll up in a ball and stop practicing the faith? Absolutely not. As a matter of fact you double down knowing that Christs divine providence is testing you and wants to see what you will do. As a matter of fact there are several saints who experienced hard relationships with their spouses, often due to difficult circumstances.
The most notable examples include:
St. Helen (c. 250–c. 330): The mother of Emperor Constantine the Great, St. Helen was separated from her husband, Constantius Chlorus, who divorced her to make a politically advantageous marriage. Despite this, she remained a devout Catholic and is credited with raising a son who defended the Catholic Church and made it the official religion of Rome let alone she was credited at finding the True Cross.
St. Godelieve of Gistel (c. 1049–1070): She was married to Bertolf of Gistel, who treated her cruelly and eventually had her murdered. Godelieve is venerated as a martyr and a symbol of perseverance in the face of marital suffering.
St. Rita of Cascia (1381–1457): Known as the patroness of impossible causes, St. Rita endured an abusive marriage. After her husband's murder, she sought to join a convent and eventually became a nun, dedicating her life to prayer and charitable works.
These saints' lives how they remained steadfast in their faith and holiness despite the challenges and tribulations they faced in their marriages.
A failed marriage can be one of the most painful experiences in life, especially for a faithful Catholic who upholds the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage. If you find yourself in this situation, it's essential to remember that your dignity and worth in the eyes of God remain unchanged. Here’s how I navigate this and continue to practice your faith.
1. Seek Healing through the Sacraments
The sacraments are sources of grace and healing. Regular participation in the Eucharist and Confession can provide spiritual strength and peace. The Eucharist, the source and summit of our faith, unites us with Christ’s sacrifice and His boundless love. Confession offers the grace of reconciliation, helping us to forgive ourselves and others, and to seek God’s mercy.

2. Turn to Prayer and Devotion
Daily prayer is vital. Praying the Rosary, reading Scripture, and spending time in Eucharistic Adoration can be powerful sources of comfort and guidance. The lives of the saints, especially those who experienced marital difficulties like St. Rita of Cascia, can offer inspiration and intercession.
3. Trust in God’s Plan
St. Augustine reminds us that “our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee.” I trust that God has a plan for my life, even if it is not yet clear. I embrace the teachings of Divine Providence, knowing that God can bring good out of every situation, including suffering. Offer my pain to God as a form of prayer and unite it with the sufferings of Christ.
4. Seek Community Support
The Church is a family, and it’s essential to find support within your parish or Catholic community. Participating in parish activities, or seeking counsel from a trusted priest or spiritual director can provide much-needed companionship and guidance. Above all don’t feel sorry for yourself or look within. Take that pain and offer it up and do more works for Christ. The devil wants you to give up. I truly believe that the more I did for the Church while I was married the more Satan had to put me in check and he did it through the weakness of my spouse. So do I let him win? Never! I double down.
5. Live a Life of Charity
Even in the midst of personal suffering, we are called to love and serve others. Engaging in acts of charity can be a profound way to find healing and purpose. Volunteer at your parish, help the less fortunate, or simply offer a listening ear to others in need.
6. Consider the Annulment Process
If the marriage was invalid from the start, an annulment may be an option. The annulment process, guided by the Church, seeks to determine whether a true sacramental marriage existed. If an annulment is granted, it means that, in the eyes of the Church, the marriage was not valid. This can provide clarity and peace, allowing you to consider the possibility of future relationships within the Church's teachings.

7. Embrace Your Vocation
Regardless of your marital status, God calls you to holiness. Embrace your vocation, whether it is to remain single, enter religious life, or pursue another path. Remember the words of St. Paul in his letter to the Corinthians: “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called” (1 Corinthians 7:20). Seek to live out your vocation with faithfulness and joy.
Conclusion
A failed marriage, while deeply painful, does not define your relationship with God or your path to holiness. By seeking healing through the sacraments, embracing prayer, trusting in God’s plan, finding community support, living a life of charity, considering the annulment process, and embracing your vocation, you can move forward with faith and hope. Remember, you are a beloved child of God, and His love for you is unchanging and eternal.
So Peggy G you can judge me but I will pray for you and hope you pray for me.
Heavenly Father,
I come before You with a heart that is heavy and burdened by the pain of a broken marriage. In this time of sorrow and uncertainty, I seek Your divine mercy and healing. You are the God of all comfort, and I trust in Your infinite love and compassion.
Lord Jesus, You know the depths of my suffering. You walked the path of sorrow and carried the cross for the salvation of the world. I unite my pain with Your holy wounds and offer it up to You, asking that You transform my suffering into a source of grace and redemption.
Holy Spirit, the Comforter, fill me with Your peace and strength. Guide me in the ways of wisdom and truth. Help me to forgive and to seek forgiveness where it is needed. Restore my heart and mind with Your healing presence.
Blessed Mother Mary, you are a mother to all who are in distress. I turn to you in my time of need, asking for your maternal intercession. Wrap me in your mantle of love and protection. Help me to trust in your Son, Jesus, and to follow His will for my life.
St. Joseph, protector of the Holy Family, be my guide and advocate. Help me to find strength in your example of faithfulness and trust in God's plan. Intercede for me as I seek to rebuild my life and find peace in God's will.
Heavenly Father, grant me the grace to remain faithful to Your commandments and to live a life of virtue. Help me to find comfort in Your sacraments and to grow in holiness despite the trials I face. May Your will be done in my life, and may I always trust in Your divine providence.
Through Christ our Lord, Amen