There are NO Justified Resentments - Wayne Dyer

Afterskool - There are NO Justified Resentments - Wayne Dyer

Oct 17, 2023
Wayne Walter Dyer (May 10, 1940 – August 29, 2015) was an American self-help author and a motivational speaker. Dyer completed a Ed.D. in guidance and counseling at Wayne State University in 1970. Early in his career, he worked as a high school guidance counselor, and went on to run a successful private therapy practice. He became a popular professor of counselor education at St. John's University, where he was approached by a literary agent to put his ideas into book form. The result was his first book, Your Erroneous Zones (1976), one of the best-selling books of all time, with an estimated 100 million copies sold.This launched Dyer's career as a motivational speaker and self-help author, during which he published 20 more best-selling books and produced a number of popular specials for PBS. Influenced by thinkers such as Abraham Maslow and Albert Ellis, Dyer's early work focused on psychological themes such as motivation, self actualization and assertiveness.

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Transcript

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I was in a group one time of uh drug addicts and alcoholics and I was one of the people that was
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a sponsor and leading this group and the sign on the wall said there are no Justified resentments
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in this group and what I said to that group that that night was no matter what anybody says to you
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here no matter what kind of anger comes directed towards you no matter how much hate you may
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encounter showing up in your life there are no Justified resentments meaning that if you carry
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around resentment inside of you about anything or about anyone and I'm talking about the person that
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you lent money to and hasn't paid you back I'm talking about the person in your life that you
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feel was abusive I'm talking about the person who walked out on you and left you for somebody else
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I'm talking about all of the things that you have justified in your heart and in your life
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that you have the right to be resentful about and I'm suggesting to you that those resentments will
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always end up harming you and creating in you a sense of Despair I've often said that no one ever
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dies from a snake bite the snake bite will never kill you you cannot be unbitten once you're bitten
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you're bitten but it's the Venom that continues to pour through your system after the bite that
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will end up destroying you so now you have to take a look at all of the resentments that you
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may have in your life and I'd like to suggest to you that I think there is a Wonder wonderful
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metaphor for this that I have created in my life for how to make this work there's a show called
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uh Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and basically this show has two levels that you have to get
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to now the first level is the $1,000 level and at the $1,000 level you basically have to answer a
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question like on your hand you have some digits those digits on your hand are called your feet
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your nose your ears your fingers uh and everybody whoever goes on the show has this horrible dread
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that they're going to go out on one of those questions right so basically in order to get
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to the Thousand level all you have to do is answer five pretty simple questions in order to uh to get
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to the th000 level now the th000 level for you in this metaphor means that you will leave with
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something if you get this at least get this this is the Thousand level you must send blame out of
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your life for any conditions of your life blame has to go all right now blame means if you're
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sitting there with a disease you say without guilt it's mine I take responsibility for it
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this means that if you have been through any tough circumstances in your life this means if you have
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a minimal amount of Financial Security in your life this means if your children don't get along
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with you this means that uh if your neighbors are having taking up a petition to get you out of the
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neighborhood whatever it might be that's going on in your life you name it and everybody has
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a series of these things that you're willing to say I am here because of the choices that I have
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made right now I'm willing to say that even though it's difficult and we know it's really
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not your fault we know really there's a lot of people out there who are really bad all right
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but but you're willing to say no blame that's the first level all right that's where you understand
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no Justified resentments and then on the uh Who Wants To Be A Millionaire show there is what is
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called the $32,000 level and the $32,000 level is not only an opportunity for you to walk away
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with a sizable amount of goodies but it also is the door opener to multi- wealth but you got to
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get to this in order to have an opportunity to move into these Transcendent levels all right
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millionaire spiritual status all right you got to get through these next five questions and this
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$32,000 question or level rather comes to this and it came to me from a quotation that I use in the
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writing of a spiritual solution to every problem I read the uh a book that was written a couple of
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thousand years ago by pangali the yoga sutras the aphorisms of patang and one of those sutras one of
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those aphorisms observations that This brilliant man made almost 2,000 years ago was this he said
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if you become steadfast in your exensions of thoughts of harm directed towards others all
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living creatures will cease to feel enmity in your presence now this translates to blame pretty basic
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no more blame I'm just not going to assign responsibility to other people for where I am
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because now I have an opportunity to get rid of it if I think someone else CAU it then I've got
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to wait for somebody else to change in order for me to get rid of it and you might wait forever for
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that but if I take responsibility for it I can do something including move on which might be
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the most important thing to do but at the higher level when there are no Justified resentments what
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you are doing is you are at a place where you are sending love in response to hate you are literally
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saying no matter what comes my way I am going to be steadfast in my exstension of thoughts of harm
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directed toward others I'm going to work hard at no matter what comes my way having it come out
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of me what I want to come out of me and that is love and that is a higher energy and if you can
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get to that level patanjali said all living creatures will cease to feel enmity in your
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presence I have a little girl a precious little girl I have six precious girls and two precious
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Sons but I have a a little girl who is almost 12 and she loves animals like no one I've ever
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met in my life I mean her whole life revolves around animals and when we walk in the woods
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butterflies avoid me fly away from people around and they come and they land right on her arm and
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it happens all the time all living creatur she couldn't have a thought of harm directed towards
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any living creature and patang said to us all living creatures will cease to feel fear or
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enmity or anger in the presence of those who can send love in response to hate that's what I mean
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when I say there are no Justified resentments what I'd like to do I'd like to share a little
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story here with you it's a very tender story it was sent to me by someone who sends me beautiful
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things in the mail and I call it the teddy story and I'd like to read this to you if I can do it
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without tearing up and this story illustrates this as well as anything I've ever seen there's
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a story many years ago of an elementary school teacher her name was Mrs Thompson as she stood
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in front of her fifth grade class on the very first day of school she told the children a lie
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like most teachers she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same but that was
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impossible because there in the front row slumped in his seat was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard
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Mrs Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't play well with the
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other children that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath Teddy could be
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unpleasant had got to the point where Mrs Thompson would actually take Delight in marking his papers
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with a broad red pen and making bold x's and then putting a big F at the top of his papers at the
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school where Mrs Thompson taught she was required to review each child's past records and she put
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Teddy's off until last however when she reviewed his file she was in for a surprise Teddy's first
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grade teacher wrote Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh he does his work neatly and he has
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good manners he's a joy to be around his second grade teacher wrote Teddy's an excellent student
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well-liked by his classmates but he's troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life
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at home must be a struggle his third grade teacher wrote his mother's death has been hard on him he
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tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect
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him if steps aren't taken Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote Teddy's withdrawn and doesn't show
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up much interest in school he doesn't have many friends and sometimes he even sleeps in class by
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now Mrs Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself she felt even worse when her
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students brought her Christmas presents wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper except for
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Teddy's his present was clumsily wrapped in his heavy brown paper that he got from the grocery
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bag Mrs Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other present some of the children
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started the when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing and a bottle that
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was one qu full of perfume but she stifled her children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty
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the bracelet was putting it on and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist Teddy Stoddard stayed
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after school that day just long enough to say Mrs Thompson today you smell just like my mom used
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to after the children left she cried for at least an hour on the very day she quit teaching Reading
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Writing and arithmetic and instead she began to teach children Mrs Thompson paid particular
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attention to Teddy as she worked with him and his mind seemed to come alive the more she encouraged
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him the faster he responded by the end of the year Teddy had become one of the smartest children in
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the class and despite her lie became one of her teachers pets a year later she found a note under
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the door from Teddy telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life six
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years went by before she got another note from Teddy he then wrote that he had finished High
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School third in his class and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life four
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years after that she got another letter saying that while things had been tough at times he
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stayed in school and stuck with it and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors
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he assured Mrs Thompson that she was still the very best and favorite teacher he ever had in
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his whole life then four more years passed and yet another letter came this time he explained
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that after he got his bachelor's degree he decided to go a little further the letter explained that
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she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had but now his name was a little longer
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the letter was signed Theodore F Stoddard MD but the story doesn't end there you see there was
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yet another letter that spring Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married he explained
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that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs Thompson might agree to
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sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom of course
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Mrs Thompson did and guess what she wore that bracelet the one with the several rhinestones
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missing and she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing
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on their last Christmas together they hugged each other and Dr Stoddard whispered in Mrs Thompson's
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ear thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference Mrs
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Thompson came with tears in her eyes and whispered back Teddy you have it all wrong you were the one
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who taught me that I could make a difference I didn't know how to teach until I met you isn't
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that a beautiful story that symbolizes there are no Justified resentments work at reaching that
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$32,000 level the place where the only thing you have to send is love because that's what's inside
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and that's the message of our greatest spiritual teachers that's all they ever had to give [Music]
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[Music] away