Apatros Review Ep-0063: BloodRayne [2005]

AR-0063: The very first time I cover an Uwe Boll film here [BTW the correct way to pronounce this bloke's first name is "Oo-va" , as in "Hoover" without the H. Makes perfect sense as in many countries Hoover is a common euphemism for vacuum cleaner and Boll's movies act just like vacuum cleaners - they SUCK!], here we check out the third of Boll's Unholy Trilogy of videogame adaptations and in my view the worst one I've seen.

Former Terminator Kristanna Loken plays the titular damphir [human-vampire hybrid], who makes a bloody escape from the circus troupe that has been keeping her prisoner, to hunt down the vampire who raped her mother and thus conceived her - none other than Kagan, King of the Vampires [Ben Kingsley in a bad wig and zero attempt at acting conviction].

This movie sucks harder than the showroom at your local Godfreys [Aussie vacuum cleaner retailer - which unfortunately had gone defunct a few weeks before this video was uploaded], and as an adaptation of the cult classic PS2 game it sucks even harder, but it is indeed good for a laugh if you're a masochist up for some fix with a serious bite...

My Grade: D [Bad]

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