Bill Bailey & The Backslaps - Bitch Make Me A Sammich

Hey baby
Give me what I need
A mouthy broad
She's no good to me
Equal rights are found in the kitchen
That's not a myth
So baby, keep the house clean
That's my wish

I like my Old Fashioned
Smooth and neat
With a splash of Jim Beam
Make it sweet
So when I come home
Hungry and tired
I need your love
And a sandwich is required

Bitch make me a sammich
Bitch make me a sammich
All the cool boys in their hammocks
Don't want a girl too dynamic
Gloria Steinem's a witch
Now fetch me that sammich

After a long hard day
smokin' and drinkin' with the boys
I expect a hot meal on the table
don't give me that noise
That lipstick on my collar's none
of your business
Just smile and take off that evening dress

My friends ask if I own a dishwasher
and I say I do
I point the cigar between my fingers
right at you
Domestic goddess taking good care of her King
Now get in the bedroom and take care of one last thing, but first

Bitch make me a sammich
Bitch make me a sammich
All the cool boys in their hammocks
Don't want a girl too dynamic
Gloria Steinem's a witch
Now fetch me that sammich

[chorus]
Bitch make me a sammich
Bitch make me a sammich
All the cool boys in their hammocks
Don't want a girl too dynamic
Gloria Steinem's a witch
Now fetch me that sammich