You are run by Your Childhood TRAUMA and You don't even know it
You are run by your childhood trauma and you don't even know it. Throughout your upbringing, you would've had some belief systems and trauma that were instilled and now these are running your life.
There is the mother-father-child triangle through which we all relate. If you have not healed from maternal wounds, then you will have trouble expressing yourself in relationships, being vulnerable, and embracing your emotional side.
If you have not healed from your paternal wounds, you will have trouble being assertive, having confidence, and staying true to your words and opinions.
Now it's very important to heal these wounds, as if you don't this reflects onto the relationships you have now and in the future.
If you grew up with a very controlling parent, you will attract people who are controlling as well. It's Because a part of you feels that this is normal and feels safe in a controlled environment.
And that' reason you attract people who are controlling.
This is very similar to people living in toxic relationships, they would've had toxic upbringings or experiences.
Now this feels normal and safe, so when they are placed in a healthy relationship they feel out of place because it doesn't feel normal and safe.
Hence, they sabotage the relationship and themselves and go back to a toxic relationship.
This is the dynamics that play out.
So that's why it's important to heal from your childhood trauma and break these patterns.
You can do this by imagining the person or people who hurt you right in front of you and now you start letting out things you wanna say. Or you can also write it down (like a letter) and let go of it.
By doing this it is much easier to lift off the weight and let go of these emotions and trauma that is holding you back.
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