The Bad Touch (Bardcore - Medieval Parody Cover) Originally by Bloodhound Gang

Good day, welcometh to our musical marvel. Heareth our rendition of the famous tune and wallow in merriment, The Bad Touch originally by Bloodhound Gang. May thee drop a liketh & subscribeth for more of our sweet melodies as they are released upon thineselves. We hope to see thee in good stead on the morrow!

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Haha, well now,
We doth call this the act of coupling,
Yet there be several other most important differences
Betwixt human beings and beasts that thou shouldst knoweth.
Sweat, fair maiden, sweat, for congress be a Texas drought,
Thou and I perform such deeds as only the minstrel Prince would sing about.
So place thine hands down my breeches, and I'll wager thou wilt feel madness,
Aye, I am Siskel, aye, I am Ebert,
And thou art receiving two thumbs raised in approval.
Thou hast had enough of gentle caresses,
Thou desirest it rough, outside the bounds,
I wish thee smothered, wish thee covered,
Like mine Waffle House hash browns.
Arriving swifter than the courier FedEx, never reaching peak,
Just like the stock of Coca-Cola, thou art inclined
To rouse me an hour earlier just like Daylight Savings Time.
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Do it again now)
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Gettin' lustful now)
Love, the kind thou cleans with a mop and pail,
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we did place it.
Hieroglyphs, let me be specific, I desire to voyage to thy Southern Seas,
But I have this notion that the motion of thy ocean
Doth signal a small craft advisory.
So if I capsize 'tween thy thighs, high tide, B-5, thou hast sunk my battleship.
Please turn me on, I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip,
So show me thine, I'll show thee mine, "Tool Time,"
Thou shalt Lovett just like Lyle,
And then we shall enact it doggy style,
So we may both observe the X-Files.
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Do it again now)
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Gettin' lustful now)
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Do it again now)
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Do it again now)
Thou and I, my lady, art naught but mammals,
So let us enact it as they do on the Discovery Channel.
(Gettin' lustful now)

#bardcore #medievalcover #funny