W.C. Reports

I wrote this song 8-years ago when I was a Workflow Coordinator (W.C.) preparing and sending reports to the two teams that I covered for in our department. There were over a dozen of us WCs and we dealt with daily issues getting the reports out and the accounts worked. This is a light hearted tune to bring a smile on the face of my fellow WCs. If you've ever dealt with reports, you might enjoy this too.

Lyrics listed below:
[Verse]
Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please.
I went to log on this morning
And without any warning
I found that Microsoft Excel just started crashing
If you get in and you find that excel is working fine
Please don't go laughing and mocking
That will start me off sobbing and I might decide
To smash the thing

[Verse]
Then that will probably get me arrested
My 5 keys will all be contested
Then Ben will come by and box up all my nifty stuff
Look Out!
Then KK will have to write all the code
Look Out!
Rebecca will have to test them quite bold
Look Out!
Kathleen will skip them 'cause streamline doesn't use 'em
And Rob will not notice because QC is so cruel

[Chorus]
WC Reports!
We love to crunch the data more than our cohorts
Quick send them out before your team gets cranky

[Verse]
Soon, very soon, the SLA report will pop up on SharePoint
Just hope the data's not buggy
Or the logics all fuzzy
Then you'll have to use the data from yesterday
The Welcome Calls and the Auto Close reports are right behind
And don't forget underwriters, they just hang out like spiders
So just assign some loans for them to work
Be sure to check for those callback appointments
RMs can't miss those appointments
Or else all your CSATs will be ranked a 1 or 2

[Verse]
Look Out!
Underwriter Assignments came out
Look Out!
You have a hundred accounts to pass out
Look Out!
And half your team went and called out today
Look Out!
Today is Friday, it always happens that way
Look Out!
And now the calls, they are flooding right in
Look Out!
Your team's work gathers dust, what a sin
Look Out!
Then the fire alarm, it rings all over the place
And sends the whole big department to their parking space
That's the job with

[Chorus]
WC Reports
We love to crunch the data more than our cohorts
Quick send them out before your team gets cranky

[Bridge]
WC Reports!
We love to crunch the data more than our cohorts
Quick send them out before your team gets cranky
Without reports they'll start some hanky panky
Send them some work, and I mean send it to them now

[Verse]
If the reports don't go out on time every day
You'll be sure to hear from Benjamin and Shane right away
Hello everybody, I have loans to give away
These are very different from those given yesterday
If you take a whole bunch, I'll consider giving pay
But if you take nothing, Ben will surely come and send you right away

[Chorus]
WC Reports
We love to crunch the data more than our cohorts
Quick send them out before your team gets cranky

[Chorus]
WC Reports
We love to crunch the data more than our cohorts
Quick send them out before your team gets cranky

[Chorus]
WC Reports
We love to crunch the data more than our cohorts
Quick send them out before your team gets cranky
Without reports they'll start some hanky panky
Send them some work, and I mean send it to them now

[Outro]
What are you waiting for?
Just hurry up and send reports to every single person on your team
Hit send right now!